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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have wanted to start this thread for awhile but I was not sure really what I wanted to say any different than what we already share in other threads. It is such an amazing time to be getting so close to birth and not having any previous experiences and everything is so new, exiting, daunting, all of it! I just wanted us to have a place to be sure to share it and know we are not alone in these feelings! Even though we have all these very experienced, wizened mamas to share and learn from!

@mamamargo! Totally thinking about you! How are you holding up? Are you getting reprieve from heat and able to enjoy any last moments yo might have before baby comes? I hope you're doing great! Such an amazing time-standing-still once you have passed that due date!
@BarefootBrooke, You were just mentioning feeling so turned around since you have no control! What an icebreaker for parenthood! I love hearing about this. It sucks doesn't it?!
@catladymeow, did I read somewhere you saying that you have not enjoyed pregnancy? I am so glad that you are so close to being done!! I hope that getting done with work gives you some time to have a different experience or at least, relief to rest and get a massage!

Anyway, there are a bunch of us first timers some I have on mind, some I probably don't and would love to hear from. What is your experience? How are you doing given all the excitement and unknowns and everything? How is your partner and family handling all this newness?
 

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I'm not a FTM, but I'm soooooo excited for those of you who are!! :love I can't wait to hear all about your births! I'm glad you started this thread, @Wild Rose , so I can peek in on all of you!
 

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Thanks for starting this thread! I can't believe I am 39 weeks, 2 days. I sort of feel like a ticking time bomb of birth. I feel like this whole process has been such a roller coaster. I was so full of myself before getting pregnant. I just thought I would rock it so hard. 65 pounds later and multiple emotional breakdowns later.....I have learned that lesson. I bled for the first 16 weeks which was so incredibly hard. And then had many weeks of awesome, really easy pregnancy. The came the whole breech situation which wrecked me for a while. Now I am at the end. It's crazy. I am really excited to meet the baby but also pretty nervous about all of the changes to come in life.

One of the things I am a bit nervous about is nursing. I am excited and have always thought this would come naturally but I also thought that about being pregnant. I would love some advice from ladies who have had great success with it. Just wondering what tips people have for getting started initially.
 

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I am not a FTM either, but I can tell you for sure that the day my first daughter was born, it was as if my whole life made sense. Starting a family was the best decision we ever made, and we've never thought twice about it, it just has always felt SO right, even when it was SO hard. I am so excited for all of you to have that first moment when you see your baby outside your body and the stars align and the world becomes clearer and everything is better, no matter the process of the birth or anything else, you have this moment of clarity. It's amazing:yellow_heart::yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

@rcb215 I had a horrible time nursing with my first, and actually ended up unable to get her to latch after the first week, and then spent the next 14 months pumping every three hours so she could be exclusively breastfed....and then went on to nurse my second until she was 3 1/2 and I was pregnant with number 3, whom I am still (reduced, but still!) nursing while pregnant with number 4.

I had flat nipples, a csection, tongue tied baby (which no one could agree on how to handle that) holiday weekend staffing in the hospital, engorgement, and so many other ridiculous "boobytraps" and I was so nervous with my second that I wouldn't be able to nurse her, and the best thing my midwife said was "give it a minute". She had faith, and it restored my faith in myself. Seek out help (LLL, WIC in my area has certified lactation counsellors, and even if you aren't on WIC, someone may be able to help you, the hospital LCs are sometimes helpful, although usually very busy, check with any natural parenting stores and see if they know of anyone, any groups etc)

I am a CLC, and I absolutely love helping friends, and friends of friends and anyone who needs it because it was so valuable to me! I'm sure there are people who can help you, too. There are also lots of great resources online: theleakyboob, badass breastfeeder, best for babes foundation...off the top
Of my head :)
 

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FTM here too! 38w 5d! I'm not sick of being pregnant as so many people keep asking.... But I am getting excited to meet our little guy! I'm not great with unknowns and since birth is one big unknown - when it will happen, how long it will last, what your body is capable of, etc. I'm starting to get nervous!! I think not knowing will work to my advantage in I don't know what pain to expect, but nervous about managing it. Nervous about how my husband and I will do going thorough this together, hoping I'm not putting too much expectations on him, but really looking forward to doing this together!

Also feel like this child has a lot of expectations on him already! First grand baby all the way around. Trying to get used to that he's not just my baby, but my parents grandchild, in-laws grandchild, brother in laws nephew, etc. I think I will want to not share him lol!

And trying to get used to my personal space and house getting invaded by lots of well meaning people afterwards....
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I am so happy that you all are getting into this. it is really fun to hear and relate to this new experience right now.

I am not really tired of pregnancy either. Other than the complaining I'll do, mostly in my head and here.... I am content with the time we have left as 1 body and really looking forward to the impending birth. But, we have time- 4 weeks or so, so I am happy for now!

