Mothering Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
6,303 Posts
What an interesting excercise. OK, I hope I'm answering the question right.

I am another of mixed herritage. My whole family is pretty new to the united states, my grandparents immigtrated here in the 30's and my mother came here in 1970, right before my birth. My whole life I have gotten the questions "what are you?" or "where are you from". Growing up most people thought I was Mexican or Italian, but I am neither. My mother is scandinavian and my father is Jewish. I'm not sure where exactly his family is from since from looking back at records it seems they were on the run or something for a while, you see them in Germany, then Russia, here and there, but undoubtedly semitic. When I see people from Iran, that is who my dad and aunt, uncle and grandparents look like. It is likely they came from that way, but I don't know from where exactly. When I look at myself, in the mirror like in the question, I see a woman. A strong pretty Jewish woman. I have olive skin, high cheekbones from my mom, dark features, big eyes. Sometimes I don't feel pretty at all, sometimes I take too much notice of the dark circles under my eyes, or the weird hump on my nose.

When I was growing up I got teased alot (what kid didn't though) about how I looked - or about my name/herritage as the kids got older and more sophisticated. I was shunned from the regular white kids and now as an adult since I am put in the white box and seen by most people as just a white person I feel really defensive and uncomfortable about it. I have grown up with a deep resentment towards whites, not as individuals but as the group called "white". And now being told I am white, it gives me all kinds of uncomfortable feelings. My husband called me white the other day and it totally. freaked. me. out! My son is from a native american dad and we were talking about the zillion boxes he could check and then DH said something to him and I heard him say "Kalebh, your mom is white. She's white". It sank my heart. I don't know why. It makes me uncomfortable feeling like other people might think I am one of "them". But that is just wrong. I shouldn't think of them as "them".

People still ask me all the time "what I am". But when it comes down to it I know I am still seen as part of the white group, the majority.
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top