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Hello,<br><br>
I have a 3.5 year old son. We are very commited to limiting is media intake. We have one tv that we keep on a tv cart in the closet. Cameron is allowed to watch videos occasionally - maybe a 2-3 times per week at most. He LOVES to watch videos. We try to encourage other things etc. but I feel like our strategies are backfiring. It seems like since tv is rationed (this is not new, we have always limited tv watching in our home) he wants it more. He pesters for it constantly and often melts down at the end of a video because he wants more! Sometimes I think about just throwing the thing out but I like him to be able to watch it occasionally and at least this way I control what he sees. I go crazy when we are at parties and such and people put on videos for the kids that I don't want my son to see - but how to tear him away?! Anyway, that's a whole different question.<br><br>
So I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions about how to continue to limit tv (or in your family it may be something else that you are trying to limit) without actually making it more desirable.<br><br>
Wisdom?<br><br>
Thanks! Deb
 

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I would try not to make a big issue or it. If he would like to watch another video.....let him. The next day maybe distract him BEFORE he wants to watch it.<br><br>
To be honest, I do not restrict the kids TV watching. I was planning on doing it. Dh and I do not watch much TV ourselves. They love watching movies. And there have been times they have sat through an entire movie played twice in a row!<br><br>
But I find now that we put no real restrictions (only have conversations about content or importance of exercise of the body and brain) they chose NOT to watch it that often.<br><br>
Good luck! Remember to.....they go through stages. When we got some Bob the Builder tapes....they lived in front of the TV for like three days. But that was it. No TV for a couple of weeks or so until the next big thing!
 

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Basically we just model that we don't watch TV and then only use the TV for two things:<br><br>
1) Family Movie Night. DD & DS take turns picking the movie we watch as a family on Saturday and we usually get pizza, too.<br><br>
2) If they are sick they can watch a video while they lay on the couch.<br><br>
Mostly, though, they just have other things they would rather do. They would always RATHER play a game, do a craft, go to the park, etc...<br><br>
Another "solution" is to pick the TV, lol. This wasn't on purpose, but we watched the debates last fall and the kids would get excited about watching TV and bythe end of the debates were DREADING us turing the TV on <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">:
 

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I am personally not a fan of limiting TV or sweets because inherently, when you limit it, you're going to promote a fixation on it.<br><br>
But there are other things that affect someone's desire for those things, and I think that good parent modeling is one way. Although, presumably you don't watch a lot of TV yourselves.<br><br>
Other than that I can't think of anything. Sorry {hugs} I definitely understand hating all of the negative things TV has and the horrible influence it can have.
 

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We have always done the "one show a day" thing. They make their choice carefully and that's it.<br><br>
During the school year we do not watch Tv on week nights. During the summer we watch movies for the whole family. We have kept a journal and they love to remember the really "good" things we have seen together.
 

