[ewink]

Hi all,

I don't post here that often but I do read a lot on here.
I just accidentally found a big (mostly full, but opened) bottle of KY jelly in my DH's car, under the driver's car seat, wrapped in paper towel and then in a clear plastic bag. I was looking for something else in his car, not snooping. He's not at home right now.
We have been having some problems, although lately I thought things were a little bit better. We've had some issues with me getting upset over him watching too much porn in the past. I know he still does it, but hides it. Occasionally I suspect that he might be having an affair, but then think I'm just being paranoid, although he did admit to almost go look to having an affair less than 2 years ago.

Please tell me there's another explanation for him having that in his car than that's he's indeed having an affair. I'm a little afraid of confronting him about it, especially right now. He'll most likely get very angry, and he's not been feeling well the last few days, even ended up in the ER on Friday with chest pain and very high blood pressure. He seems to be somewhat better but still isn't feeling "right".

HELP!!!

 

[fek&fuzz]

He could just be using it by himself.

 

[jess_paez]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fek&fuzz He could just be using it by himself.

that's possible! but if you confront him soon i would not ask him "are you using this for yourself or are you having an affair?"
just ask what it's for and get an explanation that way...any intelligent man would answer a yes to the first question and no to the second. ya know?

s i am sorry you have to wonder these things!!!

 

[Leisha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fek&fuzz He could just be using it by himself.

My first guess, too.

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[rhiandmoi]

Ask him about it a non-confrontational way. Like say "I was looking for XYZ in the car and found some KY. Should it really be stored in the hot car like that?"

 

[mysticmomma]

"Hey honey, I was looking for x in your car and came across this under your seat. I was kinda taken aback! Why do you have it in there?"

Keep it light and un-accusatory.

 

[SmoothieMom]

I think I'd take it and replace it with a framed wedding photo under the seat.

 

[mysticmomma]

I also wanted to say if you think someone is having an affair, maybe you should look into that feeling a little more.

 

[mysticmomma]

Smoothiemom

that's sneaky. I'd prob put the pic ontop though. If he's self stimulating for a sexual release, I wouldn't want to take that from him.

 

[fek&fuzz]

How is your sex and affection life otherwise? Is he getting his needs met outside of porn?

 

[rhiandmoi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mysticmomma "Hey honey, I was looking for x in your car and came across this under your seat. I was kinda taken aback! Why do you have it in there?" Keep it light and un-accusatory.

I agree, except I would leave out any Why questions until the discussion is already engaged. Why questions often feel accusatory even when they aren't if they are the beginning of the discussion.

 

[bigeyes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mysticmomma Smoothiemom that's sneaky. I'd prob put the pic ontop though. If he's self stimulating for a sexual release, I wouldn't want to take that from him.

My dh suggested putting a pic of his mother there instead.

 

[A&A]

condoms = affair

KY = takin' care of himself

But in the car? ewww..

 

[nolansmummy]

I'm thinking he's probably using it for himself, maybe couldn't think of anywhere inside the house to hide it?
I think like others suggested, if you are worried, or want to talk about it, bring it up casually, and see his reaction and take it from there. I wouldn't be worried yet.

 

[elsie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmoothieMom I think I'd take it and replace it with a framed wedding photo under the seat.

Yeah, or something that might not feel so good on sensitive parts

Sorry, but I tend to gravitate towards assuming the worse

 

[To-Fu]

My first thought was that he's using it for himself, too. I second the open-ended/light approach to asking him about it.

 

[claddaghmom]

In the car? Couldn't he face a fine/jail time or go down as a registered sex offender if caught?

 

[mamazee]

In the car? I'd be suspicious that something weird was up.

 

[claddaghmom]

Just briefly googled and Austin, TX popped up:

A misdemeanor: $4000 fine, a year in jail, or both

 

[SmoothieMom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elsie Yeah, or something that might not feel so good on sensitive parts Sorry, but I tend to gravitate towards assuming the worse

You mean like switch the KY for crazyglue or something?

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