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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>Are you getting the "Wow!  You're populating the Earth!" reaction or vibe from people? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It has been said to me by someone but in a 1/2 joking manner from a good friend.  I am expecting it from many. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anyone feeling or getting that same vibe?</p>
 

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<p>I'm going on #5, yeah, we're getting lots of "wows" in a rather shocked silence, not the good kind of wow. <img alt="greensad.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/greensad.gif">  It's irritating and makes me not want to tell anyone unless I know they'll be happy.  We are getting many more comments (not positive) on this one than we ever did with #3 or 4.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
<p>My husband is going on #5 and he's 50, so we're definitely getting the "Oh, wow" reaction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The kids are the ones wanting to tell their friends and I am letting them, especially because we are only going to be here a week longer.  That's where I've gotten the reaction right now.  I've told a friend who has 3 and we've joked about having 4.  She's laughing at me but it's in a good way.</p>
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<p>My birth aunt had 7 kids in 10 years.  Her kids have always joked that I have followed in her footsteps.  I hope not that many, though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am simply not ready to tell anyone that wouldn't "get" it.</p>
 

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<p>Yeah we had told everyone we were done having kids and now a surprise #4! This of course has opened us up even more to the ridicule. My family is mostly happy- my dad bless his heart said "sometimes the best things in life are unplanned" but my dh's family definitely thinks we are crazy. Friends mostly have 3-4 kids so they are happy for us but lots of not close friends and dh's coworkers are making snide "you do know how this happens??" kind of snide comments. </p>
<p> </p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<p>I thought I was over.  My husband didn't want to be over.  He has wanted another for years.  On my end, it was a "Well, if we are going to do this, then it better happen soon" but I wasn't trying at the same time.  I didn't expect it really, but obviously with 2 Leos and a Virgo, Nov/Dec are our fertile time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Most of my friends have 1 child, maybe 2.  Some are not parents by their own choices.  I do have a few friends with 3-4 but not many at all.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<p>LOL!  Me too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am adopted, so this is good for me.  I grew up having 2 brothers that were biological sons of my parents.  DD1 was the first blood relative that I knew.  I know both sides of my birth families now and that makes it even better now.</p>
<p> </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>alyssatuininga</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1281410/for-those-that-are-on-their-3rd-or-4th-pregnancy#post_16069400"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> "you do know how this happens??" kind of snide comments. </p>
<p> </p>
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<p><br>
That's when you say "yeah, and we're not willing to give that up!"  LOL!</p>
 

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<p>DDCC. This is our 4th and we're getting lots of comments. Most are good comments but some are ugly. Why do people feel the need to comment on someone's family size if it's going to be negative?? Wait til you guys start showing. The comments will come! I'm thrilled to be having a 4th! I'd keep going if I could after this!!</p>
 

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<p>I think my family is just worried that I am going to be very overwhelmed.  This will be my 3rd child in less than 4 years and, quite frankly, I do feel overwhelmed, so their concerns are valid.  They are also very supportive and loving which more than makes up for any of their uncertainties.  </p>
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<p>My BFF, however, let out a big "are you crazy!!!" when I told her the news!  I did not know how to react so I just kind of sat there and said nothing until she started in on how hard it is going to be - keep in mind, though, that she has the EXACT same spacing of her children that I will have, just that her oldest is now 9yo.  She kept saying things like "didn't you learn anything from me?" blah, blah, blah...  But, she has been my very best bestie since I was 13 years old and after I yelled at her for being so insensitive, she was very genuinely congratulatory.  And now she is super happy to have a new baby to dote over!</p>
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<p>I did also get one "do you know how this happens" comment from one of HD's co-workers, but he is an insensitive boob anyways so I just ignored him! <img alt="orngtongue.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif"></p>
 

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<p>I definitely got more laughs than anything else. My siblings (2) have always said: you guys do this so well, it is a shame you want to stop. So people are happy. BUT: I am sure I will get comments from people at work that I wont like. People tend to not dare say much to me, though as I lost one child and this seems to give me a "free ticket" to have more. Oh well, let's not listen to them! I do not understand so many people's choices when it comes to family that I feel comfortable ignoring most comments that might come!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
<p>TracyMom, the good thing is that children close together are a bit easier later on.  My biggest thing freaking me out right now for me is the fact that there will be 10 years between the baby and our oldest.  (Let's not discuss the 28 years between my stepson and the baby. <span><img alt="huh.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/huh.gif"> )</span></p>
 

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<p>This is our 8th pregnancy in 9 yrs. We have 4 living children ages 8.5, 6.5, 4, 2. We had 2 m/c between my 4 and 6 yr old. My son Emeric was born still at 17 wks in august. We get tons of comments.</p>
<p>"Wow"!</p>
<p>"be careful" like being careful will keep me from losing the baby.</p>
<p>"Again"</p>
<p>"already"</p>
<p>"hope you don't lose another one" NO Sh--!</p>
<p>"don't you know how this happens?" Yes, and we like it.</p>
<p>"you are gonna have a hundred kids"</p>
<p>and on and on..........</p>
 
