[midwifetx]

I've been doodling around reading some UC sites and noticed in more than a few of the pictures of people's births that the "friends" or "doulas" who were there helping out (actively helping, not sitting in a corner) are midwives I know.

How would you feel if a client posted all about their UC on the internet when you did all the prenatal care and attended the birth and did postpartum care as usual? Would you want them as a client again? Would you ask about it, or just let it go?

ETA a small but important disclaimer: these sites were not linked through MDC and are not, as far as I can tell, any of the ladies from here.

 

[hippiemom]

In my experience, "unassisted" has several definitions depending on who you are talking to... one being that the midwife was present but didn't "do" anything. Other UC advocates would say that if a MW was there and/or she had outside prenatal care it was not a "true" UC.

?? Not my area of interest or practice (as I am a birth *assistant* and prenatal educator), but if it were my client I would ask about it just for clarification. I would also not want to be the MW in those pics if it was being advertised as UC, confusing....

 

[Hayes]

I don't know how I would feel, sinc eI'm not a midwife, but I would probably be pissed off. Not just fibbing a bit, but LYING publicly and saying that I jsut stood around and stared would probalby piss me off.

Maybe these are women like those who say they had a "natural" birth meaning a vaginal birth, not a drug free one.

 

[dewi]

You bring up an interesting observation that I also noticed as a general vibe on the mothering forums. Everyone seems into a lot of one-upmanship. The magazine letters and other alternative moms you met in the print community never ever had that vibe. I was a subscriber since I first got pregnant in 1985 until recent years. And a hippie with excellent alternative credentials, LOL.

Seems these days everyone dilutes or reclaims what birthing is about to fit what makes them comfortable or to stroke their ego. Look what happened to the word "natural birth" it has been hijacked and said by women who had an epidural. "Unassisted birth" does not usually include having friends, or a doula and midwives present, so be it, and let her say what she wants. Though it does eventually change the meaning, like natural birth meaning has changed in our culture.

To me what you describe is not an unassisted birth. We all know that historically it's UNcommon to birth alone and most women prefer to have others around even if the other women sit the corner knitting (exactly what a good homebirth midwife should be doing!) that is not an unassisted birth. To me what you describe is a homebirth with a good midwife and a nice party atmosphere. Sounds like fun. but not an unassisted birth! Not having prenatal care does not make it an unassisted birth.

And to answer your question I would not be comfortable to see a client again who was dishonest about her intentions about the birth. Let her know she can be honest with you and if you want, you can then take her on for only prenatal care and guidance.

The most well known and alternative way unassisted birth happened is to be alone or maybe have your husband around! I am old enough to remember before the internet when Laura Shanley book came out (she is the most popular of unassisted birth moms) and there was a newsletter for unassisted birth. Now we have the web and everyone jumps on the I'm more alternative and way out there then you nonsense (strangely the mothering forums seem to breed this competitive I'm more alternative then you mind set). Oh well.
;-)

Sorry, this is so long, thanks if you are still reading....

dewi

 

[BirthFree]

It'd be the "attended the birth as a regular midwife" that would be the kicker on making the UC claim not true. Prenatal and post-natal care are not included in the BIRTH.

Would I mention it? If we were together again, but I don't think I'd search them out to say something. Would I take them as a client again? Probably, but I would discuss the fact that if they DID want an unassisted birth that hiring me as a midwife for their birth (were I a midwife) would probably not accomplish this goal.

And you know, I didn't have my firstborn at home (I tried DARNED hard... almost 40 hours) but I say "he was born at home more or less" (and then add in the disclaimer that he wasn't really, but to me, in my heart, he was - heck after that long he might as well have been!

). Maybe it's just that the people you see were really *wanting* an unassisted birth or maybe they caught baby and that was (to them) unassisted?

 

[sapphire_chan]

Hmm, if those're UCs then I feel very smug about all the "organic" food I'm eating.

However, 40 hours labor is most definitely a homebirth. Just because the baby happened to finally come out somewhere other than home doesn't change that. So if the midwives were there at the last second because something unusual happened, then I could see those being UC births.

I like the term "knitting midwife birth," by the way.

 

[jlpetitte]

Quote:

Now we have the web and everyone jumps on the I'm more alternative and way out there then you nonsense

Yeah, this bugs me. Its like it doesn't matter how "alternative" people are; women still feel this need to compete with other women.

 

[mysticmomma]

Nuh-uh! I don't compete nearly as much as YOU do!

 

[aisraeltax]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dewi We all know that historically it's UNcommon to birth alone and most women prefer to have others around even if the other women sit the corner knitting (exactly what a good homebirth midwife should be doing!) that is not an unassisted birth.

that was MY MW!!! for my 30+ hour labor she knitted an entire scarf!!! but hey, im not out to win any awards. i was just happy to have a "natural" birth.

 

[midwifetx]

I'm made baby hats, afghans, baby blankest, scarves, potholders, washcloths...I crochet, though, because I can't count well enough to knit

 

[cathicog]

Quote:

Originally Posted by midwifetx How would you feel if a client posted all about their UC on the internet when you did all the prenatal care and attended the birth and did postpartum care as usual? Would you want them as a client again? Would you ask about it, or just let it go?

I think I would say something to them along the lines of " it really isn't honest to say you had a UC if there are mws there." Now if the mw was on the way, and you had the baby before she got there, yes. But the very definition of Unassisted is birth with no professional medical help, and a mw presence cancels that out. And I would hesitate (I think) to take them on as a client again, if they would be that dishonest. I would rather they be upfront and say, "we are considering a UC." I say, OK, what preparation have you done. What books have been read, etc. Are you prepared to deal with an emergency, and if so, how? If not, what is your backup plan? Then we work out the details of a pp visit. BUT and this is important, I would ask them if it is money issues that are prompting the UC...I would try to work with people, but if they want to do it themselves, they need to let me know ahead of time, and not just call, then decide not to pay because they didn't have me there....that has happened to a couple mws I know...

and something else to consider, is if something goes south with their UC, the midwife gets the blame, not the parents!

 

[Maprilynne]

I have an associate who claims she had a UC because although she had full prenatal care and the midwife and two doulas were there, she is the one who caught the baby. I just rolled my eyes.