[Attached Mama]

It's hard!! Now that dd is 3, all the older kids are in school. We plan to homeschool. She is just light years ahead of other kids her age. At play groups with kids her age or a bit older she just plays by herself. Give her kids 2 or 3 yrs older and she has a grand time pretending elaborate things with them. Having just moved to a new community, it's very frustrating! All the homeschoolers I've found are teens - a bit too much of an age gap there lol

 

[mommy2abigail]

YES! Us too. Not only is she hearing about EVERYone going off to school (at age 3 no less!) but she also wont play with the few three year olds that we do see during the day. I can't explain it, it's not like she WONT play with them, but she plays SO much MORE with her older friends (5, 7, and 8). I don't know. We can't join any homeschooling groups yet, since we aren't officially doing it. So, we spend lots of time interacting with adults. Which is a good thing I guess, but I would like for her to play and be imaginative more often. On average she sees her older friends 3 times a week.

 

[Attached Mama]

Wow! Three times a week sounds good to me

I think your doing great mama! But yes, I know exactly what you mean about everyone going to school at age 3.

 

[MeadowAndColtsMama]

Yup. Dd is 2.5 in a week and she has little friends really close in age, one 4 months older, two within weeks of her age. She adores them, and any stimulation from other kids, as big brother is in school all day, and she's left with tired, very pregnant me.

It is sad though, because only one of them is on par with her, verbally, physically (potty-trained) and cognitively. I feel like she's trying to explain things to them. And they are just babyish for lack of a better word. Which is fine, they are babies. She does seek out older kids, at the park, library, etc. So I am about to enroll her in a preschool, they have to be 2.5. She will start after winter break.

I'm so happy for her. Just two mornings a week, 9 to 11:30. She just craves the social stuff. I've felt so sad watching her at home, pretending elaborate things. So I hope this will be a really fun outlet for her. The ages in the class go to 5! I think she'll do great. We'll see!

 

[tanyalynn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommy2abigail We can't join any homeschooling groups yet, since we aren't officially doing it.

Do your local homeschooling groups have rules about this? I'm part of a great group and nobody cares that neither of my kids is school-aged yet. It really helped my daughter (she just turned 5 last week) get over the idea that everyone goes to school and she should get to as well--but it's less helpful if your local groups are strict about age requirements.

And there seems to be a higher density of gifted kids, so that has helped with friends and play as well.

 

[greenmamapagan]

Yep, it can be tough. For the record, I'm not labelling my DD as gifted but she is advanced in many ways. DD is 2.5 and interestingly in the past 6 weeks or so (so really quite a recent development) has begun to experiment with "finding the level" of the kids around us and having more satisfying interactions with them. She still has a much better time if we are with older kids though. Her "best" friend is 5.5 and they adore each other.
I would definitely seek out home-schooling groups. We've been lucky in that our AP playgroup provided us with peers 3-12 months older than DD from when we joined at 6 weeks old but as most of them start to head off to preschool (usually starts the calendar year after they turn 3 here) home-school groups have been our saviour. We are also planning to home-school and I initially sought out those groups because I felt like I needed to make connections before we started but it has been a boon for her. All of her strongest friendships are from the natural learning/unschooling groups we've been along to.

 

[carmel23]

Contact the homeschool groups. Ask if they have a park day when you can visit and just play. Most homeschool children don't group themselves by age, and will play with anyone around

. And it is never too early to join. I bring my 4 year-old and baby to hs group, even though they aren't school aged... I think that this is really one of the best arguments for the goodness of homeschool socialization .

 

[Diane B]

I think a little of it might be age-related too. A lot of three year olds aren't terribly great at playing with other children exactly their age - their social skills are pretty terrible - and being with somewhat older children with better skills makes it go much more smoothly. This was our experience, at least. Now that my daughter is closer to 5, she plays fine with children chronologically younger or developmentally younger. It's like she knows how to calibrate to different levels.

I was able to get her in on an informal after school care situation with a 6 and 7 year old one afternoon each week, and that's going really great too - they are much more at her level developmentally and I can see her really enjoying that environment. And her "best friend" right now is a very bright adult friend of ours who's in her early 50's. They do wonderful imaginative play together!

 

[Attached Mama]

Haha! *love* the 50 yr old friend

No, she doesn't know so much how to calibrate to different children's levels, but it's more than that. She wants to pretend things with other kids and the younger kids just want to do their own thing - and by "younger" I guess I mean many kids her age too. Some are ok with pretend play but many just want to take whatever toy is in somoene else's hand still and run with it lol