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Make more interesting things available. Decide in advance what you're comfortable with and then do that.<br><br>
My children have always watched a 'limited' amount of television. I can tell you that the less they watch, the less they want to watch. It's not something that they have fixated on, or saw as forbidden fruit "so that we must defy our parents' concern for the crap that spews forth from this amazing box as soon as we get c hance. Mwahahahahaha" etc.<br><br>
They have rich inner lives that they were able nourish because they did not spend hours watching TV, and had time to develop other interests. They have created lots of their own games and play. The house is messier, since sometimes their interests are intricate in nature. Large carboard cities, tents made from balnkets and ropes strung across the house, clays of all kinds, paints of all kinds, etc etc etc. For sure, watching TV keeps a home cleaner. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> Which would be nice, actually. :LOL<br><br>
I have 4 kids of various personalites, and none have a TV fixation. The oldest, who didn't watch any TV at all as an infant & toddler, and very rarely thereafter, only enjoys particular programming-- mostly stand up- comedy and films. He's not one to sit for very long just flipping channels. In fact, I've never seen him do that, even though he has much opportunity to do just that.<br><br>
My point is, if you feel more comfortable limiting TV for your child, it's far more likely that you will have a child who is not as interested in TV-watching, rather than a child interested in vegging for hours in front of the TV. I've seen this same pattern over and over again in various families in the 16 yrs I've been a parent. Those children who are offerred a rich diversity of activity with TV not being something that is on for hours at a time, show less interest (perhaps addiction?), in general.<br><br>
However, perhaps those children who are never allowed to watch and are made to feel guilty for watching, do have a more emotional connection to that denial, which might mean the child is glued to the tube when he can be, or feels shamed when 'caught' watching.<br><br>
I've also known families who do not have TVs for orthodox religious- type reasons, and their kids seem to be fine as well. They understand that not watching TV is as much of their lives as not eating pork. Maybe some kids need to rebel against something, anyway. So if your kid rebels by watching TV, I'd say you got it good. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I think that talking to your child ahead of time, like agreeing that they can watch 30 in or 60 min of tv a day tops is good. This way, they can plan ahead of time and REALLY get to watch something that they watch, instead of just zoning out and watching 5 crappy shows that they are not all that crazy about.<br><br>
As someone who was NOT allowed to watch tv, unless it was a, "nature" show on PBS or the news, I can definitely say that my brothers and I would try to, "sneak" tv as much as possible. Whenever we went to a friend's house, we would love to just sit and watch tv there... b/c we were not allowed to watch tv at our house. I'm sure our friends thought we were a little weird (they were not limited to how much tv they could watch).<br><br>
When I went off to college, omg I thought it was great to have full access to the tv and not just regular tv, but cable too (my parents did not get table until AFTER we went to college, I think I was one of the only kids out there that realy did not know anything about MTV in jr high and HS). I think I wasted a lot of time watching tv in college, I'm serious. Even my DH makes fun of me for having lived in a hole, b/c I was so out of touch with the teen tv culture... I kind of caught up with all of that during college though. Now that I am in my 30's, I still like tv, BUT I'm able to realize when I just have it on as background noise and when I am actively watching it and I realize that a lot of stuff is just junk. After my son was born, DH and I decided that we needed to limit tv, so we got tivo and we basically tivo the stuff we really like and watch that after our son has gone to bed. Otherwise, during the daytime, sometimes we will watch the news or morning talk show (good morning america type stuff) and joshua sometimes watching a pbs or nog show during the daytime, but that's about it. I don't want to totally prohibit my kids from tv, in fear that they will feel deprived and crave watching tv, which I don't think is healthy either, having BTDT.<br><br>
I have also heard of some parents having their kids use their allowance to, "pay" for tv time. I don't know how I feel about that, but the ppl who have done this, do say their kids tend not to watch tv, b/c they don't want to, "waste" their $ on tv. I don't think I would resort to this unless tv watching was out of control in my household, however, it may work reallywell for some families. Oh, and the "pay for tv" rule applied to everyone, not just the kids, but the parents too.
 

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WE restrict it. Dh is in ad business, and we dread dc seeing deceitful advertising. Dd understands, but the girl is hooke on a few shows that I am not 100% happy about, but could be worse!<br><br>
So, no tv M-F. Dc are allowed 2 hrs on weekend. NO commercials or their tv time is over.<br><br>
I have basically read to dd how bad tv is for her brain. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
I am working to a point of allowing her to pick one show a day this summer to watch. (I'm hoping for Little House on The Prairie!)<br><br>
We do restrict tv and sweets. Perhaps it will backfire? I dunno. I was allowed no sugar growing up, and went ot college and only ate sugar. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> MY Dad didn't have tv, so while I visited him, I found other things to do. Like reading and playing games.<br><br>
I rarely watch tv(food network or H$G). Dh is the addict-he will watch every sprt on tv at the tiime. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
When I do allow dc t o watch, I allow PBS(no sesame street who are pro-McD's)Animal Planet, Discovery KIds, or The Learning Channel.<br><br>
Whe n I am sick, or the dc are sick, I stock up on videos, which are far better than tv-you don;t have all the media crap.<br><br>
mp
 

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We have tv restrictions. It's understood they get X amount of tv viewing a day and das it. We just don't make a big thing out of it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> If they are asking for more I'll tell them exactly when the next tv time is (after dinner, tomorrow morning, etc), or help them find something else to do. They know it's pointless arguing about it so they don't.<br><br>
We're a homeschooling family, during a "school day" they get a short tv time in the morning, then none til after afternoon naps for the lils. They only do an 1-1.5hrs max of anything schoolish a day, but if the tv is off they'll persue learning all throughout the day. When I tell them its tv time I hafta ask myself, "If we keep the box off, would they go read a book? Play a game together? Run outdoors in the sunshine?"
 

