[Rollermommy]

Finally after 6 yrs. of horrible abuse my sister(and 3 kids) has decided to divorce her psychopath husband.

Hi I've never been on this forum before but I'm seeking advice for my sister. She is my best friend in the whole world and I would do anything to help her--but i live 900 miles away

She is a sahm who homeschools her 3 kids. I know she's probably going to have to put them back in public school, which is heartbreaking for her since they had so many problems there before, and she'll have to get a job of some sort. She only has a high school education so my thought was maybe she could go back to school and get a degree. My question is: I know there are a ton of resources out there, government programs, grants and such, but I have no idea where to even begin

: I want to show her that it is possible for her to make it on her own so she will go through with this divorce and get away from a terribly abusive relationship. Anyone know of these resources? Please help me help my sister. She deserves so much more than this.

 

[L.J.]

Hooray for your sister.
She is lucky to have you for a sister.
There have been threads on this board before about mom's who are still homeschooling even as single parents. You might want to check them out too. She may be able to continue.
If she found a program she'd like to start and find a school. There are also lots of programs that offer degrees through correspondance or online as well. Once she picks a course & school, then she can find the available grants, etc.
There are ways to make anything work. Continue to be support for her.

 

[the sunshine]

Good for her, I wish her the best!!

Where I live there are grants and programs for "displaced homemakers"--women getting divorced who have spent their time on their families instead of working. All you or she have to do is contact the financial aid office of whatever school she is interested in. They are generally very happy to help you find resources. And there are plenty of resources. Good luck!

 

[Dragonfly]

How wonderful for your sister, gaiamom

- such amazing strength!

Has she looked into University of Phoenix online? They have all sorts of degree programs that you do completely from home. If she could work that angle and get money for tuition and living expenses, then she could still be home with her kids. Here's a link:

University of Phoenix

Also, here is a link to a few good sites for financial aid information:

http://www.finaid.com/ http://www.collegeboard.com/

and for scholarships:

Fastweb

I also have found some great books in my public library. Some of them:

How To Go To College Almost for Free - Kaplan
The Complete Scholarship Book (put out by fastweb.com)
Free College and Training Money for Women - Lesko (this is an e-book)

There are many more... if her library doesn't have them, she can most likely get them through interlibrary loan. There are actually quite a few scholarships and grants for non-traditional, female students. And, then, there is always good 'ol Uncle Sam. If she divorces her husband and has no income, she'll undoubtedly qualify for Pell Grants. Then she can get Federal Stafford Loans for whatever tuition/living expenses the grants and scholarships do not cover.

It definitely would not hurt for her to go visit a financial aid counselor at a school (she should make sure that she calls ahead and makes an appointment with one of the head honchos.. otherwise, she may set herself up for a lot of frustration with the front office people who will likely be less than happy to help her if she isn't a student there). Even if she has no intention of going to that school, she'll get a good idea of what is involved in the process.

I think a good plan of attack, though, is to figure out the school and the degree program first and then work on financial aid. Worries about finding financial aid should not be a deterrent - there is definitely money out there, and the government is also pretty good about handing it out (and often even pay the interest for you while you're in school). And if she finds a school and degree program and gets accepted, then she'll have a whole office of people working to help her get the money she needs. It might take a little bit of kicking them in the butt, but in the end, they want the tuition money

.

Good luck to her - and good on you for being such an awesome sister! (And sorry if this is way too rambly... it's early and I'm only on my first cup of coffee).

 

[Satori]

I've only got a second here but yes life will change, depending on her state welfare may cover the cost of her schooling, childcare, transportation, food, medical and a few other things. I had to go on aid for a few months to finish school when the money ran out to soon becasue of unexpected circumstances and since I was already doing a program that way exceeded there program rules I basically got to bypass welfare to work but got all the perks of the program. They offered a lot of different training which was really awesome. I went though Employers Training Resource when I got laid off to find a job and ended up getting my $10k tuition paid through the state. And just like most college students what I do now has absolutely nothing to do with what I went to school for (MCSE) and my job doesn't pay any where near what I'm capable of making but I love my job and I don't see me leaving anytime soon! Anyway I looked into college for my mom when she left my dad 3 years ago and there were a lot of options for her as a "displaced homemaker" so your sis could spend a couple more years at home while she attends school and either finds a flexible employer or through the training she gets at school starts a home biz. Wow, that took way longer then I thought! I need to get to work, anyway where there's a will there's a way and good luck to your sis!

 

[magnoliablue]

I also ended an abusive relationship just about a year ago, and I have been a stay at home mom for the whole 11 years of the marriage. There are many resources out there. I am working part time and I haven't had need for childcare as of yet, but I know the abuse center where I live offers financial aid for childcare expenses, and yes, there are financial aid packages for women who are re-entering the work force and need further training to be employable. It has had its difficult moments. I have to work hard to get by some times, but the positive.. getting out of the abuse.. FAR outweighs anything you have to do to get there.. Support your sis any way you can, she will need it. The mental issues she will have to deal with alone, she will need you to talk to . Tell her again and again how strong she is.. they are the best words anyone has said to me, and though somedays being a single mom to three seems endless..lol.. I AM strong, and I can do anything.. and so can your sis.. Good luck to her!

 

[Moon Light Mama]

What a great sister you are to be there for her when she is having such a tough time.

I am also a mom to three kids, and I kicked my abusive husband out 18 months ago. Best you can do for her is to encourage her to attend school, especially something that she could make a living with immediately. There are all kinds of schools she could attend for 6 months to 1 year and even 2 years that would give her a diploma or licence to work and earn income soon.

Just a few to mention here:

LPN school, RN school, physical therapy school, massage school, ect.

Search any one of those keywords online and you will be lead to many other areas where a person can get educated and as soon as training is done, they will have an income.

I am in massage therapy school, and will have an income at the end of the six months (anywhere between $45 to $60 per hour per client).

Going to a condensed training course can be very tough, but it is tough for just a short time and then you can start earning once you have your license. The best way you can help your sis is to babysit for her (if you can) while she has to attend portions of her school that are outside of her normal childcare providers hours. That has been the hardest for me, and I have only three people to call on when I have to give a massage.

Without saying, she should apply for services from welfare/dhs so she can recieve food for her and the children, and some cash to pay for gasoline, soap and clothing. It's not much, but with luck, it will get her through.

What a great sister you are!

Moon Light Mama

 

[Rollermommy]

Thank you mama's for all your advice and support

I have refered my sis to this thread (she can check it at the library) so she can get the advice first hand from you guys. As far as babysitting goes, i would be more than willing to help but I live 16 hrs. away

Thanks again and hopefully she'll be on her way to freedom soon.