my ex and are try to get along but it is frustrating that we still have alot of the same issues to deal with after separating. he is not working alot now and not able(?) to help me financially, and the kids are with me most of the time. he takes the older two 2-21/2 days and the little one while i work(usually 7 hours two days a week) i try so hard not to feel like the stereotypical single mom who has no help, i try to appreciate what he does(working with me to arrange transportation, mostly for the little one while i work beacuse neither of us have a vehicle, consistently taking the older ones each week, being somewhat accomodating if there is something i need to do where i would need him to take the kids) and know that it is unrealistic to expect perfect equality(how would you measure that anyways?) . i cant really talk about how i feel to anyone, well i do have a few people, but most automatically assume they know how it feels to be me and dealing with someone like him, y'know, like sometimes i feel like im reading about myself in a magazine article or something it is a story weve all heard before, but godammit i want to write a new ending. i want to have realistic expectations and i want him to have a chance at something better too. but i want him to give more and realize that i cant wait for his help. my brother suggested that I sit down and figure out the bare minimum of what i expect from him. bare minimum. but i always think in terms of what he can give. for example right now he is tattooing 2 days a week, he lives way off a bus line, out in the (almost) country, no car so i realize that it may take some time for him to get to the point where he can help me with money, but am i being too soft? i mean why am i worrying about him when ive got my own worries? i care and i dont want to fight and i really do want us all to be happy. i just dont see how me being a hardass will help the situation and i also do not know what i have the right to expect. thanks for listening. guess i really need to do some hardcore thinking about this.