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mp- We also have a friend in the ad biz, and while it's all cool to encourage talking to children about the manipulation of advertising (and of course dh and i do), it's not such a simple thing to me. We're talking a multi, multi *billion* dollar biz going right for our kids. They employ child psychologists,sociolgists, child developments 'experts' etc---- the whole nine yards, as how to best manipulate and appeal to our children. It's a lot to have to counteract.<br><br>
For me, I don't trust the advertisers motives so much that I will set my children in front of them for unlimited hours a day. That just does not work for my heart, and I wont do it. If i err on the side of caution, so be it. I can handle it. I simply cannot let those folks, who are about making money and not respecting the needs of children, have at my kids for hours a day.<br><br>
I do however, respect that others feel comfortable with that, and can counteract the onslaught in a way that feels comfrotable and workable to them. I don't feel that, nor do I feel the least bit guilty about it
 

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I've only read the OP; these parts are what I'm specifically responding to:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>cam's mama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We are very commited to limiting is media intake. <span>-snip-</span> He LOVES to watch videos. <span>-snip-</span> It seems like since tv is rationed (this is not new, we have always limited tv watching in our home) he wants it more. He pesters for it constantly and often melts down at the end of a video because he wants more! <span>-snip-</span> I go crazy when we are at parties and such and people put on videos for the kids that I don't want my son to see - but how to tear him away?! <span>-snip-</span> how to continue to limit tv without actually making it more desirable.</div>
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So, you say he LOVES videos, you say it's hard to "tear him away" when they're on at somebody's house, you say he has meltdowns at the end of videos b/c he wants more?? And you don't give him more videos??? That really just sounds backwards IMO. There are tons of awesome programs out there (not just crap), tons of learning opportunities; he LOVES them, and yet you want to pass tem up? Sorry, but it sounds like your desire to keep your son untainted by media is more important than your desire to see him happy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><br><br>
You have hit the nail on the head when you say "forbidden fruit"--the phenomenon of him wanting more of whatever just b/c it's limited just proves he's human. I don't know of anything you could do to make him not fight against your limits, other than removing the limits. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> When the limits are lifted, a binge-state will occur for awhile, b/c the person isn't sure when/if the limits will return again, so they think they should 'get while the gettin's good'. Over time that levels out and the item will lose its appeal (i.e., videos will become just one of a plethora of fun exciting interesting educational things to fill his days). Really. He won't grow up wanting to watch every single movie in the video store :LOL ...or, if he does, he's probably heading for a career as a movie critic!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"><br><br>
Good luck! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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honestly a lot depends on ur child's personality. is he the type that goes thru phases or the type who gets addicted and keeps wanting more and more and more. you certainly have asked a v. good question because the forbidden fruit is a big concern of mine.<br><br>
with my dd - i look at the intensity of her needs and then work accordingly. so if she wants icecream for bfast i give it to her. also because i know 15 mins later she will ask for regular bfast. she will do this for a week and not eat icecream say for a month.<br><br>
same thing with tv. she is in dc 5 days a week and i think she watches tv with her dad every evening. i cant seem to get thru to him why i dont like that. so on the weekends i definitely dont want her to watch tv. we do have a very full weekend so mostly she doesnt even ask for tv. but on days she wants to be home and watch tv i let her. if she wants to watch it again i do a second time. and then i notice she is satiated but probably would want more. so we go do something outside. she is a total outdoor girl so its not hard to get her to do things.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Krystal323</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sorry, but it sounds like your desire to keep your son untainted by media is more important than your desire to see him happy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"></div>
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Short-term and long-term happiness are very different things. I know several people who found that their kids' behavior changed dramatically for the better, and they were overall happier, after they went from unlimited TV to none at all. Also, you need to keep in mind that some of us truly believe that TV is damaging to our children, and we wouldn't let them watch unlimited quantities of it any more than we would let them eat all the mercury-contaminated fish they wanted.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>srain</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Short-term and long-term happiness are very different things.</div>
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I agree! But you've got to consider: WHAT IF....the harm done by feeling like their mom doesn't care about what they like is WORSE than the (debatable) harm done by watching some quality kids' videos. The possibility that my kids will someday conclude that I don't give a crap about what they think and feel (a common complaint of teens) scares me way more than vegging on the couch together watching Harry Potter. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> Short-term happiness often *affects* long-term happiness.<br><br>
"it's for your own good" makes zero sense to a 3yr old, but feelings like resentment and rejection can be very real.<br><br>
We went from zero tv, to videos, to tons of videos and cable, back to even more videos but no cable, and we're all fine. My kids have unlimited tv, video games, movies, computer games, etc, and they are currently sitting on my bed playing a complicated game with dolls, doll strollers and doll luggage. Just giving a real-life example of what could be in a media-unlimited household <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
I understand the position that TV is bad, I used to a zealous no-tv advocate, I've heard the plug-in-drug-perspective, and yet... The TV is not some boogeyman in our house, it doens't dominate our days and dull our learning environment. It's just a tool, nothing to be feared. When you feel a need to limit and control and regulate something like tv, you give it power over your family--you're in effect saying, 'this thing is powerful and I'm worried it'll change you, so, only a little....' Kids hear that and their curiosity is piqued--they want to know what it is you're so afraid of, what it is they're being kept from. Does that make sense?<br><br>
FWIW I'm not at all judging anyone who doesn't "see it my way"--I used to be on your side after all. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Good luck.
 

