Four Year Old with Self-Inflicted Information Overload?

746 Views 12 Replies 7 Participants Last post by avivaelona, Dec 9, 2008

jilly

Discussion Starter · Dec 6, 2008

No official "gifted"tag attached to my son, but he sure does love to absorb information. He loves to read this series of Grollier's kids encyclopedias that this older couple in our church has been giving us -- we' re reading them from front to back most days. Plus I picked up some old Snoopy Encyclopedias that I had been intending him to have when he was a bit older, but he found them and dragged them upstairs and likes to read through a lot of them, too (sometimes we only read a few pages and the snoopy comics, depending on how interesting the topic is).

But here's the thing. He started drawing people last month. For about two days he drew your typical beginning people -- head, body, arms and legs, eyes, etc. But then he started adding joints and bones and nerves and clothing details, and soon gave up drawing people and went back to scribbles.

this is just one example of what happens a lot -- his drive and ability to absorb information seems to get in the way of him actually being able to process and use the information around him and do "normal"kids stuff.

Should I be teaching him to pace himself, or following his interests and letting him sort it out at his own pace? Or am I getting too anxious?

The other thing I should add is that his dad tends to be the same. Never noticed as a very bright kid in school (got all B's) because he processes things slowly and systematically, but pushed through his BA and Masters in 5 years, then took 6 years of landscaping to process all the new ideas before he pursued a career relating to his studies. Then he took the rest of the schooling he "needed" 2 courses a semester. But he has an amazing depth of knowledge now and I always get told how smart he is.

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Roar

· #2 · Dec 6, 2008

I understand he's reading the encyclopedia and drawing and really enjoys it. I wasn't clear from your post what the potential problem was. Could you provide more information? You mentioned you are worried, what are you worried about? Does he seem happy?

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jilly

Discussion Starter · #3 · Dec 7, 2008

He seems pretty happy for him - he's a pretty intense, demanding, perfectionist. I don't know, he just doesn't seem to do the things I see other kids doing, or thinking about the things they are thinking about.

He doesn't draw people or representations things. Instead he draws intergallactic space battles that just consist of lines and squiggles and crayons smashed everywhere and ripped paper and holes punched everywhere. He doesn't cut playdoh out with cookie cutters or make little animals, he takes construction vehicles and constructs roads and garbage dumps.

Oh, I see what you mean. I guess when I describe it out loud, it doesn't really sound bad, just more . . . expansive. I guess I just worry because when I take him to the health nurse they ask questions like "Is he drawing a circle?" and I don't know becuase he's just not interested in drawing a circle.

I just worry about when he goes to school and he's given fill in the worksheet type assignments, and he draws galactic battles on them instead of copying the letter "A", KWIM?

And I worry that he is overstimulating himself with all this information and he won't be able to sort through it. I guess my question is, is it like with an infant, where he'll turn away or ask to stop reading if he's getting overstimulated, or do I have to make that call sometimes, like when overtired kids won't sleep.

Weird question, I know, but I do get worried.

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earthmama369

· #4 · Dec 7, 2008

DD (4) does this a lot. She just doesn't stop. She likes a lot going on around her, a lot of intellectual input, constantly. And then, every couple of months, she just vegs out for a few days. Doesn't want to leave the house, just wants to lie around and watch TV all day. And then she's back in the saddle and zooming off again.

It's just how she works. And in general, I'm ok with it, but we do emphasize learning how to identify our emotions and how our bodies are feeling with both kids, and how to do deep breaths, what relaxes us, etc. With a go-go-go, learn-learn-learn personality, it seems like a good set of life skills to have.

It's also part of the reason we've decided to homeschool. I don't think she'd have a lot of fun at school.

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eepster

· #5 · Dec 7, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by jilly

I guess I just worry because when I take him to the health nurse they ask questions like "Is he drawing a circle?" and I don't know becuase he's just not interested in drawing a circle.

DS never drew "a circle" either, but I I answer that question as "yes" since he draws "snowman heads" which are basically circular. (for some odd reason he does draw "triangles" though

) You mentioned that your DS had drawn people, assuming those people had heads then he has drawn circles.

Quote:

And I worry that he is overstimulating himself with all this information and he won't be able to sort through it.

If this is happening then there will be signs. Trouble sleeping and such.

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Roar

· #6 · Dec 7, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by jilly

Have you read much about giftedness? I would suggest this book: http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-.../dp/0910707790

If he's independently reading an encyclopedia as a four year old, then I think it is very safe to say he's gifted and that you may need to be prepared that there may be some challenges with fitting his needs in with conventional schooling. It is worth starting to think about that and checking into what your options might be.

As far as overstimulating himself - I think you need to separate out what part is just a general worry (like this isn't "normal" or what I expect a kid his age to do) and at is actually observing a problem (he's cranky, having bad dreams, etc.) If you are observing actual problems, I would try to treat to deal with those individually while accepting he's the person he is - he's going to draw messy battles and read things that many kids don't care about. Those are not inherently bad or worrisome things.

