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Hi,
I am trying to get some feeling for some of the reasons people have chosen to do UC and also how it went for you, maybe in regards to those reasons.

I am sorting through my own reasons to do it or not and so it would be helpful to me to hear-
Why did you choose to do a UC? How did it serve, and how did it work out for you?
Thanks!
 

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So far I'm choosing to UP/UC because I have moved and my previous midwife is too far away to attend my birth. I am on Medicaid now because my husband lost his job last year so that is another reason, I haven't been able to find any HB midwives that will even tell me their rates, let alone offer to work with me financially. I could go to a midwife at the hospital for free, but after talking to them I see "hospital policy" will overrule even their beliefs & I'm not comfortable with that. I'd rather go it alone & if need be the hospital is there in case of emergency, that is one plus, now I'm less than a mile from the hospital where as with my last birth I was over a 1/2 hr away.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
Hi,
I am trying to get some feeling for some of the reasons people have chosen to do UC and also how it went for you, maybe in regards to those reasons.

I am sorting through my own reasons to do it or not and so it would be helpful to me to hear-
Why did you choose to do a UC? How did it serve, and how did it work out for you?
Thanks!
I am choosing to do a UC but am due in May so have no description as of yet as to how it has served me in the birthing process.


I can say however how incredibly empowering it is just to be planning a uc and taking care of our own prenatal care. This is the main reason we chose UC- because we believe that birth is natural and normal and knew how empowering it could be if it we simply let it be. For us it was kind of a, "why not?" It has developed in to something much bigger than that though and I don't know that I can put it in words exactly... I'd have to say, for me, it is becoming a transformational experience with my spirituality and trust being at the forefront. I feel that I am learning new levels of responsibility and trust that go further than anything I have been challenged to do thus far in my life. I gave birth at home with a midwife previously and that was an amzing experience but this is a whole new level of trust and empowerment. I know I wouldn't be motivated and challenged to grow as a person the way I am now without this unique situation.


Other perks for me are...
  • the freedom to be and do as I please during my labor and birth, whatever that may be. (Including intimacy with my partner if we are so inclined).
  • not feeling inhibited by anything or anyone
  • saving a tremendous amount of money (not the reason for choosing, but certainly a bonus!)
Good luck with whatever you choose, mama!
 

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Originally Posted by BirthNut View Post
So far I'm choosing to UP/UC because I have moved and my previous midwife is too far away to attend my birth. I am on Medicaid now because my husband lost his job last year so that is another reason, I haven't been able to find any HB midwives that will even tell me their rates, let alone offer to work with me financially. I could go to a midwife at the hospital for free, but after talking to them I see "hospital policy" will overrule even their beliefs & I'm not comfortable with that. I'd rather go it alone & if need be the hospital is there in case of emergency, that is one plus, now I'm less than a mile from the hospital where as with my last birth I was over a 1/2 hr away.
Yes, the same situation with us. We moved 3 hrs away from our current midwife and that's what began our journey in to thinking about UC. I honestly had never heard of it or thought about it before but am so glad we have!! We discovered that it is the perfect"next step" for us.
 

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Why did you choose to do a UC?

once i'd "heard" of it, it just made absolute sense.

i suppose though, it also simply resonated deeply.

i explain: at menarche, i had a dream where i birthed unassisted. i didn't know it had a name, it just was. then, after my miscarriage (accidental pregnancy), i got a prenatal yoga book (i'm a yoga teacher) by jeanine parvati baker. in it, she gave her birth stories and among them was her UC story.

so, my husband and i talked about it and it just made absolute sense to us.

for us, the miscarriage was everything. we weren't ready for a child then, and didn't even know we were pregnant until i miscarried. so, we felt very grateful. after that, we began to talk about whether and when we wanted to have a child, and then what we needed to do to prepare ourselves and "feel ready."

and, of course, we discovered UC and many other natural parenting ideas. It's been so amazing.

