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Discussion Starter #1
My daughter is going to a birthday party for a pretty good friend next weekend.<br>
They go to preschool together and play outside of school maybe every other or third week for the afternoon.<br>
I am not close with the mom, only have become friendly through school and daughters.<br>
Her mom requested "no gifts" on the invite.<br>
My daugher saw a book about bugs and a bug box she really wants to get for her friend. Her friend loves bugs, they spend alot of their time together searching for and examining insects.<br>
I told my daugher this was a birthday with no presents and she still really wants to get and give her the gift.<br><br>
Soo, for those of you who do "no gift" parties, are there exceptions or should I just tell my daughter no?
 

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Awww, what a sweet gift! I do agree with artgoddess, though. Since they see each other often, there will be other opportunities to give the book. It can be very hurtful for people who didn't bring a present to see other people bring presents, and it is disrespectful to the wishes of the person throwing the party.
 

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I would definately let your daughter get her friend a present, especially one so thoughtfully chosen. And I agree with the pp, giving it at a playdate sounds like a good solution.
 

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Definitely call the mom and arrange another time to give the gift. Don't give it at the party. That would be rude and make the other families (and the birthday girl) feel very uncomfortable. It's a sweet gesture, but need to be dealt with outside the party.
 

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We do no gift parties, and I have had mom's of DD's close firends tell me their child has something specific in mind, would it be ok to go ahead and get it. I totally get this and personally love giving gifts, so does DD and the thought is so very appreciated. We've done those gift exchanges outside of the realm of the party at a play date where we may do a little celebration with DD and her close friend individually with left over cake.<br><br>
DD has also been known to see something she thinks a friend would love and get it and give it to her for no reason. We feel that generosity in children is a beautiful thing and will keep those doors open for both giving and receiving.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thanks everyone. I will ask if we can give it the next time we get together. I just wanted to make sure, because I was getting the feeling that some people really don't want anymore stuff in their homes, that we were not overstepping.
 

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Yeah, I'd ask the mother and respect her wishes.<br><br>
We've been invited to a no-gift party next weekend and I had already seen something for the birthday kid (hadn't bought it yet). I told the mom what I saw and asked if I could get it, and offered to give it at a time other than the party if desired, but she declined saying she really wanted to teach her child that birthdays aren't about gifts. Not my thing (I don't see the harm of equating birthdays with gifts, it's all a celebration) but, hey, I'm not the parent! So I'm glad I asked instead of just giving the gift at another time, since it would have been not appreciated.
 
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