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What an interesting discussion and such amazing responses!

I am white. I have blue eyes, freckles and hair that used to be blond, but is now almost black. As for community, I have never had one. I don't belong to the mainstream American white community, because they have values that I do not share. But I am also not a minority and have never been discriminated against because of my race. The only group of people with whom I have felt affinity are people who chose to travel internationally and work with emigres in the US, regardless of color or language. They seemed to understand my need to explore other cultures, question the values of my own country and see beyond my own doorstep. Now that I am a parent and a SAHM, I have no community but DH and DS. We are our own tribe of 3, trying to foster bilingualism, respect and love.

As I have read these responses and tried to formulate my own, I caught myself trying to make my story more interesting than it really is -- I was raised by a dark skinned Italian, we lived on a commune, I was born in a redwood grove. Although these are all true and they did help form who I am today, they are the incidents that I look for when I try to disassociate myself with being white, because being white to me means being privileged, being racist, taking things for granted. And these are not things that I want for myself, although I know they are all true.

As for how others would describe me, they would say white. An observant person might say that I turn a vicious pink in the sun. Mainly, they would just dismiss my color, which is, I guess, the luxury of being white.

(As an aside, DS is blond with big blue eyes. Some adults stare at him with a sort of longing. I thought it was because he stays close and is well behaved in public, but now I am wondering if it has more to do with his looks. I have noticed some people perk up and pay more attention to him when I take his hat off in the park and they notice his blond hair. This is a alarming to me, because I was the blond, blue-eyed child who received too much praise for her looks when I was little and heard too many stories about this as I got older.)
 
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