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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DH did file for divorce, and I think I told you he said he wanted full custody and intended to declare me an unfit mother. Hah. We had a talk on Saturday when he came over to get his mail, and last night he wrote me saying he's decided not to seek custody! Praise God!! Not that he would have a chance of winning, and I think that he would have looked really bad in court, especially after the way he's treated me for all of my pregnancy and all I've been through, but I am thrilled we won't have to battle it out. It would have cost him an arm and a leg, and I'm guessing he probably realized that. Not to mention he doesn't have a way to take care of a child.

So my burdens just got a bit lighter and now I can really enjoy being pregnant and preparing for my little girl!


Incidentally, DH says he's quitting marriage counseling (after only 3 sessions), because "it doesn't seem to be doing any good". I've been expecting this from the beginning, and actually see it as a good sign because my friend who's husband (also in the Navy) wanted to divorce her last year did all the same things DH has been doing in just exactly the same order. They got back together 2 days before their divorce was final. So I'm still believing God can fix this. I'm also not worried if we end up divorced because I'm enjoying being independent again, feeling/functioning better on the Lexapro, and I'm learning from my mistakes, so I have hope of a better relationship in the future. If I ever do remarry, it'll be on the condition we go through the counseling BEFORE the wedding, though.
 

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ddc crashing. Just wanted to say Ive been following your story and some of your posts and know that I have btdt so if you ever want someone to talk to please feel free to PM me. Having said that, your post seems very upbeat and that this is actually a positive move for you. (at least that is what I pick up on) Im glad it is easing the burden.
 

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As someone who was on The One Thread with you, I've also followed your story and am first of all, so glad that he has decided not to pursue custody. I am also really happy that you seem to be feeling more positive and peaceful about the whole mess--I know it must hurt like hell but now at least you know you have your daughter...I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this.
 

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It sounds like even though things have been rough that you may have turned a corner. I hope you are able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy from here on out!
 

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I'm sorry that you are even having to deal with all of this right now, but the last thing you needed was a fight for your own daughter. I'm so glad that you can have some peace in expecting your little bundle. Take care of yourself, as it sounds like you have been doing so well.
kind regards,
 

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I'm sorry he isn't coming around like you'd wished. I hope things work out for the best, whatever that may be. I'm also really happy he isn't going through with the custody battle.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Honestly, I'm not going to be too hurt if he goes through with the divorce. I'll have to find a job in spite of my physical limitations, but I love living in Indiana (former California girl), and I have a ton of support here from friends and some of them are people I'd never met before who heard about me through a friend and stepped up to take care of me all this time when I was bedridden and DH was neglecting me. I am grateful for all the help I've had getting through this, and now that I'm mobile again, I'm really enjoying getting out and getting to know people better.

I think DH may need time and distance (he'll be stationed in SC a few months after baby comes) to realize what he's done. I'm guessing he won't really see how much of this is his fault until he moves on to another relationship and experiences similar dynamics.

Our divorce won't be final until after baby is born, so he still has some time to change his mind. At this point, I'm still praying that he will, but mainly for the sake of our daughter.
 

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to you and little girl
I'm so glad you are feeling better and getting stronger and REALLY glad he has stopped with the "going to take the baby" threats. It's hard to be a single momma but least the military will make sure he pays child support if the divorce goes though. Wishing you the best
 

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I'm so glad that you have atleast part of the burden off your shoulders now.
It is craptastic that you have been dealing with so much at once but it really sounds like your faith in God and attitude are going to get you through this. I'll be praying for you and hoping that everything gets easier/better from here.
 

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Just wanted to say that I am so happy you won't have to worry about a custody battle
God does answer prayers, so keep praying!! Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Hi Mommabean! My back is doing great! So glad I had a spinal fusion! It's been exactly 2 mos since surgery, and I can put my socks on now, pick things up off the floor occasionally, and so far no pain at all except a little residual sciatica nerve pain that just feels like soreness on and off, mostly at night. My incision is still healing, but another week or two and it will be totally done. How's your back holding up with the third trimester?
 

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I'm so sorry to hear that your husband might go through with the divorce but very much admire your strength and positive outlook. I hope things work out for the best, whatever that may be and will continue to keep you and your sweet, baby girl in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck in all things!
 

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I am doing amazingly well! It is the most awesome experience to go through a pregnancy with NO back irritations! But I am thankful that I at least got one pregnancy free of any irritations and for it to be perfect!

Just ready to get things done around the house, and it's insane to actually be able to help move things around and help with the house still!
 
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