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Some mamas here have seen bits and pieces of my story in other threads and a few have asked me to post my story.<br><br>
I have been tring to get this written down for the past three years. It has been impossible to do with out becoming hysterical. The law suits are all settled now and I have been in therapy for three years...my Psyc. has been asking me to get it on paper so I finally did... It's most likely a bit disjointed...but I'm a bit disjointed about the whole thing anyway...for what it's worth, here it is:<br><br>
I went into labor at about 3 in the afternoon, called the MW & doula...told me to call again when contractions were 3-5 minutes apart. Things were moving quickly and I called and they came at around 5:30pm.<br><br>
I started feeling the incredible urge to push at about 9 pm. MW thought this was way too soon and asked if she could do a VE. I agreed. I was only 6 cm. We figured the babe was posteirior and she told my not to push. (if you have ever been though this, then you know, not pushing when you HAVE to is like trying not breath!!) well the pushing contractions and fighting them went on till 7:30 the next morning. MW asked to do another check...I was swollen down to 5 cm. They suggested that we transfer for some Pit, maybe some oral pain relief and take thing from there.<br><br>
We got to the hospital and lied that my water just broke a few hours ago. (it had been about 48 hours and there was some mec)<br><br>
They started pushing for a section right away. I kept refusing. The told me I couldn't have Pit with out an epidural. I refused. They insisted on constant monitoring...I refused. The called a judge...threatened a court order...so we allowed monitoring. They were not getting "good enough readings" so they insisted on internal monitoring (I am a sexual abuse survivor...they knew this...the abuse was perpetrated by a doctor...they knew this as well. I completely freak out when strangers mess with my private parts...this was almost the entire reason for me wanting a HB to start with) So they decided that I was the perfect candidate to try out some new internal monitor that they had never used before. They couldn't get it inserted, they couldn't get it to work...they kept having to take it out and reinsert it... I was screaming at the top of my lungs that they were raping me. (at this point DH says I sort of went catatonic, I stopped responding to anyone...I completely shut down. DH says this went on for almost 45 minutes. Finally they decided it was working right, even though they were only getting sporadic readings. They then decided that this meant that DD was in distress. (there was absolutely no proof of this, My HB MW even checked my with her doppler and everything with the baby was fine) They started in an the section again and got the judge back on the phone. I was pretty aware at this point and spoke to him myself. He told me that it was out of my hands and he was willing to sign a court order. He also warned me that if he had to do that, then CPS would be called and I would not get to even see my DD "if she lived". We finally agreed to the section.<br><br>
Right after DD was born, the kidnapped her to NICU. She was fine, no problems breathing...strong heart rate...perfectly fine. It was just their way of punishing me for attempting a HB. DH was with her the entire time. He didn't allow any vit. K. No eye goo, no Hep B, no PKU...nothing...they were REALLLLYYYY pissed!!! We were high on the radar. As soon as I got feeling back in my legs, and they took out that awful catheter, I went down to NICU. They wouldn;t let me hold her, let alone breastfeed. They had her on "nothing by mouth" a glucose IV and prophelactic ABX...all without consent. DH refused to sign and they got a court order for it. We tried to leave and set off every alarm in the hospital. Hospital security showed up as did the police since we were "stealing" our own baby.<br><br>
We called our lawyer. He got us an emergency hearing the next morning. We both showed up in court (mind you, it had been less than 24 hours since they butchered me to remove my baby) and with her and my medical records (which DH stole from my room and NICU), the judge released her to our custody.<br><br>
When we got back to the hospital to get her (we left my MIL with her while we went to court - there was no way we were leaving her alone with them) they were not in the NICU. We were told they had taken her down to radiology with my MIL. (DD had only 1 kidney, we knew this long before her birth) They decided that they would run a kidney reflux test while we were gone...My MIL objected, but they told her she had no authority (she did, we had left temporary medical proxy with her...gotta love my lawyer) We ran down to radiology only to find out that they couldn't run the test with out parental consent because it requires a separate consent for the radioactive dye they put in through the catheter. I had also never consented to my DD being catheterized. They were on their way to get a court order for that part when we gave them the custody papers from the court (our judge trumped their judge) and they had to release her to us. I took them till almost midnight to get all the AMA paperwork and authorization to remove the umbilical line (that was put in with out out consent by court order)<br><br>
We came home finally. I physically recovered for the most part, it took us 4 months to finally establish a BF relationship. Lots of heartache and tears over that. We had to use donated BM. I pumped, used every suppliment known to man and almost had to starve her till she agreed to take the breast (this was all done with the services of a post partum doula who is a lactation specialist. She lived with us for 3 weeks).<br><br>
We sued...We sued, the hospital, the hospitals CNMs, the OB who cut me open, the Head of the NICU. Hospital security, the local police department....There were more individuals....I can't even remember who at this point.<br><br>
Basically the result was...As long as I consented to dropping the felony rape charge against the CNM with the internal monitor (which I did as long as she lost her privledges at the hospital, which she did...she is also up for medical review of her licence as we speak thanks to my charges) they would agree to an undisclosed financial settlement, Full financial responsibilty for Payment for my continuing therapy, Full financial responsibilty for the lactation doula, Full financial responsibilty for Payment for any future emotional damage to my DD. Besides all hospital fees being "forgiven"<br><br>
My DD is now 3. We finally reached this settlement over the winter. My DD's future will be financially secure. I don't think I'll ever feel secure again.
 

