[4Marmalade]

I just read through a bunch of archived stuff hoping to get a better idea on whether or not we should consider nightweaning ds. All it did was make me feel even more confused

:. Ds is 20 months and wakes up to nurse almost every 2 hours at night. He has been like this from day one. Plus he nurses a lot during the day. I'm feeling very discouraged lately with the lack of sleep. I co-sleep with him but can't sleep while he's nursing and he tends to get very frustrated if I don't respond and nurse him within his 2 second window of opportunity

. There have been a few occasions where he will go back to sleep without nursing but those are pretty rare. And if I try to not nurse him he can get pretty aggressive and kicks and cries (angry....not sad). All of the above leads me to believe that he might not be ready but I also know that he is very verbal and understands a lot. He doesn't nurse to sleep for naps and bedtime (he asks but I can easily tell him that we just nursed before getting into bed and he smiles because he knows it's true).

I honestly can't see a future where he will nightwean on his own. All I picture is a little boy who is going to get even more demanding. He really LOVES mama's milk! He wants noting to do with dh in the middle of the night. I just can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really just need to see the slightest flicker! We're hoping to ttc #2 in a few months and I am really worried. During my first pregnancy I had horrible nausea/throwing up the entire time

and the thought of being like that while staying home with ds all day and waking that much at night is almost enough to make me want to wait even longer before ttc.

Someone please tell me it will get better. I love my ds soooo much and I hate feeling so discouraged

.

 

[Annoia]

Don't have anything insightful to say, just

 

[FitMama]

You're not selfish! I think you're really fatigued and feeling frustrated. You're not alone. My DS will not be comforted by DH either. Last night I went to take a shower and DS awakened. Daddy could not soothe him whatsoever. He was freaking out...he just wanted mama's milk.

I think 20 months is really young still, and hopefully the time will soon come when your child "grows out" of this. You could try No Cry Sleep Solution. I keep going back to it but my heart's not in it. I'm not really ready to give up the nightwakings.

Sorry I couldn't be more help.

 

[spsmom]

i was reading through some threads before posting my own just to see if i could find others with this dilemma. and there you were! i could have written your message myself. my ds is 15 mo. i asked my sil for advise (she has 3 children, youngest is 16 mo) she still bf but nightweened around this same age with all her kids. i tried it for 2 nights and was miserable. i am coming to the conclusion that ds just is not ready yet and i am trying to look at it in a different perspective. he is not going to be this young and dependent for too long. cherish every moment. if anyone has any more suggestions, they would greatly be appreciated. thanks mama to one for your input.

spsmom, happy at home!!!

 

[mamasboys4me]

big hugs!! I guess I'm in the minority when I say that I think you really need to think of yourself sometimes too. An unhappy/tired mama can't bring as much back to the family as a well rested mama, imho.

I think I nightweaned ******* when he was 16 months old. I an article on the dr. sears site that made some sense to me. dr. sears on nightweaning

******* used to nurse once or twice, but it was enough to really interrupt my sleep. I don't remember him having any problems with it. He might have wanted to pull up my shirt a few times, but that was it. He is extremely stubborn, and I knew if I let it continue (for us and him) that it would be way harder a few months later.

He still slept and cuddled with us and knew he was loved, I think that is what matters

Take care of yourself.

 

[4Marmalade]

Sometimes it just helps to vent about things. I'm actually having a better day today. It helped that I looked in on ds last night before going to bed and looked at his peaceful sleeping face

. I suppose there were a lot of things that were going on that made me feel near the end of my rope. Dh has been gone for 4 days now so I've been on my own. Dh is back tonight so at least I will have that extra support during the evenings again. Plus I spent the weekend with different friends whose children all sleep through the night. Mind you they are not co-sleeping, b/f or doing any kind of real AP but after spending hours with them telling me how patient I am because there's no way they could wake up 4-7 times a night and still b/f it starts to really get to me. I don't always feel bad about how things are going here until people keep bringing it up!

I think we will wait it out a bit more and see how ds does. I'm thinking he's in the middle of a growth spurt because he has been asking to nurse all day long as well as eating way more food than he normally does. If we do nightwean I want it to be gentle and I think over the next few months he will start to understand more. He just started saying night-night to certain things so maybe that will help in the future.

Thanks again for being here and understanding.

 

[Piglet68]

I know it can seem as though things will be that way forever, but you know in your heart they won't. Your six year old will not need to nurse every 2 hours!

If you read the "nightweaning success stories" thread that I started in this forum, you'll see a common theme appears to crop up when children begin to show signs of readiness for nightweaning: popping off the breast themselves before being fully asleep, increased cuddling to sleep, etc. At 20 months, you are very close to the "finish line" I'm sure. And maybe there will be some tips in that thread to help you get a start on it. Nightweaning gently is sometimes a slow but steady process, as it has been for us. You can try to start now with some baby steps, but just keep an eye on his reaction to see if he's truly ready or not. If not, you can try again in a couple of months.