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Freaking out a little....ok A LOT

692 Views 7 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  4given2
Well, DH just got layed off from his job today. We kind of saw this coming and he does have a job interview in two weeks. But... I am freaking out about about the possibility of having to go back to work.. I love staying home with dd and the thought of spending less time with her really kind of makes me sick.. I just really needed to say this in a place where I feel that people will get how I am feeling. Most of my friends and family don't really get why its such a big deal for me to go back to work.. I really hope that DH will get this new job and that this will work itself out, but the not knowing is driving me crazy! I dont think I even realized just how much I enjoy being a SAHM until this happened.
Thank you for letting me vent.. I really needed to do it in a kind and understanding place...

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We've been there. It can be rough sometimes, but you will be OK and figure it out (with a little creativity sometimes)
. Hopefully he will get thet job and things will continue as normal. Hang in there.
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I actually had a bad dream last night about going back to work...I took two jobs and then realized I didn't want to go to them because I wanted to be with DD! I guess my subconsious was telling me I made the right choice in staying home

Anyway I can relate to how you're feeling. I hope you don't have to start working again...but even if you do I'm sure you'll find a way to remain an attached, loving, and involved mama.
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I know exactly what you mean. To me, too, the thought feels like the end of the world. Overly dramatic, I know, and so I don't share it with many people either.

everything may still work out. I hope you won't be too worried in the meantime!

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It must be stressful right now. Your DH has an interview and hopefully he will be back to work soon.

I think it wouldn't be going back to work per se that is the hard part, but it would suck having to leave DD during the day. That's how I felt when DS was in part-time day care from 10 wks - 10 mos. It killed me to drop him off. He does so well now that he has a consistent level of care.

My thoughts are w/ your family. Good luck!
Thank you for all the kind replies. I knew the mammas on this list would understand. Dh has been able to get a lot of contract work so he can at least do that if he had to. I think his interview will go well. Its more a matter of how much money they will be willing to give him then anything else. The one thing that I feel good about is that we are both committed to keeping dd out of daycare. Even if I have to go back to work, it will be part time and one of us will be home with dd. I still don't want to go back to work, but at least knowing that dd will be with dh makes me feel better. Thanks again for all the support!

Wishing your husband the BEST in the interview and I hope you are able to continue SingAH with DD uninterrupted!!!

As a sort of 'pick-you-up' (I hope... I've been misinterpreted lately
), I'd like to share some stuff that's happened in the last year with me and my fam.

Ok, so DH graduated in May. He had what seemed like a REALLY great job quite soon after graduating and worked there for around 2 months. One night he came home early and told me he was fired. I was shocked, but had sort of had a feeling that something upsetting would happen that night. I heard the story of how it happened from him and, really truly, it was not his fault at all - his X-boss does coke and is emotionally unstable... we actually think the man was intimidated by my DH... anyway... so, DH went back to a restaurant that he'd worked at previously - less money, but also less time so he could look for another job.

He actively began looking for a better positon with better pay (striving to advance his career as well as support our fam) and I started to think that I should start working again. (I'd quit my teaching job that March because I was extremely depressed, having anxiety attacks, and panic attacks - all of which were caused by leaving my baby... I know this because they completely disappeared within a week of becoming a SAHM.) I felt sick... I mean, physically ILL, thinking about going to work and leaving DD and the whole time I was looking for that kind of work I would feel jittery and ill. So I started to look for WOH or WAH opportunities, but still felt out of sorts as a result - it felt as if I should just NOT try to do either. This went on for quite a few months (around 4-6).

Finally, I told my Father in Heaven in a very long and tear filled prayer that I felt he was just expecting me to put it all on him - to increase my humility or something, but I confessed that I wasn't at all sure and I didn't really understand why He might want that of me. (I definitely think it was to increase my humility now... I didn't think of myself as prideful, but I really was in many ways that I can much more easily and readily see through the 20/20 or hindsight!)

Anyway... it was a VERY difficult time (the 4-6 months) because I took so long to get to that point. I mean, we were eating only food from our garden and that which was given to us by my church (we could have received medicaid, but I didn't want to deal with the buerocracy(sp) and in my religious belief system you try to avoid gov't help as much as humanly possible).

I truly believe that the Lord was waiting to help us until I gave it over to Him... but am not trying to say it IS the case for you, just something to consider. I believe this sooo strongly because DH actually got a job within a week of me giving over my fears, frustrations, and efforts to control of the situation to my Lord!!! TRULY! Some might say he would have gotten the job even if I had not prayed, but I disagree because he'd been working on getting that one position for at least a month before my talk with The Father and basically nothing was resolving. In ONE conversation he had with the hiring guy after I prayed he had the job! It's a faith thing, though, so if you disagree that's totally cool, too.

This job hasn't been the most wonderful, but he's moving to a new positon that really looks like it will be a sort of dream-come-true situation for a new chef who is family oriented! And it wouldn't have been available in the way it currently is at the time that DH started the job he will now be leaving.

I guess, my long story is to express my belief that the Lord has really wonderful plans for us. And I TRULY believe that He wants as many mamas to be home with their babies as is possible. Sometimes he tests our resolve to maintain this situation with things that come up and experiences of life, but all will be as it should as long as we have faith, IMHO.

Now, I'm really NOT trying to start any religous debates or anger anyone who feels that I'm attacking their situation. That is NOT the case at all... just sharing MHO.

gribbit, I DO believe all will work out for your best benefit and I hope that you will be able to see and feel it sooner than later! Best wishes!!!
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This is really something. I was just looking at the various threads and I came across this one. My DH was layed off last month and I am a SAHM as well. I have four children and my youngest is around the same age as your oldest. I have been a SAHM for 7 1/2 years. I totally know what you are going through. I have times when I freak out as well. It is the whole thing of not being in control. Not being able to plan simple things as planning what the kids are going to do for the summer or where we will be living. We currently live in Minnesota, but we are originally from Chicago. We moved here 2 years ago because of my DH's job, and now we don't know if we will be moving back to Chicago or staying here. Of course, family wants us to move back to Chicago, but that is new home, new schools, new everything.

One thing that really brings me through tough times like the PP said is the power of prayer. When things are out of my control I depend on the ONE who is in control.

My husband has an interview tomorrow with a company. It is a contract job. This would be nice because we can have some money coming in, but we can also focus on our dream of real estate investment. My husband is a licensed mortgage broker(side job) and I just passed the real estate licensing exam to become a realtor. Our vision is to own rental properties and have a steady cashflow coming in, and offer our renters discount on closing cost if my husband finance their mortgage and I find them a home.

I don't look at this lay off as an obstacle, but an opportunity. Much SUCCESS on your future endeavors. Your family is my prayers. Just keep holding on. This too shall pass.
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