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Hi all,

I had an extremely violent birth experience with my little one...I went very overdue...really only had the choice between a section or an induction (certainly didn't have the confidence to have a homebirth at the time). Anyway during my labor I spiked a very high temp and my little guy went into distress long story and a very out of control pitocin labor later I ended up with an emergency section after having planned a natural birth with a midwife anyway...We are feeling ready to grow our family and I know that another spirit is waiting to join our family but I also know that i need to heal from my birth experience with my first child before our second child will come through...I would love to hear how others have healed from negative birth experiences and what tools they have used to hold the space for a new spirit to enter a wounded womb

with great joy and gratitude
-Lori
 

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Well, I would say keep talking about it, keep processing it. Get a journal and write it all out. I will say that my first birth was very difficult for me. I had planned a natural intervention free birth that ended in a csection. I did a lot of processing still during my second pregnancy. I labored the second time and ultimately needed a csection the second time as well. I will say that while not my ideal, since I had done the work from my first birth I was able to have more acceptence and easier physical and emotional healing the second time....even though the birth itself didn't turn out as I had wanted.

It stings to have a difficult birth experience. Im sorry you are having to walk through it.
 

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I would highly recommend the book Birthing From Within . The first half of the book is all about processing past birth experiences so you can move on and truly experience your next birth. The second half of the book is more about techniques you can use in labor etc. There are tons of stories about women like yourself and how they were able to overcome the grief of their first labor. Good luck and I wish you well
 

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I agree with the recommendation for "Birthing From Within", and finding positive stories to read about women who have overcome traumatic birth experiences and gone on to find peace and acceptance within themselves.
It can be helpful to talk about your experience, especially with other women who feel the same trauma associated with their own births.
There was a thread started recently here on MDC for women who needed that space to process things and find support to heal. You can read it here.
The suggestion to begin a journal to write about your birth is a good one. Sometimes we feel less hindered writing about our experiences rather than sharing them openly.
I hope you can find the peace you need to move forward when you are ready. It's my belief that the spirit of the child that has chosen you will wait until you are completely ready to welcome him (which may be earlier than you feel you are "ready").
Best of luck and happy birthing vibes for the future.
 

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I agree with pp and would add the book "An Easier Childbirth- A Mother's Workbook for Health and Emotional Well-being during Pregnancy and Delivery" by Gayle Peterson. You need the workbook, not the book. It is out of print I think, but you can sometimes find it on ebay or half.com.

It is wonderful that you working this hard to integrate your past birth into your future experiences. I am sure this is a reflection of your mothering.
 

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Do just what you have begin doing here... talk about it. Talk with other moms who can be empathetic. Also, if you want a different kind of birth next time (i.e. homebirth after prior hospital) learn all you can about that sort of birth. Get good books all about the beauty and postives of that kind of birth so you have that as your focus and can get excited about it.

If you are really feeling like you have some post traumatic stress, seek counselling with a sympathetic practitioner such as a midwife, experienced doula, etc. Here is hoping you have a better time next time! Good luck
 

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Telling your birth story to anyone who will listen - as many times as they will listen - and letting yourself cry about it, get angry about it... and then resolve that it is part of what makes you who you are today. Sometimes the best things come out of the most terrible ones... and when we know better we do better... you can't blame that self that was in that time for the decisions made, just know you won't make the same ones.

I suggest (highly) Birthing From Within as well... I read it and cried and was sad and assured and empowered... it's a very good book and worthy of the suggestions here. I skipped a lot of the touchy-feely project parts, but only b/c I just didn't want to do them... and I felt the book was still very powerful.

I still sometimes cry about the scary birth I had (or at least feel sad) 4 years after the fact... but I also know that's part of why I am a doula and will be a midwife, why I believe in birth and am as passionate about it as I am. I wish I knew then what I know now - but it's b/c of then that I know what I know now.

Also, for me I was just recently able to talk about it with the MW who attended me (until we transfered) and it was very good... I felt the space enough from the experience to not blame (as I know I hold much of it myself anyways) and really I felt like that was yet another step to walk out the "water under the bridge" part of my baby's birth.

Don't ever feel you have to stop telling the story or are over reacting in your emotions... letting them out gives room to heal.
~Julie
 

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Also ignore all of the people that will tell you all that matters is that you and the baby are healthy. It is ok to grieve because you lost something important to you...
 

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have regarding your birth could be solved if you read the book from cover to cover. it has so many good suggestions and does a good job of leading you through the process of setting everything right again.

I had everything go wrong but still ended up with a fantastic hospital birth but still had a lot to work through. I found the book to be very helpful in narrowing down my issues...taking everything from the very general to what my specific concerns and throughts were.
 

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I think this is definitely a step in the right direction. Just typing it, telling people about it, writing about it -- even talking about it in the car when (if) you're by yourself -- will be helpful.

I had a wonderful hospital birth, followed by a birth center birth that was NOT how I had hoped/planned. I really had to work on it and process it -- I ended up conversing with my doula a year later about what I didn't like about it, and that was helpful. Someday I plan to have a homebirth.
 
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