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i finally figured out what bugs the crap out of me about dh. in the course of a month there are a thousand little things like didn't do dishes; left cereal bowl; didn't make the call he promised
but the big overlying theme is i feel he lives like he's not part of a family. i feel like he doesn't get that his actions (like a cog) affects the rest of us.
for example - last wk he suddenly decided to work from home one day. not a bad thing in itself. but what if instead of just spontaneously doing it, he told me about it even the night before. i could have looked at picking up a small class for myself or arranging my errands since he was able to keep dd home.
yesterday he sat on the couch watching tv for over an hour (long story but in part doing this for elevating his leg). that's fine. after that he's over on the computer watching movie trailers for quite a while. i'm all in favor of relaxing time, but i swear you give this guy ten minutes of nothing to do and all he can think of doing are the thigns HE WANTS to do - ie computer or tv. never a thought of something like do a quick pick up of the living room, clean out the fridge, etc.
i was gone for three hours yesterday a.m. when dd first gets up she doesn't need a lot of care other than some food. he made her toast. so in three hours he spent five on making toast; maybe 20 on loading the dishwasher. the rest was on the computer for self-serving things. not looking up kindergartens, not reading about homeschooling which we're considering, not in planning our trip to PA in November.
in the course of a weekend day he will easily do five or six hours of computer time, all for his entertainment only (what's the word for things that feel good - hedonistic?). and when he can't do that, the tv is on. last night dd had just stopped watching her show and he had it back on twenty minutes later, without regard for the rest of us sitting here. i swear there's a mandate against quiet in the house!
he was interviewing this week for a job that isn't going to come through. i now have a connection in a different state and they would love to see his resume and get him hooked up. he won't do it why? i didn't like the area, its flat. We as a family are denied to even look into a new job/new home because he doesn't like nebraska being flat.
we can't afford housing around here, we can't find him a new job around here, we can't make the current housing "work" because of its size and our clutter (not that he ever does anything to really try either. any thoughts of rearranging etc. are mine. he's happy to sit and say it sucks, it sucks, it sucks - but never actually change anything about it) and now we're denied to even look into this opportunity because he hates the geography
i dont see anyway to get someone to "think globally" as it were. lord save me if I mention the computer (i get "you do it too" for a reply).
but the big overlying theme is i feel he lives like he's not part of a family. i feel like he doesn't get that his actions (like a cog) affects the rest of us.
for example - last wk he suddenly decided to work from home one day. not a bad thing in itself. but what if instead of just spontaneously doing it, he told me about it even the night before. i could have looked at picking up a small class for myself or arranging my errands since he was able to keep dd home.
yesterday he sat on the couch watching tv for over an hour (long story but in part doing this for elevating his leg). that's fine. after that he's over on the computer watching movie trailers for quite a while. i'm all in favor of relaxing time, but i swear you give this guy ten minutes of nothing to do and all he can think of doing are the thigns HE WANTS to do - ie computer or tv. never a thought of something like do a quick pick up of the living room, clean out the fridge, etc.
i was gone for three hours yesterday a.m. when dd first gets up she doesn't need a lot of care other than some food. he made her toast. so in three hours he spent five on making toast; maybe 20 on loading the dishwasher. the rest was on the computer for self-serving things. not looking up kindergartens, not reading about homeschooling which we're considering, not in planning our trip to PA in November.
in the course of a weekend day he will easily do five or six hours of computer time, all for his entertainment only (what's the word for things that feel good - hedonistic?). and when he can't do that, the tv is on. last night dd had just stopped watching her show and he had it back on twenty minutes later, without regard for the rest of us sitting here. i swear there's a mandate against quiet in the house!
he was interviewing this week for a job that isn't going to come through. i now have a connection in a different state and they would love to see his resume and get him hooked up. he won't do it why? i didn't like the area, its flat. We as a family are denied to even look into a new job/new home because he doesn't like nebraska being flat.
we can't afford housing around here, we can't find him a new job around here, we can't make the current housing "work" because of its size and our clutter (not that he ever does anything to really try either. any thoughts of rearranging etc. are mine. he's happy to sit and say it sucks, it sucks, it sucks - but never actually change anything about it) and now we're denied to even look into this opportunity because he hates the geography
i dont see anyway to get someone to "think globally" as it were. lord save me if I mention the computer (i get "you do it too" for a reply).