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Interesting discussion....<br><br>
I grew up without TV and I was raised eating "health food". My parents did not believe in limiting or resticting but they had absolutely no interest in watching TV themselves so TV was not introduced to us until we were older and watched at friends' houses. My husband was virtually raised by the TV.<br><br>
Now as adults, I have no interest in TV and my husband has some interest in TV (not much, but some) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
As for sugar, my parents bought healthy food. We shopped at our local health food store and generally cooked/ate healthy food. We ate candy when we wanted, which was not often, and there generally wasn't any in the house. Not by a "rule" but just because, again, it wasn't introduced to us by my parents. I never had much of a sweet tooth. To this day I don't have much interest in sugar at all and find things such as cake frosting disgusting. DH, raised on Twinkies, has to curb his sweet tooth quite often. Again, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
So for us the whole "forbidden fruit" concept has not proved true. On the contrary. I think my taste buds were not trained to require such extremes and as a result I need very little seasoning while my husband can down a small bottle of Tabasco sauce. I also prefer less passive entertainment and do not need constant background noise to function. (I do, however, spend a bit too much time on the computer <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> ) I must say that I have heard the forbidden fruit argument often. I understand it and have worried slightly about it myself. I do find though, that many people use it as an excuse to let their children have unlimited TV and candy - this is just IME though, I am assuming it does not apply to folks on this thread.<br><br>
We have wondered what to do in our house but have decided to take a similar approach to that of my parents. We do have a TV but none of us have much interest in it so it doesn't get turned on often at all. We recently began borrowing videos from the library when we all were sick one weekend. When my son asks to watch, we watch. He generally prefers other activities but he has always been that way. I think some kids unwind in front of the TV but mine prefers human interaction. I know many wonderful, creative, intelligent folks who do like to unwind in front of TV/movies. I see nothing wrong with it but we don't fall into that category in our house. If that changes, we will probably just go with it....<br><br>
My son also does not have a sweet tooth but we do not limit/restrict sweets. We have healthy sweets in the house and he generally chooses his own food or chooses from a bunch of options given by moi <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
Sorry for the novel. I have been trying to write this off and on for an hour in between chores.
 