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<p>I guess I don't feel like 3 or 4 kids is a lot. I only had my sister growing up - but my best friend was from a family of 5 kids - my dad is from a family of 12 kids, my moms family had 4 kids. I always thought our family was smallish with just two. My husbands family was 3 kids (all two years apart).</p>
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<p>I'd ideally like 5 children, but I doubt we'll have another one after this (our 3rd). My husband was iffy on 3 (though he's happy about our surprise) and there is no way I'd convince him he wants another one or two. :) Maybe. ;)</p>
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<p>No one really knows yet besides our kids (we're telling our parents tomorrow and they'll be ecstatic) but I never imagined I'd get any reactions like that. Hopefully I'd just shrug them off if I did. I feel like we live pretty responsibly (though we could be doing more) and probably leave a smaller footprint than most families with children anyhow.</p>
 

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<p>I'm on my eighth pregnancy, but this will be my fifth living child.  My family is good about it and very happy and encouraging.  DH's family is a different story.  We have always told both sides of the family right away, but this time dh really doesn't want to tell, he has even half joked that we will call them after we have the baby to let them know.  When pregnant with our third baby, his dad said, "what the h*ll, you have to many d*nm kids already" (we only had two!).  With #4 he just looked the other way and didn't talk for the rest of dinner, lord only knows what he said to dh once I was out of hearing!  So the inlaws are coming over for dinner on Sat and I will be 10 weeks pregnant, dh still refuses to tell them.  I'm thinking that the longer we wait, the more hurt their feelings will be that we kept it a secret, but maybe I'm wrong.  As for people outside of the family, I already get lots of comments on our "big" family, so I'm sure it will continue!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
<p>I feel for you & your in-laws.  Sounds like my family.  Either way, there's going to be hurt feelings. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>My parents had little to do with our 3rd pregnancy.  Actually, I didn't even call them to tell them he was born until a few days later.  They were freaked out that we were having a homebirth and the fact that we actually had a u/c made it even worse.</p>
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<p>We are already considered "a brood" by many. </p>
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<p>What's funny is with 3, we were freaking out about our 1993 Honda Accord.  We thought we'd have to have a van, but lived 4+ years with 3 kids with it.  The day I sold it (Sunday), we found out we were pg.  Now, we will have to have a van, for sure!</p>
 

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<p>This is is our baby #4. It was a bit unplanned but I'm super excited about it.  We've told my mum and a couple friends but not DHs family. I'm really not looking forward to it as sil is going through IVF and recently had a major set back.  I feel guilty in a way that it was unplanned and that we have 3 healthy kids already and she's struggling so much. I have a strong feeling that my mil will not be that happy about it and will be focusing only on how hard it is for her daughter rather than being happy for her son. We're hosting Christmas dinner for everyone and I don't think I'll be able to hide it then...not looking forward to telling them all.</p>
<p>I'm sure we'll get stupid comments from others on have one more but I hoping it won't bother me that much.</p>
 

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<p>I haven't told anyone but dh, yet. I'm sure that I'll get some comments since I already get them when out shopping with my three kids--7, 4.5 and 2.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
<p>Mumofmak, it's not your fault that your SIL is having trouble.  I know that's difficult trying to navigate that issue... How it can be so easy for one couple to conceive and so hard for another.  Just keep in your heart that it's all okay.  Obviously, my parents were some of the people with fertility issues.  That's why I was adopted.  I think some of those issues come up when dealing with them.</p>
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<p>Vanessa, I know what you mean.  We have been homeschooling for the last 2 years and so I get the "You've got your hands full" comment already when I am shopping with them.  I am rarely seen without them.  I could go incognito if I didn't have them with me.</p>
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<p>I told our friends that we had Thanksgiving dinner with today.  They have one child.  It was funny though, because I showed up with a 6 pack of really good beer and a 6 pack of O'Doul's.  I explained quickly why.  They know all that we have been through this year and were supportive, but we have mutual friends that have 3-4 kids, so it's not a big deal in the community that we having been living in here in NC.  The one joke came from the husband when all the kids got a little rowdy.  He said, "Really??? One more?"  I just laughed at him because I know he's totally content with just one very, very active child and we tend to laugh at the antics of three kids vs. one already.</p>
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<p>mumofmak - I hope you plan to tell your sil privately or by e-mail or phone beforehand so she can be prepared for the public announcement. Dealing with infertility can make receiving the news of a pregnancy difficult & it's really kinder to give her the opportunity to absorb it & deal with it privately.</p>
 
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