We found at certain points in early years we needed to set gentle limits and to encourage balance by for example suggesting it was time to go take a walk.

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jilly

Discussion Starter · #7 · Dec 7, 2008

Just to clarify --- he WANTS to read the encyclopedias all the time, but does not read himself; we read to him.

Roar -- I haven't read much on giftedness yet. I have hesitated to think of him as gifted because he doesn't fall into the doing-math-and-reading-himself-early category, which I have always assumed were signs of giftedness. He is a precocious talker and consumes information, and often refuses to do things more than once or twice once he "gets" it, and has a crazy imagination and ability to tell stories, but these are all pretty normal in my family -- many of my nieces and nephews were like that at his age as well.

I have been more concerned with trying to find resources to help me deal with his intensity and sensitivity and energy up to this point. Although if these are pretty common issues with gifted kids, then maybe that is where I need to be looking.

earthmama369 -- we do lots of deep breathing and listening to our bodies and learning to know when to stop and take a break, too. And he does the same thing -- go, go, go for about a month, then it is almost like he needs to reboot the system or something. He spends a few days just laying around staring off into space and being crabby, then he's back at it again.

We have had trouble in the past with nightmares and anxiety, but I have usually found the source of the problem (a too scary video that he insists he must watch is the usual culprit, or too much going on in dh and I's lives), and he is generally pretty content, so I guess I don't need to worry.

Thanks for all your re-assurances. It is good to know that some of my son's "oddball" traits are normal somewhere.

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EXOLAX

· #8 · Dec 7, 2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by jilly

And I worry that he is overstimulating himself with all this information and he won't be able to sort through it. I guess my question is, is it like with an infant, where he'll turn away or ask to stop reading if he's getting overstimulated, or do I have to make that call sometimes, like when overtired kids won't sleep.

The only time I would see it as a 'problem' would be in the above analogy. You mentioned he was a perfectionist. Our DD's have a tendency to shut down when hit with it, so we push, just a little, to help them get over that hump. Does he get obsessive with specific things (ie: gets frustrated to a point but won't stop leading to more frustration)? That's probably the only time I would worry, and I wasn't sure if that was the case or not.

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jilly

Discussion Starter · #9 · Dec 7, 2008

He's pretty good unless he's tired or I've been grumpy and impatient. Yesterday he was really tired and I had been sick all day, and he was trying to get his lego to go together, and he was crying because he couldn't get it just like he envisioned it in his head, but he refused to let me help him. Eventually he let me help him for a bit, but when he got frustrated again after that I made him put it away and take a break.

But in general he is learning to know his limits and move on to something else when he's tired or frustrated. He'll say, "I think I need to take a rest" or "I think I need a snack now" or he'll ask for some help.

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Roar

· #10 · Dec 7, 2008

Having that desire to learn, that persistence, that drive will be a fantastic thing as he gets older. I think you are the worst of it right now because the asychrony between what he can imagine and what he can make his hands do is the biggest it will ever be. I know the preschool situation with the legos is something I absolutely remember. While we had to live through that we are not at all going through the lack of motivation and disinterest that so many kids have as preteens are or teenagers. So, my advice is take a long term view and recognize this may be rocky and he will need some positive help and encouragement but in the long run these are great traits.

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Hannahsmummy

· #11 · Dec 8, 2008

I just thought I'd respond in regards to the concern about the way you see your son reacting to information, the drawing etc.

My daughter is artistically gifted and highly sensitive (god help me). She tends to get sensory overload quite frequently and also takes on lots of information that she need to process. Because she has a real need to sort this stuff out, it comes out in her art. It can ranges from anything like highly detailed intricate drawings to swirly frenetic patterns depending on what she's experienced.

I just wanted to suggest that you son may well be processing the information well and dealing with that through his play and art work.

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jilly

Discussion Starter · #12 · Dec 9, 2008

Roar -- thanks for the reminder. Its good to remember that things that are really difficult to deal with in a preschooler are often great traits in a teenager or adult.

Hannahsmummy -- that is a great insight. I don't know why it didn't occur to me, since I tend to process things through drawing or creating, too.

Thanks so much, everyone, for your insights. We live in a rural community right now, not close to any family. It is hard not to get anxious sometimes when your child is so far outside of the "norm" of the kids around you.

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avivaelona

· #13 · Dec 9, 2008

Jilly we are going through the same stuff with my son who is only a few months younger than yours. He also doesn't have any "typical" gifted stuff like early math or reading skills. I read here though because temperment wise he fits so much of the other stuff its just helpful.

right now we are actually getting him evaluated though because in addition he definitely has some sensory spectrum difficulties. He does "overload" and the same way your son does he won't draw people, but rather elaborate complicated compositions that don't seem realistic.

I don't really have any advice, but I wanted to let you know that I have similar worries, I do think it can create anxiety when a child is just stuffing himself with knowledge so insistantly...they can't always really process what they've learned, but trying to slow down the rate he tries to learn stuff doesn't work either.

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