For those who have to go to the hospital

If you manage to find a halfway decent OB, or family or general practioner, who's willing to actually talk with you here's a terrific alternative to a birth plan. Have them write what you want on your chart as doctor's orders. I was talking to my mother tonight about her vbac with my little brother and it turns out that her doctor actually put that "there is no standard operating procedure with this infant, all procedures must be approved by one of the parents" and that "this infant will be with one of the parents or the big sister at all times." Also, because she knew from 3 days of back labor with me that posterior babies got stuck in her, she wanted a c-section right away if she started having back labor with my little brother. So they had the operating room set up next to the birthing room with an OB waiting (her doctor was an FP), on her chart was "the OB will not be allowed into the birthing room unless the decision to do a c-section has been made."

So anyway, if at all possible, talk to your OB and get them to write it on the chart. They won't have to say things like "if at all possible" to make it palatable to the nurses, they can just write stuff in as orders. That could also make things easier on your doula, she could say "have you checked my client's chart? what does the doctor say about that?"

Turns out my mom's fp was pretty non-interventionist. His comment was "I discovered I get paid just as much if I just sit back and drink orange juice as I do if I try doing a 'traditional' delivery."