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Discussion Starter #1
I am so happy to be posting on here. It has been 4 years of wanting and waiting, then finances, then my health. But thank God my health has turned around so we are going for it! We have decided to adopt first, regardless of if we decide to have biological DC down the road.<br><br>
July 1st we are attending an orientation to foster-adopt through Riverside County. Anyone have experience with the system in this county? Any advice? We are hoping to get set up for a strictly terminated rights situation for an infant. But I know that may take awhile so we will consider opening our hearts to other scenarios several months down the road if we still don't have a placement.<br><br>
I know we are probably up for a long process, but even if it is a year or so I am so excited to finally be starting (considering I didn't know if I would ever be healthy enough for children)!
 

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It will likely be a long wait since most infants don't have their parents rights terminated that quickly, come into care with siblings, and/or are adopted by their foster parents. But, I wish you the best, though.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Yeah I know, but I feel like even if it is 2 years I am just happy and thankful to be starting, and that we will be parents at all. We probably will end up in another situation (older child or even sibling group) but can't hurt to try and hold out hope for an infant for a little while. I just have heard in our county there are literally orphanages with several minority infants because they can't find homes for them.
 

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We did a foster-adopt in Oakland, CA. My daughter is now nearing 3. she was placed with us at 1 month old, with the plan that she would be placed with relatives out-of-state. That fell through, and since we were a concurrent placement, we were able to immediately begin the process to adopt. It was not complicated, but it did take almost exactly a year.<br><br>
Anyway, in Oakland there were so many babies available. We had self-selected 2 and under, and we received numerous calls for placement of newborns. The first call we had, they said likely adoption when we took the placement. That changed 2 days later, and he was a short-term placement (9 weeks). We had another baby for 24 hours, one for 6 weeks, and then our 4th placement was our DD.<br><br>
So, in Oakland I always told people your chances for an infant are pretty good, but if you're willing to do concurrent placement they are even better.
 

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OP, if what you're hoping for is a healthy infant, I think it's wise to be open to pre-TPR placements right from the get-go. You'll have to talk to your social worker about it, and maybe things are different where you are than where I am, but around here I would not expect to be matched with a healthy newborn in anything like a reasonable timeframe if I wasn't willing to go through the TPR torture.<br><br>
There's always risk. The SW can say "probable TPR" and be wrong. She can say "probable TPR" and be LYING, because her job is to place a newborn in a good environment and your house fits the bill. I'm just sayin' - if I wanted to adopt my first child, and I had the choice between feeling the pain up front in the TPR process and feeling it later on as I coped with special needs or emotional issues resulting from abuse/neglect or multiple foster placements over the course of a short life, I'd choose the upfront ordeal.<br><br>
We're adopting an older child, so obviously I'm not unwilling to deal with special needs and behavioral/emotional issues resulting from a tough life. But where you're at right now - first-time parent, wanting to raise a child from babyhood - that's a different place to be at. It would be really wonderful if your baby could come right from the hospital to your home and never have to switch caregivers. But providing that would entail some legal risk, and you might have more than one baby placed with you before a case goes to adoption.<br><br>
Best of luck to you!
 

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We're in the process... Can tell you more in a year or so.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks for all the insight, Mommas! I feel encouraged for the journey. So July 1 for orientation...just a month away now can't believe it! We are going into it with more of an open mind now (as in open to some temporary situations). We acknowledge it will probably not be easy, but more than worth it.
 

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The way the process works, if you are only open to kids who have already been TPRed, I think you're going to wait a long time or never get what you want. It usually takes longer than a year to do a TPR, so the kid is going to be at minimum probably a year old, perhaps 2 or 3, minimum. If you are willing to take a kid as a foster kid and have some uncertainty about whether s/he goes back, your chances are good of getting an infant, but you may go through several kids before that happens.<br><br>
Good luck!
 
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