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Discussion Starter #1
Ok, my dd is in first grade and is going on a field trip to a local farm tomorrow and i signed up to go along...well i asked the teacher via email if i could bring along dd siblings...ds 13 y/o and ds 29 month's..i homeschool ds 13..so going to the farm would be a great expierence for everyone...i emailed dd teacher and wrote this:<br><br>
Ms. teacher,<br><br>
dd has told me that only parents are able to come<br>
join on Wednesday, are siblings not allowed to come? I know that Patterson's<br>
welcome's siblings, does the school have a policy about that? If you could<br>
find out that would be great...I would like to bring dd's brothers along<br>
on Wednesday too. Thanks<br><br>
This is what she replied:<br>
It is school policy that siblings are not allowed to come. I have one parent that has gotten a babysitter for her other children so she could come. It would not be fair for me to allow other siblings to come. This is not my rule, but school rule. Patterson Farm does welcome siblings. If you bring them, you will not be able to stay with the group. If you bring them and take dd with you, she will be counted as absent for the day as she is not with the class. I am sorry. Again this is not my policy, but the school's policy.<br><br>
Thank you,<br><br>
So what do you all think? I have had run in's with this teacher about several things before and i think this is just a continum of that...She how she wrote that it would not be fair if she let one come and not the other...then she writes it's school policy...I called the Farm and they welcome siblings so why could i not take my children with me...i was thinking just to keep her home and we all go on our own field trip somewhere else....is that being to over the top? I am a sahm and we do not do "babysitters" Help please
 

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Personally? If it were me, I would say "In that case, I won't be able to come along as I signed up to do -- I do not have childcare for her siblings." And then let her go with her class. I wouldn't escalate your pre-existing conflict with the teacher; I guess I don't see "no siblings" as a horrible policy for the school to have.
 

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Are you supposed to be watching some of the other 1st graders? Maybe that is part of it. I also think there could be liability issues if one of the sibs got injured while being part of the school group - I dunno. I think it is a pretty common policy though. We've got some weird one where I can't drive my own child on a field trip unless I've given proof of insurance and registration. I guess another liability issue, but kind of annoying. But I wouldn't blame the teacher - it probably is school policy.
 

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I'd keep DD home for the day and go to the farm with the family at a time other than the school field trip, or have a family field trip elsewhere,
 

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Regardless of your past experiences with the teacher, you should check with the school office about the sibling/field trip policy. It does make sense to me - if you're supposed to be chaperoning and helping keep 20+ 1st graders safe, then they do have the right to ask you not to bring along other children that will take your energy and effort. I know it's frustrating, but the schools do have to make rules like these to keep the kids safe.
 

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I would just let your daughter go on the field trip with her class and stay home with your other kids.
 

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Our school does not allow sibs on field trips either. Basically, it's because as official chaperones, we need to watch a group of 1st graders.<br><br>
Additionally, it's a liability issue with the school.<br><br>
I completely understand the sibling issue. It's unfortunate you didn't find out whether siblings are invited until the day before the trip, but I understand the policy.<br><br>
I would try to find a sitter, esp. if the teacher is depending on you being there in her ratio.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: I've never seen a school that did allow sibs.
 

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Honestly, if my first grader was in your group on a field trip and I found out that in addition to supervising your assigned group you were also trying to keep up with 2 additional kids of your own, I would not be happy. I would either find a sitter or stay home and let someone else take your place as chaperone.
 

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In my little boy's school, parents are welcome to come along (in their own cars) with sibs, but they can't be considered chaperones because they are assumed to be watching the younger sibs. They can't be counted in the head count of kids Vs adults becuase of the added sib heads.<br><br>
So...I always go along, but understand I am not a 'official' chaperone. I always felt ok with that, as I really could not care for the school children fully if I were needing to watch my little ones.<br><br>
The bus situation is for insurance/liability issues. In case of accident, only the children enrolled in the school are covered. The insurance company sets this, not the school admin.<br><br>
I know it's a pita, but it's really not personal. I would encourage you to go and enjoy your child and the trip. Even if you are not an 'official' chaperone, I am sure your extra eyes will be a huge help.
 

