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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am so thankful for this place! I am so thankful to find other moms nursing toddlers and children!

BUT, in real life, at playgroup, with family I am feeling more and more alone in our extended bf! My son is 22 mos. and we are happily nursing along. Why does this make us the exception? Why do I feel the need to tread so carefully with formula/cow's milk feeders--so I don't make them feel bad for their decision? Why, if I am pro-bf, does this make me a Breastfeeding Nazi? (Not that I object to that, even...but, why is it?) Why has what we do, gone from being "nursing" to being "STILL nursing?"

It's really starting to wear on me.


I did have an older woman get all excited for us that we were still nursing (see, even I do it!). And it was so nice. She said, "You probably don't hear that a lot, do you?" I said, "No. We don't. Thank you so much. It's really nice of you to say." It felt really good.

Does anyone else feel this way? I don't know what I would do if I couldn't come here and read all this wonderful pro-bf stuff!
 

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Contact your local La Leche League. Ask about nursing toddlers. Some areas have enough to have seperate toddler meetings! Even if they don't have a toddlers group... GO! It won't solve all your problems but it will give you an opportunity once a month to meet with people who support what you are doing. Who are doing it themselves. Who admire you for it. That once a month shot of support helps me SO much sometimes!!!
 

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Plus, I have met the BEST mom friends at LLL! You might find someone to go to the park with and nurse toddlers together. Some LLL groups have playgroups or you can try to start one with other moms there.

You are not alone! and you're doing such a great thing for your child.

 

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LLL yes!

actively nursing a 3 yr. old, here. and the 7 yr. old sister nusrses with her brother about 60seconds at bedtime. she falls asleep quick because she doesn't nap.

seems perfectly normal at our house. if that disturbs you, then the shoe is on the other foot. ha!

the new studies show that it is healthiest for mom and baby for children to be spaced between 3 and 5 years apart. extended breastfeeding is a big part of that. (mariam labock, unicef)

read MOTHERING YOUR NURSING TODDLER
 

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LLL yes!

actively nursing a 3 yr. old, here. and the 7 yr. old sister nusrses with her brother about 60seconds at bedtime. she falls asleep quick because she doesn't nap.

seems perfectly normal at our house. if that disturbs you, then the shoe is on the other foot. ha!

the new studies show that it is healthiest for mom and baby for children to be spaced between 3 and 5 years apart. extended breastfeeding is a big part of that. (mariam labock, unicef)

read MOTHERING YOUR NURSING TODDLER, available to check out at an LLL meeting. great book.

you represent the real normal for humans, modern society is a mutation.

rrr
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
THANKS!! Thank you all for your kind words and the suggestions to get to LLL! I have been meaning to go for soooo long now, and now it is just imperative! I will check it out and hopefully feel right at home!
 

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I really can relate to how you feel, in my home it is normal and wonderful experience. Among my friends in my playgroup I am the only one who EBF, I do stand out and it would be nice to have a close friend to talk to and joke around about all the things that take place when you are nursing a 2.5 yr old. I got to LLL meetings for this kind of support just to be around other moms nursing toddlers, so I second all the LLL reccomendations, some groups even have toddler meetings which are less fromal and more like a playgroup.
 

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My ds is 17 mo. and even my friends that I thought would bf until their babies are ready to wean are talking about weaning...


Most of our friends from when before we had kids don't even know Ben is "STILL" nursing. Thank goodness for LLL--that way I know there are real, live moms--even in breastfeeding-unfriendly NJ!!!
 

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buy a copy of mothering your nursing toddler and freely loan it out.

take out an ad in the local paper or weekly classified paper. "who else believes in child led weaning? call me at ____"

memorize this from the world health organization:

breastfeeding should continue for a minimum of 2 years with no recommended weaning age.

i quote that all the time.

research more about international breastfeeding policies that change all the time. unicef, the u.n. , the world health organization. then you will understand how extended breastfeeding is a matter of life and death all over the world.

work with the local wic office to bring a LLL meeting to the office. encourage them to create a breastpump loan system. they certainly do this elsewhwere, including here in oregon.

plenty more ideas.

rrr
 

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I'm feeling pretty lonely about ebf also. Most of my friends don't even have kids but they all seemed pretty supportive of Bf when dd was little but now that she is older I'm pretty sure that they are starting to think I'm wierd.

I dunno but it seems that the nutrutional reasons for nursing past 1yo are very poorly known by the general public.