5 years after deciding to UC, we got pregnant and had a UC

How did it serve?

I'm not sure how to answer this question. I can say that it served us well. I know a great deal about myself and i feel that i am galvanized as a mother because of my birth. I really feel empowered and have a lot of self-knowledge.

how did it work out for you?

it worked out really great. i had a pleasurable, ecstatic birth of my son August 30, 2008.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
zoebird Jeannine Parvati Baker is who inspired me to think about it as well! I have been very influenced by her since I was about 18 ( I am now 36). Also I saw her speak in 1999 at a conference and have a tape of the lectureI saw which is about freebirth. I listened to it many times over the years- but interestingly not since I have been pregnant as I haven't had a tapedeck that works recently. I just tonight pulled out the lecture tape and am going to find a tape deck to listen to it on.

Okay- here is my long process of thoughts and emotions at the moment- just processing it all!

I am still figuring out if doing it for my first birth feels more safe and comfortable for me or if using the midwives does. I have already paid the midwives- months ago. So it is really a matter of what feels most safe for me.
I feel on some levels that I want to have the midwives available if I need them, which I will as I have already signed on with and paid them. But on another level, I am feeling some tension with the midwives right now in terms of how much I would want them in my intimate space. I am also feeling some emotional stuff with them (mostly around support- do I even want their support yet I feel they are not giving the support I want kind of thing .)

Also another thing I am feeling right now is the feeling of going with my instinct and trusting versus educating myself on specifics or having someone there to hold a safe space. I don't know- just working it out.
Like, on one level it feels more comfortable to me to have the midwives there- at least at some of it- to assist with supporting me and making sure things are well, and helping if issues arise. This feels supportive as it iis one less thing for me to hold- and could free me up to relax more into the experience. But really that only feels so for the fear based issues that could arise. It feels less safe and open and trusting for me to have the midwives there in a way because I am not so close and open and trusting with them.

On the other hand, I do not feel that spiritually or sexually intimate with my midwives. And I very much do with my husband who is just so with me. So on an ideal level, I like to see myself allowing the fullest expression of my love and birth and family in my most trusted and private space.
Yet- on another level I feel more relaxed with the midwives available.
But on the other hand my truest self feels most relaxed when alone with my husband.

And then if I do UC the ultimate way I see it is to trust my instinct and stop getting too nitpicky with instructions and particulars.

So my feeling is- which is the best way for me to relax in my birth? If I just go with my instinct, is it then safer for me to have the midwives there to deal with any practical issues that could arise that I wouldn't know about?
Or can I actually go with my instincts and not know too much technical stuff and be safe and fine and instinctual.

And the ultimate thing is- I don't really know what birth will be. I know my body and I know my emotiions and instincts, and that if my body can grow an entire baby then it certainly knows how to give birth!
But even today I mentioned to 2 different people about how I might do the birth just me and my dh , and each had a story about how it was actually really good that the midwives were present as-
one had a cord wrapped 3 times around the neck and the midwives knew just how to free it
and the other took a while to get breathing and the midwives knew just what to do.

So- these are the thoughts in my head about this!

Which prompts me back to my original question and thanks for letting me process this! I am 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

One thing I have to add is that I don't feel particularly anxious about my decision- it is just the things that are coming up for me as I consider my ways of approaching it. BAsically- will I want the mw's there or not- but these are the reasons I am considering, and I feel lately like I do want the midwives there as it will make me feel safer.
Yet I find myself not liking them right now! And on a big level I don't want them there!
And I am just Loving my husband- who will obviously be there either way.

So that is my process I am considering.
I may edit this all out as I may feel over exposed!
 

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Why did you choose to do a UC?
Ultimately, I did NOT want a cesarean for twins. I'd already considered UC before knowing it was twins because hospital births here aren't nice and my MW had moved.

How did it serve, and how did it work out for you?
Worked out great. Had a nice UC. Loved that my babies were never taken away and that I was in the comfort of my home.
 