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my God, I'm so sorry. What a horrific experience. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Thank you for suing. Thank you for standing up for those who might not have had the strength to stand up for themselves. For those babies who get taken away from Mommies for no good reason. For those Mommies who get raped by the medical industry in so many ways. For those of us who live in terror of something just like this happening and feeling so out of control. It might seem small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but YOU made a difference in that hospital, in that town, with that CNM.... etc.<br><br>
BIG HUGS!!!!<br><br>
'Manda
 

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OMG!!!!! How awful!<br><br>
I am so glad that you were able to stand up for yourself and for your daughter. I hope this enables you to be able to begin to heal.
 

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Speechless. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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This makes me sick to my stomach. I am so, so sorry this happened to you and to your family. I am SO GLAD you put up a fight and even though it doesn't undo what was done, I'm glad that you had some legal justice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you all. I was not sure what kind of resonse this would get here. I know most people want to hear warm fuzzy birth stories, hence the warning in the title.<br><br>
I think my experience can serve as a sort of public service announcement. Be careful, this could happen to you!!<br><br>
I am grateful that I have a great lawyer. I can't even imagine what would have happened if he hadn't been able to get us that emergency hearing. We had been told she would need to stay in NICU for 7 days at least to complete the ABX. I was not going to be able to BF for at least 3 days and they would have to run a full tox panel on my first. (can you say unconstitutional?)<br><br>
The healing has just begon...Keeping this in litigation and all the work trying to convince the DA that this was a geniune sexual assault never let me process it. I was too busy being angry and fighting. I feel like I can finally breath a bit now.<br><br>
I do feel like I made a difference. I started this whole thing because I wanted revenge and justice and by the time it was over, I just wanted to make sure that this can't happen to someone else. I realize that this type of treatment won't stop just because of me, but it won't be by this group of medical practicioners in this hospital. Those who kept their jobs through this will think twice and those who were fired...I don't know. Hopefully it will follow them, if not on paper than at least in thier dreams!!
 

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Wow - the agast Wow, not the happy one. Thank you for sharing that whole story. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><br><br>
Is the judge who was coerced into issuing an order upset? Obviously he thought it was life or death based on lies from the doctor. When did he discover the truth?<br><br>
You say your healing has begun. How is your daughter doing?
 

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How are you? How's your little girl? Your dh? I am so sorry that you went through this.<br><br>
I'm from CT. In 1989 when my brother was born at home I knew the hb climate in CT was not great. I wasn't even 12 yrs old and I KNEW. Heck, RI banned it right around then. Either hb'ing or midwifery. One of the 2.<br><br>
ROCK ON for fighting and suing. I'm sorry your family went through that TORTURE to get it fixed, but I'm glad that it's been fixed financially for your daughter.<br><br>
I hope it gets fixed for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Apricot</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8038708"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Wow - the agast Wow, not the happy one. Thank you for sharing that whole story. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><br><br>
Is the judge who was coerced into issuing an order upset? Obviously he thought it was life or death based on lies from the doctor. When did he discover the truth?<br><br>
You say your healing has begun. How is your daughter doing?</div>
</td>
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I know nothing about that judge. All of the civil issues were handled through mediation and closed hearings. I never saw or heard from that judge again. Since it never went to trial, I have not actually seen his testimony. I think he did have the facts. He just sided with the medical experts that I was a crazy hippy who wanted my baby to die.<br><br>
My DD is AMAZING!!! She is very zen like daddy. Smart and funny!! And waaayyy too cute for her own good!!<br><br><a href="http://fyrestormcreations.tripod.com/MDC/hippygirl.jpg" target="_blank">Hippychic</a><br><br><a href="http://fyrestormcreations.tripod.com/ebay/ravenc2pp.jpg" target="_blank">Little Miss Sunshine</a>
 

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She's beautiful! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I love her sling. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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My eyes teared up reading that. I am so so sorry. What a horrific experience. You are such a brave strong family. I am so glad that at least something got settled, although I am sure it is no consolation. Hugs to you mama.
 

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Oh my - unspeakable horrors for you, mama! Lots of <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> and many healing thoughts being sent your way. Your DD is so lucky to have you as a mama!
 

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i wish you peace and healing - and i am SO glad that they have to pay for what they did.
 

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What a powerful warrior for change in birth you are! I am so thrilled to hear of someone refusing to accept such human rights abuses and going back to fight the institution over it. I wish you much strength and love for your ongoing healing. Thank you for sharing and for enriching my Saturday afternoon! I feel re-inspired by your work <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I am crying and shaking after reading your story. I don't even have words... but I just want to say I am so sorry for what happend to you.
 

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I am so sorry this happened to you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
You are beyond strong, brave women. Thank you for standing up for yourself and for all of us.<br><br>
By the way, your daughter is ADORABLE!!!!! OMG is she cute<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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My lord, I am so grateful you are one strong, stroppy woman who didnt sit back and take this. You are awesome lady! You and your family. I am so terribly sorry for what you went through - it was sheer hell and no woman should ever go through that, but MAN did you fight back. I am so happy you won financial compensation and justice. I am sorry the memories are so strong for you - but what a rolemodel you are for your daughter.<br><br>
Be proud. You are no longer a victim but a S.U.R.V.I.V.O.R. I am so proud of you!
 
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