Like one of my bestfriends (she's has no kids but is from a family where bfing is common) who I though was very pro bf just said something the other day about how children and moms who nurse past 1 are just doing it for "comfort" and that there is no real nutritional reason to do so. I was floored by this misconception because she such a well read and educated person.
 

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I feel pretty lonely and odd too, sometimes. I have only two real friends IRL that EBF, and only one that I see on a regular basis. I do "know" plenty of women from API and LLL that EBF, but we are not really close (I'm too crunchy for the mainstream folks around here and too soggy for the AP mommas
, who talk down to me so much that I don't attend meetings any longer). As I have gotten older, I have found that I really enjoy bucking the trends, as far as doing EBF cloth dipes, etc. I get a perverse thrill out of watching people squirm as they try to find something NOT rude to say in response to my "wierd" parenting ways. Like, when someone asks me how long I will continue nursing, I always smile peacefully and say "As long as she needs to" or "We're taking it day by day". They fidget and smile nervously, and cannot think of anything to say, unless they are willing to be downright nasty, which most are not. It's kinda fun
.
 

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Isn't it amazing? I feel the same way and my babies are only 14 mos old. I get it from everyone - parents who breastfed and stopped "at the 1 year mark"... parents who bottlefed, people who aren't parents... they say the dreaded word "still" and ask "how long do you have to do that?" Isn't that awful??? It truly floors me because I feel this is the most amazing thing I've ever done in my entire life - to be able to sustain these little bodies of life! It's challenging, exciting, demanding, wonderful, and natural all at the same time! and it's how humans have survived for the billions of years prior to the advent of "gerber".

I have a small playgroup of 4-5 other moms and our babies are all within 3 mos of eachother and I'm the only one still breastfeeding. In fact, my babies are the only ones who haven't had cows milk, ice cream, goldfish, french fries, chips, or canned veggies. And I'm the only one who sleeps with my babies. I don't say much because I'd feel like I'm placing myself above the other moms, but I can see the detatchment in their babies eyes.

I struggle with how to deal with people like this every day. I even need to remind my own family at times. But deep in my heart, I truly don't care and I'm going to do what's best for my babies.

and YES!!! LLL is truly amazing. We go to a twins LLL in our area and the support and encouragement is beyond any other group we go to.

--- and we're all here for you!

susan

charlotte + else
7.20.02
 

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You are not alone, mamas!

For some reason, just to keep nursing past that one year mark really weirds some folks out ... and now that we're pushing two it's intensified. But, I'm lucky to be the daughter of a mama who breastfed her children through toddlerhood and to have a husband who is very supportive of it and lists the benefits to anyone who will listen!

Still, sometimes it can be a lonely place to be if you don't have other mama's around you. I recently parted ways with a friend who between my nursing in public and nursing a toddler just couldn't handle being around us anymore (she says it grosses her out) That really makes me sad
My nursing bond with my child is one of the best things about being a mama. I wouldn't trade it for the society's approval at anytime ... but, that said, sometimes I do wish it wasn't such a controversial thing and would get accepted as okay already!

Last summer I put together a little mini 'zine (a 'zine is a homemade magazine - usually photocopied and stapled together, as is mine) that's my free gift to the world about extended breastfeeding. I was tired of feeling alone about it and wanted to reach out to other mama's who felt the same way. I got about half a dozen mamas to write some things for it (including my own mama
) and now I hand it out whenever I get the chance. There are lots of good things out there for information (like mothering your nursing toddler and mothering mag) but this was just my little personal gift to the world.

It's quarter sized (1/4 of a sheet of paper) and I'll happily mail it out to anyone who wants it. (we are going on vacation next week, so be a little patient with me) Like I said, it's my little gift to the extended nursing mamas and babes out there - just a little something fun. For me, it helps to know there are other mamas out there doing what I do and dealing with some of the same things. Places like these message boards help, too.


As was said earlier, you aren't alone!
 

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Hi Kara,

I'd love a copy of the 'zine. Let me know what to do.

thanks!
susan
 

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It's called "Yes, I'm Still Nursing" and I'd be happy to stick a copy in the mail for anyone who would like one


We're leaving for vacation on Saturday, but if you send me an email (its [email protected]) or a pm here with your addy I'll drop it by the post office before we go. If you want one after that, just give me about 10 days to get back from vacation and settled in.

It helps me to know that even if I mama be the only mama I know "in real life" still nursing that there are others out there. And, you might be surprised - I'm learning that there are some "closet" extended nursers out there in some of the mama groups I'm in. At any rate, sometimes it's nice to hear the voices of women going through similar things that we are in certain periods of our lives ... one of the reasons bb's like this one a mdc are so great
 
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