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I haven't actually UCed but I am planning on doing so this time and here are my reasons why.
I am a private person. I don't like people all in my business, especially my 'private' business. When I labor I need to be surrounded my loving family and friends or to be left alone. And I can't have it completely my way in a hospital. By the time I get to know a nurse, shift change comes and I get a new one. I have gotten nurses that I clash with and it's a total pita to get a new one. I also don't have a high opinion of Drs. I know they do save lives but (IMHO) that has gone to their head making them less likely to listen/accept others thoughts and opinions and I have witnessed some unfavorable outcomes because of this. Dr's are people too and most have seemed to forget this and treat others like they are less than them. I also know that birth is a natural process that rarely needs medical intervention; Dr's have this idea that birth is a medical issue and it is not (always). In my experience (with two previous births) in a hospital you can't have a non medical birth.
This time around I don't want to fight for my birth. I don't want to have a contraction on my back, be checked during a contraction (or at all for that matter) and I defiantly don't want to labor in a bed. They made me with both of my births because my water had broken… total BS. I want delayed cord clamping and I don't want tension kept on my cord so my placenta delivers quicker. I want my placenta and I don't want to jump through hoops to get it. I don't want Pit because I am not establishing a labor pattern quick enough or because I am hemorrhaging (because my placenta was basically ripped out of me). I want to hold my baby until as long as I want and I don't want to give it up for the apgars to be done. I don't want my baby suctioned, ointment in the eyes, vit K injection, or hep b injection and I don't want to continually argue my reasons until we leave. I don't want my baby taken away for nurse shift change and I don't want to have the conversation why we are using cloth for the beginning. I may just throw something at a nurse if she comes in to check on if I am nursing enough only to tell me that I am nursing too much and she will find me a pacifier. I don't like the hep lock they keep in for 12 hours after birth and I don't like the fluids I have to have during labor because I can't drink them myself. I hate the fact that they keep us in the hospital for 24 hours just to make sure baby is ok. Seriously, they think that they are going to pick up something before I do. I can't take my eyes off of my new bundle for more than a minute and their every hour check in is going to catch something before me- really? I don't like that I have to ride in a wheelchair to our vehicle when its time to leave because of hospital policy and I don't like that we have to gather up stuff to leave to go home and then to get settled there. Its our home we should just be there. I want my birth at home because of all the reasons above and some. I want to labor with the smell of our home. I want to eat, drink, move do what my body tells me to do. I want my son to be where he would like to be during the birth and not where the Dr thinks he should be. I want to catch my baby myself or let my DH or DD, not options in hospitals around here. I want to do placenta art, eat a piece of it and whatever else I see fit with it. I want my baby born into a warm home with low lights. For us UCing is how we are going to achieve all this. I especially like the fact that we won't be under any set time restraints while laboring and birthing.. I hate being rushed and at home I can do it on my own time, my own place and my own way. These are a lot of the reasons why we are choosing using this time around. I feel even more at peace with UCing now after typing out all my reasons, thank you.

~Wrote the above before I read your response..
I considered a midwife but then decided whats the point. Yeah, she would be there 'if' something went wrong but nothing is going to go wrong. I am going into this labor with nothing going to go wrong attitude, I feel it will get me further than letting my mind drive me crazy with the 'what ifs'. Educate yourself about what to do if situations arises that you think you would need a midwife for and A LOT of babies are born with their cords around their neck, its a variation of normal. I also choose to not go the midwife route because, for me, it would hinder my ability to trust and listen to myself. I know if a midwife was present I would always be looking at her to see of 'everything is ok/normal' and I know that will keep me from concentrating on myself.