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My parents got rid of our TV when I was 9 and my brother was 7; we had watched a normal amount for the time, before that (not like kids watch now). I never did get into TV after that--it was just too stupid, except for a few things (Star Trek the next generation had me hooked for a while <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">). My brother became obsessed with TV and movies, esp. violent action ones my parents didn't like, as a young teen and watched stuff all the time at his cousin's house, and still watches a lot. I therefore maintain that there is no way to figure out a perfect plan that is going to "work out" the way you want for every kid. So just do what seems best, with good thinking and compassion behind it, and hope for the best. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
We have a TV in the closet. DH and I watch a movie now and then--once a month?--when DS is asleep, and DS has videos when he's sick (or I am). He has been requetsing videos lately, and I'm thinking about how to respond. One thing is, we don't own any videos, so we have to go to the library for them, and at the lib we (really) always forget becasue we're busy getting books....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> This cuts down on watching becasue of boredom or impulse--there's a delay in which he can find something more interesting to do. (It works for grownups, too.) He never watches TV TV, so he only knows about videos at this point, which helps. We're selective about the videos, too--mostly jsut stuff with interesting images, like how a house is built, animals, etc, less to absorb and so his mind can still be thinking about it.<br><br>
I'm not comfortable letting him watch videos alone. I want him to have human contact, help taking in unfamiliar ideas, somebody to talk to, so it's not just veg brain. This REALLY limits how much I'm willing to let him watch, because I can stand very little of it.<br><br>
I find he is way less whiny and demanding about watching videos than the kids I know who, say, can watch 30 minutes a day. He just knows it's not really something we do, because there is so much else to do in life, so he doesn't push it much. And he can be intensely whiny and pushy in many other departments. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Our family is not a media -restricted home and the children don't seem to care much at all about TV. I know you didn't read the whole thread, so I will re-state--that in my experince of my family, and other families I have known over a long period of time (16- 20 years) who chose not to let the TV be a constant in the home, have children who are less interested in TV, The less they watched, the lower the interest in TV. I know for us, the TV not something we even argue about at all. Nor have we ever.<br><br>
We do think some of those studies on media and brain development have good merit. (Have you acutaly read the Jane Healy stuff? That's some good, solid research with replicated studies). My children weren't and aren't hurt long term or short term, by parental guidlelines. I don't want to brag about my kids, but frankly, they are very cool kids who rock. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
I might have to cut my tongue out someday, or at least chop off my fingers for typing this, but we have a dd who will be 13 in a couple of weeks and a ds who is nearly 16 & 1/2. and they are not at all alienated from us, and they respect my honesty and their Dad's honesty about why we have certain discussions about media and why we have had various media guidlelines over the years (which change as children grow).<br><br>
They speak their minds, and are encouraged by us to speak their minds and articulate their needs. They are their own solid, secure people, and they are also mature. So...so far, no 'acting out', not any crazy rebellious behaviors, not huge dramatic 'typical' teen behaviors. etc. Of course, that's only 2 for 4, right now. We still have two more coming up, and my current teens still have a few years left to go. But respect in our family is numero-uno, despite certain media 'limitations.'<br><br>
Offerring respectful, thoughtful media guidlelines to children is not going to harm them, but unlimited pixels and flickering llight waves might. I'd rather take my chances with some thoughtful discussion with my children, as opposed to the very real potential harm that TV viewing may have on early brain wiring. I know people are sometimes distrustful of brain research--it all seems magical... all that flourescent color on all those different brain areas...but it's quite an amazing field of amazing work. It' s not a bunch of David Copperfields hiding the Statue of Liberty. You also have to realize that research which might show damage from TV viewing is not going to be about making money. There's no big money to be made in limiting children's TV viewing. So yes, i do find some of that research compelling.<br><br>
The real charlatans to watch for are the folks working night and day and spending billions to make more billions. Those who don't want your child to ever shut the TV off. If nobody is watching, or the viewing is curtailed, these guys are in big trouble. At the same time , the researchers on brain development are worker bees trying to secure grant money from year to year. I wonder if Nickoldean or Disney has given very much grant money to researcher doing studies on childhood brain development and TV viewing? Or maybe the XBox guys are really generous benfactors of that research. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Seems like a no-brainer to me. No pun intended, of course. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
TV is still too young a technology to be trusted with unlimited acess to the pliable, developing delicate organs that are my kids brains. So sue me, sue me, what can ya do me...
 

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I guess it all is experience that colors how we feel about this.<br><br>
DH was raised with no TV, health foods (no junk or sweets). I was raised the opposite.<br><br>
Our experience is that he and all sibs are indeed obsessed with TV and Sweets (but not other junk food, they otherwise eat very healthy)<br><br>
I am not that into TV, though I watch sometimes, and I am not that into sweets (unless its chocolate) but do not eat as healthy as he does.<br><br><br><br>
My kids really do self limit TV. They have been home much of today due to rainstorms and have not even turned on the tV.
 

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I think if a child is disrespected- whether it be about TV, food, books or emotions, they will seek to rebel, as they are full of anxiety and anger.<br><br>
None of the families in this thread is 'forbdding' TV. They are looking towards balance, with legit concern over early brain wiring.<br><br>
Nothing good can ever come from disrespecting a child with a<br>
"My way or the highway" attitude. That will not lead to loving, mutually respectful relationships.<br><br>
Nobody here is considering that approach.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Denise K</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">there is no way to figure out a perfect plan that is going to "work out" the way you want for every kid. So just do what seems best, with good thinking and compassion behind it, and hope for the best. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the word <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:
 
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