[TRIBE]

I don't post here but I do read a lot. I have been struggling for years to really go GD, calm down on the yelling and stop spanking (no flames please). I don't like spanking, it kills me but (and this is NOt an excuse just telling my story) when it's all you know and you have reached your limit...it just seemed to happen too easily.

Over the last few weeks I have been working extremly hard to retrain myself. And its amazing how much calmer my house is, how much my children actually listen when we are being respectful of each other. For more than 2 weeks now I think I have only yelled twice and there have been no spankings in over 3 weeks.

Now my kids are not perfect, they still run wild if we take too long in the grocery store and they still tell me no. But we are coexisting so much better. I can finally see the results (other times we tried alternative discipline techniques the results were usually not pretty) and they are GOOD. I am working to make this a democratic household, respectful of each other. I can see it moving along in that way.

I don't think I would have ever had the strength or resolve to move this way if not for all the posts in this forum.

 

[WuWei]

Jenniebug, I am glad that you and your home are feeling more peaceful. This is one of my favorite threads by Sledg about self-care and listening to ourselves when we find ourselves yelling to have our needs met. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hlight=yelling Her posts really help to break the cycle of "shoulds" inside my head.

Pat

 

[Tonia80]

I think it is awesome you are concentrating on this so hard. I am also. DH left our home recently and I could see how it was effecting my kids so I have been VERY aware of how I speak to them and handle discipline and have really been amazed at the change in thier behaviors this past week. It DOES take alot of awareness and reminding myself for sure. Being home all day with three spirited boys makes it hard for my first instinct to always be one of love and calmness. But the more I do it teh easier it becomes.

 

[TRIBE]

thats a great post by sledg, thanks for sharing

tonia I think that is one of the biggest motivating factors for me right now is that dh just left for 6 mths. I don't want to upset the kids anymore than they have already been and this is the best way I knew to make things...I dunno...better? I find its definetly easier to transition to this without dh and hopefully he will find it easier when he gets home once he sees how well everyone works together and co-exist respectfully. It was way too stressful to go this route while he was home as his patience is nill and I was constantly having to remind him that many of the things the kids did that angered him were just the kids being normal kids and to lay off.

I would love to have 3 spirited boys

I have 3 of those plus 2 spirited girls, one of which is a very demanding 16 mth old lol