Maybe you can just call the midwife *if* you need her. Take it (labor) one minute at a time. If you start to feel panicky call her, have her come and I am sure she has a cell phone and could stay on it to answer questions if you need that. You don't have to commit one way or another. Just trust yourself and your body and listen to what its telling you to do.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
zoebird Jeannine Parvati Baker is who inspired me to think about it as well! I have been very influenced by her since I was about 18 ( I am now 36). Also I saw her speak in 1999 at a conference and have a tape of the lectureI saw which is about freebirth. I listened to it many times over the years- but interestingly not since I have been pregnant as I haven't had a tapedeck that works recently. I just tonight pulled out the lecture tape and am going to find a tape deck to listen to it on.

Okay- here is my long process of thoughts and emotions at the moment- just processing it all!

I am still figuring out if doing it for my first birth feels more safe and comfortable for me or if using the midwives does. I have already paid the midwives- months ago. So it is really a matter of what feels most safe for me.
I feel on some levels that I want to have the midwives available if I need them, which I will as I have already signed on with and paid them. But on another level, I am feeling some tension with the midwives right now in terms of how much I would want them in my intimate space. I am also feeling some emotional stuff with them (mostly around support- do I even want their support yet I feel they are not giving the support I want kind of thing .)

Also another thing I am feeling right now is the feeling of going with my instinct and trusting versus educating myself on specifics or having someone there to hold a safe space. I don't know- just working it out.
Like, on one level it feels more comfortable to me to have the midwives there- at least at some of it- to assist with supporting me and making sure things are well, and helping if issues arise. This feels supportive as it iis one less thing for me to hold- and could free me up to relax more into the experience. But really that only feels so for the fear based issues that could arise. It feels less safe and open and trusting for me to have the midwives there in a way because I am not so close and open and trusting with them.

On the other hand, I do not feel that spiritually or sexually intimate with my midwives. And I very much do with my husband who is just so with me. So on an ideal level, I like to see myself allowing the fullest expression of my love and birth and family in my most trusted and private space.
Yet- on another level I feel more relaxed with the midwives available.
But on the other hand my truest self feels most relaxed when alone with my husband.

And then if I do UC the ultimate way I see it is to trust my instinct and stop getting too nitpicky with instructions and particulars.

So my feeling is- which is the best way for me to relax in my birth? If I just go with my instinct, is it then safer for me to have the midwives there to deal with any practical issues that could arise that I wouldn't know about?
Or can I actually go with my instincts and not know too much technical stuff and be safe and fine and instinctual.

And the ultimate thing is- I don't really know what birth will be. I know my body and I know my emotiions and instincts, and that if my body can grow an entire baby then it certainly knows how to give birth!
But even today I mentioned to 2 different people about how I might do the birth just me and my dh , and each had a story about how it was actually really good that the midwives were present as-
one had a cord wrapped 3 times around the neck and the midwives knew just how to free it
and the other took a while to get breathing and the midwives knew just what to do.

So- these are the thoughts in my head about this!

Which prompts me back to my original question and thanks for letting me process this! I am 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

One thing I have to add is that I don't feel particularly anxious about my decision- it is just the things that are coming up for me as I consider my ways of approaching it. BAsically- will I want the mw's there or not- but these are the reasons I am considering, and I feel lately like I do want the midwives there as it will make me feel safer.
Yet I find myself not liking them right now! And on a big level I don't want them there!
And I am just Loving my husband- who will obviously be there either way.

So that is my process I am considering.
I may edit this all out as I may feel over exposed!
Keep on mind that very rarely does a midwife actually need to be there to help physically/ medically. Their main role is usually played out through emotional and mental support. 95% of the time birth is going to be "normal" and without complication. If you choose to have a UC you and your partner can do research and be prepared to identify those rare emergency situations and handle them accordingly. My husband and I just printed Emergency Childbirth which is an excellent resource.

You need to create an environment where you feel the most safe. It makes sense that these fears are coming up and you should applaud yourself for looking at them instead of sweeping them under the rug. Ultimately, as you have mentioned, the question is: "would I feel most safe, secure, and free with my midwives present or alone with my husband?" Only you can answer this. Trust your instincts and know that they are always right.
 