I am also a bit curious and at times nervous about what awaits us with this baby. I am so exited and at the same time i can worry about how we will be as parents and how we will handle the hard stuff, together and individually. Sleeplessness is a big concern for me. I am really thinking about ways to avoid this as much as possible. In the way that we are putting together our room and house to facilitate easeful use with a baby and also in diapering and lifestyle. Trying to think about relaxing easeful days where we can be really in the flow together in order to avoid a stressed out family!

I have had a really awesome pregnancy so far. This has been a amazing experience for me to have. being a midwife for so long made it so that my learning has been way more about what it is to bring a new human into the world through my body, with this amazing being- more than the clinical nuts and bolts. I am blessed in this manner and really grateful as I know how much energy that can take to learn everything about pregnancy during pregnancy.
@rcb215, I am also a bit nervous about BFing! Just not knowing how my breasts will fill and how this baby will be able to latch and how the nipples will adapt and all of the variables. I know some women have seamless BFing relationships and some have very difficult ones. I am so in awe of the woman who struggle through so much pain to make BFing work for them. Having known many, I wonder if I have it in me! I know I do, but I would not wish it on anyone! Wow. I am hoping for an easy transition for us!

Overall, I have felt a lot of confidence in my body and this wise baby to find a perfect position and prepare for birth and be born in a sacred manner- whatever this means. That has given me a lot of faith and ease as I approach this transition. I could cry at the beauty I have witnessed in my life in birth. It is just so special. I am really exited for you all to get the opportunity, so soon, to have this as well. Oh, these emotions just leap out of me so easily these days!
 

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For a hopefully more positive experience with nursing the first time (and bearing in mind that I was handicapped by having a csection, baby being in nicu for 2 days (on a glucose drip that they didn't tell me about!), and having pretty disjointed care from multiple LCs who all contradicted each other) - my milk was slow to come in, and my daughter couldn't figure out how to latch *at all*. I tried all the herbs; pumped every 2-3 hours for 6 weeks; and saw probably five different LCs (including our pediatrician, who is certified as an LC and was absolutely useless, lol). I had told myself I would stick with it for 6 weeks, and if nothing changed at that point, I would switch to exclusively pumping for 6 months and then stop. I think it was good that I gave myself those rules; so it was easier to push through ("just 6 weeks; you can do anything for 6 weeks" - not so convincing at 3am!); and it kept me from quitting too soon. All the resources I saw said that babies tend to have a switch flip in their brains by 6 weeks; it may take that long, but they can still get the hang of nursing; on the other hand, if they haven't figured it out by then, they're less likely to. In the end, 5.5 weeks in, my daughter all of a sudden latched on at an LC visit and started nursing. They sent me home, and told me to be prepared to keep pumping and supplementing for a while if necessary. Ha. :) She never needed a bottle again (except after I went back to work); she kept on surprising me by latching on beautifully and just - nursing, over and over. I didn't care that it took her 45 min/side for the first month or two after that! (I had started out barely pumping 4oz/day; over the course of the month, I got up to 22-24oz/day, so my supply was finally normal at the exact time that she decided to start nursing. So also don't be discouraged if it takes a while for supply to get there; nearly everyone can make enough milk, given enough stimulation. ;) )

Anyway - I am so glad I stuck with it for those 5.5 weeks, as painful and frustrating as it was. We got to have a beautiful nursing relationship, and it's still one of her favorite things to do. I am definitely looking forward to the next baby nursing more smoothly, though!

(And on the 6 weeks thing - one of my friends around the same time persisted with pumping and attempting to nurse, and I think her son was 2.5-3 months before he figured it out. She blew me away. I would have quit by then. But even after that long, they were able to make it work. So it's not impossible.)
 

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What a great idea for a thread! Thank you for starting, @Wild Rose!

I'm a pretty Type A and I like to have control over most things in my life and the ability to plan things out. I think that's what I've disliked most about pregnancy so far - losing control over my body (of course you could argue that we don't really have that much control over bodily things anyway). I feel like I've lost a lot of my bodily autonomy. I've also struggled with body confidence issues in the past so gaining 35+ lbs (so far) has been messing with my head.

All that being said, I'm still excited to meet our baby girl. I'm also scared as hell. Sometimes I wonder "what the heck have we done?!" I worry about being a good mom. I worry that my husband won't be a good dad and will leave me to do 99% of things by myself (this comes from what my dad did to my mom, nothing that my husband has done). I'm worried something will go wrong during labour and I'll need a c section. I'm worried about everything! Worrying like this isn't unique to having a baby - I'm an anxious person that worries about everything (especially things that I don't have control over).

This is sounding overly negative and I don't mean it to. I'm 36+4 and I'm excited that we're getting so close to having the pregnancy chapter end and to have our baby join our family.
 

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@catladymeow: I think it is totally normal and great to express the things that are stressing you out. If you don't, then all you do is internalize them. Sometimes just expressing your worry can help to alleviate the stress of them.
 

