For those who have/had sleep fighting babies....

really? i'm the only one with a baby who fights sleep?

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You're not the only one - we are out here waiting to see if there's actually an answer to this one. I'd be interested to know as well since my lo will get up and crawl around the bed every time he starts getting tired and I have to practically swaddle him to get him to stay still.

ten months and counting..... :

My sixteen month old still requires HOURS of nighttime & naptime parenting (and we are not nursing, but are co-sleeping); personally, I anticipate several more years of this.

My 8 yo was a HUGE sleep fighter as an infant and toddler. She started welcoming sleep (cosleeping) in during her preschool years--so, about 4 I guess.

Now, at 8, she still isn't a great sleeper (still takes almost an hour to fall asleep, and just doesn't need much sleep), but she is perfectly happy to go to bed at the end of a long day

Here's my story in case you can glean anything from it. My daughter would only go to sleep if I would walk with her in the Ergo for 30 minutes + (and the first bit she'd scream bloody murder), then I'd have to transfer her to the bed and pray she wouldn't wake up. If she did I'd have to start the walking again. This was after a strict bedtime routine with nursing, a bath, toothbrushing, special sleepytime music, etc. It was an awful ordeal every. single. night.

One night I'd had it. I couldn't physically walk with her anymore. She was 15mo and getting heavy and I was physically and mentally exhausted. I put her down on the bed, lay down next to her, and let her cry. I consoled her, told her I was there for her, and she fell asleep. It took awhile, I don't remember how long, but not as long as I thought it would and I was right there with her the whole time.

Sometimes now she's still mad when it's bedtime. She'll yell a bit, realize that it won't change bedtime, and then give me hugs and kisses, snuggle up, and go to sleep. Some nights it takes 20 minutes of snuggles to get to sleep -- but I love the snuggles!

It certainly won't work for every child (and I think I hit some kind of sweet spot when she was ready for it and not going through a milestone) but that's what worked for us. It's not CIO if you're with them and consoling them. I didn't like letting her cry even with me there, but she was crying anyway when I tried to walk her down and something had to change or we would have gone nuts.

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I confess; my baby fights sleep. She slept SO well when she was first born, that I think we got spoiled. Teething came early and since then 3-4 hour stretch at night is the best we do and typically it's more like 2 hours. And she will only nap on me for 20 - 90 minutes. I know there are far worse scenarios, but I'm not at all good at short bursts of sleep. Thankfully my DH can wake up and be aware easily and return to sleep easily.

I feel the same as Pippi though. How different is it if they are crying and fussing while patting/singing/carrying them and letting them do the same in bed/crib when you can be with them? I can't let her cry alone-it's too hard for ME, but I do think it's okay to let her express herself when I'm there letting her know she's safe, that we're hearing her and having her discover that she can fall asleep on her own. I feel like if all she ever experiences is falling asleep while nursing, how is she ever going to make the leap to being an independent sleeper? But maybe this is the sleep deprived woman trying to convince herself there is a way. Seasoned mamas, what are your thoughts?

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I just wanted to point out that Pippi's DD is 15 months old. Your DD is too young to learn to fall asleep on her own, that usually takes years.

And I started this thread for those who FIGHT sleep, not just take a lot of help to get to sleep. If all it took for me to get DS to sleep was nursing, I would be SO happy! And like I said, I am happyto help DS get to sleep as long as it takes, I am just getting so tired of him fussing/crying no matter what I do to try to get him to sleep, and having to rock/nurse/shush/sing FOREVER to get him to sleep all the while he is pushing away and NOT WANTING TO SLEEP! I just wanted to get a realistic idea what to expect, as far as, how long will he be doing this.....

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It happens naturally, as they develop. Ds didn't nurse to sleep at all as an infant (wouldn't....I would have much preferred if he had....we had to walk the floors and bounce him in the sling each time), but he started nursing to sleep consistently as a young toddler. Now, at 27 mo, he is (sometimes) falling asleep without nursing, or after nursing and resituating himself.

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when YOU stop fighting how much he needs sleep and when he should go to bed.

right from the beginning my dd needed a lot of stimulation. play, activities, going outside... almost like she needed a sensory overdrive to sleep.

as an mobile baby her need for physical stimulation would prevent her from going to sleep. without physical activity in the evening, not just morning, she just could not sleep. aaaaargh!!! i learnt early on i would have to have some sort of physical activity for her in the pm or else she would have trouble sleeping. so at 10 months she would crawl up and down the stairs for an hour/hour and a half straight. constantly. either in our apt block or at the 4 storeyed stairs at the public library.

plus i let her set the bedtime. i had no partner plus i had flexible work schedule so i could do that. so till she started first grade her bedtime was midnight and she woke up at around 9 am after she became a toddler. the first year she would maybe make it a 11 to 12 hour night, but by the time she got into toddlerhood she slept only 9 hours at night. she gave up her first nap at 9 month and transitioned out of her second between 18 months and 2 years when it was completely gone. between 18 months to 2 years she slept maybe twice or thrice a week. that started getting rarer till it was gone.

nowadays she goes to bed at 7:30, is asleep by 9 or 10 pm and then wakes up around 6/6:30 am. she has to be in bed early to have time to calm down to be able to read her sleep cues better. she usually reads, writes or draws and colours.

i look at myself and realise i dont sleep for more than 4 to 6 hours at night. then it makes sense why dd fights sleep.

btw as a baby she would wake herself up. as a newborn she was awake more than asleep. her uncle was the same. and her way of showing tiredness is hyperactivity. extreme behaviour. high intensity. too happy.

damn!!! i realise i mixed two topics up. fighting sleep and bedtime.

for her though there was definitely a STRONG correlation between physical or social stimulus and sleep fighting.