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personally, i believe that our instinct and intuition can tell us what to do in the moment, even if that means getting help right away or what have you.

and with this is the caveat that there are no guarantees in birth--whether with or without an attendant--and so i think it is important to explore that aspect within yourself thoroughly when choosing. that is, we simply must confront death and injury.

no matter what you choose, you are going to make the right choice. it's entirely based on what makes you most comfortable.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
personally, i believe that our instinct and intuition can tell us what to do in the moment, even if that means getting help right away or what have you.

and with this is the caveat that there are no guarantees in birth--whether with or without an attendant--and so i think it is important to explore that aspect within yourself thoroughly when choosing. that is, we simply must confront death and injury.

no matter what you choose, you are going to make the right choice. it's entirely based on what makes you most comfortable.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks everyone!
I think it comes down to that I really do want to do a UC. I really feel I am a good candidate for that because
-I trust my self, my body
-I feel very safe and secure in my home
-my husband is wonderful and loving and supportive
-I feel most in my power in the thought of doing a UC and more distracted and dissipated energies with the
midwives there
- I am kind of a private person

So I think it is just the fear thoughts that come up that deter me from going for it, but I agree that it is good that I am processing those fears now.
We paid so much friggin money to the midwives too- all out of pocket- which I have always felt really irritated about. I would have liked to have trusted myself right from the start to do a UC, and I really considered it.
My parents paid for 1/2 the midwife fee which was nice of them. And the fee is non returnable so I have to kind of process that. I notice that comes up in my thoughts and I don't want to let that interefere with my experience! Like- argh- we paid them $3600.00 and I knew I didn't even need them.
ALso- I have a phone conversation scheduled with them today and I am trying to figure out what to say about it- I don't want to give my power to them if I say- we'll call you if we need yoyu if they were to have a dissenting opinion. But I guess it is best to tell them so everyone is clear.
thanks for helping me process this!
I will print out that "emergency childbirth" thing

Now- how to let go of the fact that I paid the midwives 3600 just to basically chat with them once a month. Hmm! I have to let go of that as it is a sticky point for me!
 

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Well said zoebird, I actually think I have found an awesome midwife who supports my decision to UC, but she said she is just a phone call away & it's never too late to contact her so I'm feeling pretty good about my decision today!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I just had a good phone conversation with the midwife and told her all my feelings and it went well! She said she can support me with either having it without them or calling if we need them on any level. I made sure to emphasize that I want her available if I feel any inclination towards having them there and she was good with that.
So we are going to actually see her in her office on Friday (in 2 days) and have a good session about anything we need to know.
It feels much better to be open with the midwife. I still feel a little tense with her because we only just processed on the phone. I like to think our meeting with her on Friday will bring a nice peace to the situation. And then I can take more attention to privacy as opposed to others.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
I just had a good phone conversation with the midwife and told her all my feelings and it went well! She said she can support me with either having it without them or calling if we need them on any level. I made sure to emphasize that I want her available if I feel any inclination towards having them there and she was good with that.
So we are going to actually see her in her office on Friday (in 2 days) and have a good session about anything we need to know.
It feels much better to be open with the midwife. I still feel a little tense with her because we only just processed on the phone. I like to think our meeting with her on Friday will bring a nice peace to the situation. And then I can take more attention to privacy as opposed to others.
Yay! So glad it went well, mama!
 

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I was really unhappy with how my previous births had gone. I wasn't in control at all. I was told what to do and when to do it. This was my last baby and I didn't want my birthing experience to be strapped to a bed with a fetal monitor under harsh fluorescent lights. I also chose to do a UP. I know most of the tests that they want you to do I pass on anyway. I saw no reason I couldn't monitor my own BP and fundal height. Everything went amazingly smooth and I am soooo happy I chose to do this and would do it again in a heartbeat.
 
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