[AmberLynn]

After a long month of eating everything in the house, falling asleep basically everywhere, and mood swings out of control, I discovered I am pregnant.

This was unplanned, and to me, a miracle. I am living with my boyfriend of a year, and we were planning on becoming engaged over christmas. The day after thanksgiving I find out I'm pregnant, WOOPS!

My partner and I thought having children was slightly out of the question, as he only had a 20% chance of ever impregnating anyone, and after 10 years of never having even a brush with pregnancy (and not necessarily being careful either..) I was retired to the idea we were incapable of becoming pregnant. But here I am! I took 3 tests the next morning and all came out positive. I am more than ecstatic. I have always wanted children, and have such a wonderful partner and best friend, I am very grateful.

My question is, due to the fact this was unplanned, and we had a huge year of wedding planning/honeymoons/etc my old man is feeling very panicked. He is reassuring me he will be behind me no matter what, and loves me unconditionally, but is worrying about money. Here in Las Vegas, our economy is really hurting do to the recession.. So as a bartender, im not making what I used to. He is a chef at the Wynn and has a very nice salary, and we own our home.. IS there anything I can say to him to calm him down?
So far, I've just been reassuring him, and letting him talk, soothing him almost like a child.
This will pass, right?! I want him to be as excited as me!

Thanks so much in advance.
AmberLynn

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[Reikagoth]

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Congrats!!!

Yeah, his fears should pass. You guys sound like you're doing pretty well regardless of the economy, so if anything, stash aside money now while you can. Tell him it's a 'rainy day fund' and have him stash aside, too... that way if things do wind up falling a little, you'll have a nice pillow to fall onto.

 

[esmicosaquehago]

Congratulations!

Owning your own home, I'd say you're ahead of the curve.

 

[KimProbable]

Congrats!! Babies can really be quite cheap, aside from the loss of income. People love to give gifts so you can make a really nice basic registry somewhere with all the essentials. Pretty much everything else can be bought second hand or skipped completely.

I think it's pretty typical for men to stress about money when there's a baby on the way, but hopefully you can sort out how little you need to spend so that it's less scary.

 

[chely7425]

Our first baby was a happy accident and we were in a terrible spot financially!!! I just started buying essentials slowly and saving as much as possible. It has all worked out!! Is there anyway to live off his salaray alone and put ALL your income into savings?

 

[Pavlovs]

I just wanted to throw in a quick "hello and congratulations" from a fellow Las Vegan. If I can manage a child and a baby on the way on a teacher's salary, I think you guys will do just fine with having a chef's and bartender's pay.

Things are slowing down a bit here in Vegas, but the tourists will never stop coming. I think your SO just needs some time to process the news.

 

[Logan's mommy]

Dh flipped out a little when I told him about ds2 being on the way. He's a teacher also (we live in the midwest though) and he works two jobs so I can stay home. We're making a house payment, a sizeable car payment and buying food for two dogs, a cat and three people. Just about everything was given to us second or third hand. All we've had to buy are diapers and wipes. We were given a crib, swing, pack and play (all of which have never been used), and a changing table. The crib we will use someday, as it can be turned into a twin size bed when we need it

 

[~Megan~]

Have a small wedding. I don't think you will regret it. I wish my wedding was much smaller and more intimate.

I think nearly all dads to be freak out a bit at the beginning. dh sure did but once each babe was born he was fully engaged as a dad.

 

[Megamum2008]

I agree that he'll get used to the idea, and calm down about it. We're in a pretty bad monetary situation these days, but not letting it get us down about the baby. As my sister tells me, there is never quite a right time to have a baby... but they happen anyways! I didn' t think I could get pregnant either, so I'm not letting our current money situation get me down about it! Money comes and goes, this baby is a major life changing miracle!
Oh, and since u work in a bar, just so you know, pregnancy is a huge tip-getter! My best friend worked in a bar throughout her pregnancy (I worked there too at the time) and she made a killing! We also did a baby pool for her, where people guessed when baby would come, at 2$ a guess... the boss provided I think a $10 bar tab for those who guessed right, and she got the money raised, over $600!
Anyways, congatulations!

 

[LibertyBelle]

Congratulations!

 

[Auraji]

Congratulations!

 

[AmberLynn]

Thank you so much for the kind words.

My next question is
I am without insurance. If we get married right away I can be added to his insurance, but will they cover the pregnancy as it's a "preexisting condition"?
If we don't "TELL" Them, can we get away with it?
A friend told me she signed up for insurance and is now paying 1000 a month (unbelievable people pay this amount of money for something thats PREVENTATIVE) for her and baby. Something which is way out of our realm of finance! He has insurance through the Wynn, and its the same company I had before I switched jobs. They didnt give me a physical or make me do any kind of testing and I was the primary. As a beneficiary do they do that as well?
If I can skirt it out to my 14th week (I am in week 5 now) think I can get away with it?

hahaha
I wont let the Man get me down! lol lol lol
-thanks again everyone!

 

[AmberLynn]

And as an update,
he is now more than onboard and about as excited as I am!
thank god for friends with children smackin some sense into him!!!

 

[JD5351]

The HIPPA act prohibits insurance companies from considering pregnancy a pre-existing condition.

Congratulations! My sweetie flipped out at first too, but now he is very excited for the baby. I'm 15 weeks now

 

[j_p_i]

Congratulations!

: Glad your DP is getting excited!!

 

[K&JsMaMa]

First, congrats!!!! What a miracle!

2nd, can you scale down the wedding? Weddings are such a stressful and expensive event and that's the last thing you need while growing a baby. In the end, you'll be just a married as anyone else...and with more money in your pocket and less bags under your eyes.

Good luck and congrats again.

 

[dearmama22]

yay! congrats!!!

:

We're expecting our first in March and sometimes I wonder how we'll ever pay for things! But, I trust in the Lord to take care of us.. it will all work out somehow!

Happy to hear that he is more excited now too!

 

[GradysMom]

there are some great books for men regarding "being pregnant". It might feel good to know he isn't crazy and that he isn't alone in feeling like there is so much to take care of.

Find him a good book or two so you are not the only resource on feeling less uneasy.

My dh had a great one but the name escapes me sorry.

 

[mbravebird]

Hi Papa,

Do you sometimes wonder if because of me there won't be enough? You know, not enough money, not enough time, not enough love? Well, lucky for you I come bearing the gifts of abundance! When I get there I'm gonna bring so much love, joy, and fun you're not going to know what hit you! And all those pesky little worries will just melt away. Oh, boy, we're gonna have a good time.

Putting on my party hat,
Bumpkins

(I got this note from:
http://www.lovefrombaby.com/)

 

[stealthmode]

I'm new around here, and I'm really glad you asked this question because I have similar worries. We haven't started TTC yet but we want to soon, and with the economy the way it is right now, I worry that it will keep getting pushed back even more! It's nice to have reassurance from others that the financial part is manageable.