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Don't keep your DD home. She knows about the field trip and is probably excited about it. It's not fair to keep her home over school policy.<br><br>
Let her go, stay home yourself.<br><br>
Jenn
 

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Call the principle and ask him/her. Personally any school trip were me and my other child is not allowed to go on is one that wont be taken by my kid. I am not sure how old dd or ds will have to be before I am comfortable sending them on a school trip without me there. But for now even first grade feels to young to allow that.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Finding a siter is not an option....if i did go on the trip then i would have to pull dd away from the class and we would do our own thing....then she would be counted absent...according to the teacher....oh this is to much for me right now....i just dont want to disapoint dd because i can't go....then if we do go it will be like we are on our own....geez i hate that i found out about it at the last minute...Sorry...i'm just stressing because it's tomorrow and i still dont have a clue what to do...maybe i should just tell dd about the sibling rule and offer to come eat luch with her another day or go on our own field trip one day....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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I agree with others. Let her go. I'm sure your 13 y o is great, but I would have felt a little weird when dss was in first grade to know that teenagers who were unknown to the teacher were going on the field trip with my little ones. I'm sure it is insurance issues. I did take my little ds on a trip with older dss, but it was a walking field trip and the teacher told me I could push ds his stroller. Now that I think about it, we were probably breaking school policy. Would I rush into the street to pick up someone else's kid while holding my baby? I hope so <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> .
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Mamato3wild ponnie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7943852"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Finding a siter is not an option....if i did go on the trip then i would have to pull dd away from the class and we would do our own thing....then she would be counted absent...according to the teacher....oh this is to much for me right now....i just dont want to disapoint dd because i can't go....then if we do go it will be like we are on our own....geez i hate that i found out about it at the last minute...Sorry...i'm just stressing because it's tomorrow and i still dont have a clue what to do...maybe i should just tell dd about the sibling rule and offer to come eat luch with her another day or go on our own field trip one day....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:</div>
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If you want to go, and your dd wants you to go, go. At out school we often have a couple parent/sib cars follwoing the field trip buses. ( I am ASSuming you have access to a car). Pay your own way in, and let them know in a friendly way you can be an additional pair of eyes if they are needed.<br><br>
Be upbeat, and offer no exlpalinations other than. "I know I can't be an official chaperone because of my little one, but I really wanted to offer my services and come along . Please let me know if you might need me".<br><br>
At our school, this is **very** common in the early years. Be postivie and go. Yo are not the first mother of a first grader to go along on a filed trip with a little sib. Not by a loooooooooong shot.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Flor</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7943879"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I agree with others. Let her go. I'm sure your 13 y o is great, but I would have felt a little weird when dss was in first grade to know that teenagers who were unknown to the teacher were going on the field trip with my little ones. o .</div>
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Forgive, but that's ridiculous. If the field trip is in a museum, there are people from the public there. It's not all about one class.<br><br>
There is nothing wrong with a child being in a public place. This is *farm*, and I am sure there are other people at this farm... a 13 yr old is not the boogie man.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>UUMom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7943980"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Forgive, but that's ridiculous. If the field trip is in a museum, there are people from the public there. It's not all about one class.<br><br>
There is nothing wrong with a child being in a public place. This is *farm*, and I am sure there are other people at this farm... a 13 yr old is not the boogie man.</div>
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I was thinking about the bus and such. I wouldn't like it, but I tend to be over protective.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Flor</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7944003"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I was thinking about the bus and such. I wouldn't like it, but I tend to be over protective.</div>
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The kid can't be on the bus, no matter. No school allows sibs not enrolled in schools on their transportation.<br><br>
And yeah, it's a bit overprotective to fear a sib on a bus filled with parents of first graders. But we all have our ghosts.
 

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I would not be excited about some of DD's classmate's siblings going on a field trip with her - I've seen them and some of them are quite the handful for their parents!<br><br>
If parents are coming along to supervise the class along with the teacher, I wouldn't want them to also have their other children to watch as well. It's awful to find out at the last minute that your other children can't come as well, but I would talk with DD and let her help decide what you do tomorrow.
 

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Just to clarify: I'm not afraid of a 13 yo, it's just that my young child does not feel comfortable playing around big kids. If we go to the park and there is bunch of 12/13/14 yos onthe playground, he doesn't want to play because he gets pushed around, they run too fast, are so much bigger, use language that he doesn't like, etc. and their parents are there. Now, one 13 yo maybe isn't a problem, but if several parents were bringer older sibs along, I wouldn't like it. My kid wouldn't like it. As a teacher, I wouldn't be comfortable bringing older (or even younger) kids that didn't know our signals and expectations. Some kids would be great, others don't listen to their own moms.<br><br><br>
I swear my 12 y o just said, "Can I go to the pool tonight? Unless there is a bunch of highschoolers there." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 
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