[Desdamona]

DH and I are still legally married. We lived together in the same house until September 10, 2006. He worked. I stayed home with the 4 kids, with no income of my own.<br><br>
As per our old accountant, we should file jointly and then split the return ourselves. DH suggested 50/50 split which I flat out rejected. He is currently working, supporting only himself. He has not sent regular CS since the separation. Nothing since Thanksgiving.<br><br>
DH needs our youngest's SS# to file, which I have. It is holding everything up. I need to decide what to do.<br><br>
I am NOT comfortable with a return check being electronically deposited into an account that only has HIS name on it, which it has in the past. I am not on the account we used as a joint account because he screwed up my credit passing bad checks in 2003 on a joint account and I was placed on the CheckSystem... yet his credit is just honkey dorey. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: But that is a rant for another time.<br><br>
I am still walking on eggshells here in NC since I don't want to anger him to the point where he files for custody in NY and compells the kids and I back<br>
there. Only 2 more months until I can files here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/fingersx.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="fingersx">:<br><br>
Anyone have any suggestions as to how to handle this?

 

[maybelle]

Sounds like you're darned if you do, darned if you don't.<br><br>
Given the issues you discussed, I have two thoughts. The first is that in order to file jointly, you both have to sign the return. You don't have to sign if you are uncomfortable with direct deposit. You can choose to sign a return that results in a physical check being mailed to an address you're comfortable with. Perhaps someone else has some knowledge as to whether a physical check with both your names on it has to be signed by both parties. If that is the case, you could make arrangements accordingly.<br><br>
My second thought is more long-term. I so, so understand your frustration with him not supporting the mancubs and then potentially getting the "bonus" of the tax refund. But if you only have 2 more months before you can file in NC, you may want to consider letting the dragon sleep, KWIM? You've been getting along so far without his support, if you can hang on just a few more weeks, the ball will be in your court. And once you get a CS order in place, it may be retroactive to the time you split. You may even have legal leverage then to get a portion of the refund. Let's call it delayed gratification <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> !

 

[MissLotus]

I agree with Maybelle. My first thought was: Don't sign until he agrees to directly pay you not only half the refund but make him first pay upfront all the child support he owes you to date.<br><br>
Then I read that you're almost to a point where you can file for custody where you live. That's the BIG picture and more important. I fully agree that you're entitled to the money, but I'm just thinking about saving yourself a huge hassle in the end.

 

[cheyennemama]

I was going to file jointly with X. But I'm filing head of household and will get the EITC credit which will SO help! X promised last year to share with me and it got depsoited into his account and of course, he gave me nothing. This year the plan was to deposit into my account and then split it with him. But then I realized about the EITC and I'll get more this way.