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You're very right @rcb215! If I don't verbalize these things I tend to stew over them and ruminate, which makes me depressed and *more* anxious, and doesn't help anything at all!
 

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Yes, great thread idea @Wild Rose! My worries are the same as most of yours...that we will do a good job, handle the sleeplessness, be able to breastfeed successfully (only about half of my friends who wanted to do this were able to, though my mom had no problems with me), and @catladymeow, I have totally had those "what have we done?!" moments too and then felt horribly guilty later the next time I felt the baby wiggle around. I am also having trouble with letting go of control, but I am lucky that like Wild Rose, I have had a pretty smooth pregnancy so far. I hope this means that my body will do exactly what it's supposed to for birth and breastfeeding too...I do have more confidence in it now than I started pregnancy with (since getting pregnant was so hard). Thank you to those of you who are sharing your breastfeeding challenges and successes with us....I am impressed by your dedication, @americanjuly, and it's awesome to know that it can work out in the end even with some big hurdles in the beginning.
 

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FTM here too, I'm at 40+4 and I have the *exact* same worries and "what have we done?!?" moments. I think that's just part of it, it's a huge transition and I'd be crazy not to have doubtful moments.

I was also concerned about breastfeeding after some horror stories from my friends and hearing about a lot of challenges. DH and I took a brief class with a local LC and she stressed not to wait until things were a crisis before reaching out. She actually said, "Don't martyr yourself. Breastfeeding might have some mild discomfort but it shouldn't be painful. If it is, reach out. We'll work on it together, don't go through that alone." When she said that, I realized that I'm the kind of person who would suffer through something and keep saying, "oh, it isn't *that* bad, I can handle it." So it was a huge relief when she kind of gave me permission to reach out for help if I needed it. Hopefully I won't need it but it's ok if I do.

Right now, I'm just waiting and hoping that baby will arrive before we have to induce. The midwives will let me go to 42 weeks, so we have a few days at least. I'm a little nervous about labor, my DH has a son from his first marriage and that delivery was really tough, ended in an unplanned c-section. Apparently the experience was really traumatic for my stepson's mom and I think DH had some trauma related to it as well. Sometimes I can feel that story hanging over my head and worry that the same thing or something similar will happen to me. It's an irrational fear, I know, but it's still in the back of my mind. I sort of wish I didn't know anything about the story at all so there wouldn't be any comparison. Other than that, it's the usual worries about what labor will be like since I've never done this before and people's experiences are so different. Some people think labor is a breeze, others go through serious pain and have a really hard time. There's no manual that tells us what it will actually be like!

I went for acupuncture today and had a little conversation with the baby, letting him/her know how excited we are to meet him/her, how ready we are to welcome him/her with love and that we have everything we need to ease the transition into the world. There's so much love and joy on this side, it's time for baby to come out and experience it all! I left the appointment feeling relaxed and relieved.

I'm so glad to be in the company of all of you! I had been hanging out in the June DDC, convinced that this little one would arrive before July but here we are :smile:
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
@lerlisha,
So great to hear from you and have you back in our DDC. Hang in there- these days past due are so special and can be tough!

Yep, it is good to think about the rarity that BF can be rough, especially if any difficulties are not attended to timely. And making that assessment so early on is hard. There are a million and more stories of success as well as what seems like that number of hard stories. Let's hope that preparation and support allay any long term difficulties for all of us!

It is good for me to re-read my earlier post from friday! Such confidence i had/have! What a good attitude! Today has been tough but I'll get through it. Time is passing so quickly. it is crazy. On the one hand I want to leap into labor and forget all the things I have on my to do list- like clean the hell out of this house. On the other hand, I would like to get all this stuff done, this never ending stuff...! I just need th wheat to pass- oh dear, please let it cool off so I can run the vacuum without dying.
@mamamargo is the first of us to give birth~~!!! So special and so wonderful and such a great FTM birth story (of what we have!). Hooray!

Dh just brought home dinner as a surprise- so nice to not have to make anything. Then he cleaned up the kitchen while I was in the shower. His attitude around this baby and my current capacities is really helping to boost my mood and feel supported right now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
@Metasequoia, I like that and I found it worthwhile to get all the way through the article. Thank you for sharing. My midwife and I were just discussing the reverse motion at times of stalemate labor- it was nice to read about it so quickly after our discussion. Such a cool concept.
 

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Not sure if everyone in here has delivered yet or not but now that I am on the other side of things I wanted to mention something that I wish someone had told me. Get some regular flow pads! I feel like there was so much focus on the heavy bleeding that would occur after the birth that all I did was stock up Depends (which were a LIFE SAVER for the first few days/nights) and really heavy flow pads. Now that my bleeding has slowed the giant pads are pretty uncomfortable. There is just too much pad!!

How is everyone doing by the way? I am loving being a new mom! I feel like things are going really well though last night I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.
 
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