. I just contacted my OB and, once again, she left me feeling freaked-out and paranoid. If I go with what she wants, I will be taking several blood tests over the next week (just to check hcg levels, which I know will go back to zero eventually anyway) and then possibly going off-island to see a specialist to find out what's going on with my body.
I honestly don't like the feeling I get from westernized dr.'s and I'm contemplating whether I should move forward with it or not. I contacted my midwife and am waiting for her to call me back because I want her opinion and advice. I am also contemplating using natural progesterone cream (otc from health food store) after I ovulate next time we ttc because that is supposed to help (I'm 37). Another option is to look into a homeopath or naturopath, or chinese medicine, all of which are available to me here. I just don't know whether I trust westernized medicine enough.... Also, I want to trust my body. I don't want to mess with nature and end up with multiples or something, or at least with a lot of artificial drugs in my body and a messed-up mind because of all the trauma and intervention (and loss of trust in my body).
Not sure where I'm going with this. I guess it would just really help to be heard by others who know...
Keep in mind that technocratic medicine has it's place. I think hormone level testing as well as other metabolic panels, thyroid testing, etc, is valuable. If nothing else, it can help you identify the areas that need work, and then it can help you decide whether to work with complementary medicine, technocratic medicine, or both.
I had a lot of suggestions made to me after my second loss--some I'm glad I went along with, others, I wish I had listened to my instincts and refused.
I'm glad I went for some blood tests--they were the least instrusive and gave some valuable information. Even if you don't use western treatments, it may be useful to have that info. Other testing I refused as it was too intrusive and led down a road I didn't want to travel. I accepted one intervention that I regret--I had great misgivings, but went with it because I so wanted a baby.
On the progesterone, if that turns out to be an issue for you, there are studies that show that the vaginal suppositories result in a higher uterine progesterone level than do the creams or oral treatments. I can find that for you if you want...something to think about.
But, you don't need to make any decisions right now. You can give yourself time to heal and grieve. Plus, any testing of your hormone levels would have to wait until you're cycling again anyway. (Aside from the hcg going down, which, as you said, it will eventually.) You do have time to sort this out.
Oh Mama, just saw this. I am so sad and disappointed for you. I wish this wasn't happening again.
I believe in a holistic approach that can balance both traditional western and other approaches. Diagnostics can give you valuable information and there additional treatments help traditional approaches.
Oh Mama, I hope you heal and that you find useful answers to help.
Well, it's not over yet and I don't know what to do with myself. I thought I miscarried last Wednesday because I had a bout of heavy bleeding for the day, but then it completely stopped after the day (no tissue, no placenta like last time). So I read about subchorionic hematoma and thought that maybe that was it. I saw the OB on monday (after waiting over an hour in a tiny sterile-but-gross exam room
, with high-hopes of the hematoma, only to listen to her tell me it probably wasn't good and that it may be ectopic or a number of other bad things that burst my bubble. I took a bloodtest monday and it was in the 20,000 range. I took another today and it is only around 22,000. It should have doubled according to the OB
. So I go in for an ultrasound tomorrow. I was told they wouldn't tell me what's going on so I will wait in the waiting room until they discuss it with the OB then let me know, if I'm lucky.
SO, I'll be looking and hoping for a heartbeat tomorrow, in it's own womb, not ectopic. Ugh. This is worth it only if it has a happy ending...
Ughh! I am really sorry for this too. I am having a second miscarriage. It is never easy and the disappointment is never less.
You sound like a mama who knows what she really wants. Keep breathing. You've gotten sound advice about the progesterone and the use of labs etc. I am in a very similar position. And my best is advice, is really follow your instincts.
I am planning on using the prog. suppository next time. I am in the process of continuing loosing weight (as 15+ lbs is sure to help my 'systems' work efficiently). And I am seeking alternative therapies. I will be having labs drawn as needed. My doctor isn't really "on board" with all of this (I'm sure he thinks I'm a bit whacked but he needs that) but is willing to let me take the lead. I think he's so thrilled that I'm commited to weight loss, he'll just take the rest.
This has been a journey of trusting my self above others and that is really hard. Trusting my body to be able to this --- even more challenging. I have one son who will be 5 8/29, so I know that I can go to full term.
And my instincts have told me when I was pregnant and when I wasn't, before any labs did. At one time, that was painful for me to be so connected to my body. But this time, I am feeling more centered. I do know that I'm sure to cry on and off for a while and this is not just ok but good. I want to release all that pain.
I just totally identify with you. And I'm sending you all the support I can manage thru the airwaves right now. We can email off list if you want.
Again, so sorry. Peace and calm to you and your heart,
I went in for the u/s and, after a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions (I thought it was a blighted ovum until the vaginal u/s), there was a teeny tiny baby with a voracious heartbeat. I am so relieved! I have a 4x2x3cm subchorionic hematoma, I think it's called. And it's right next to the baby
. But the dr. said she has had mamas who carried to full-term with hematoma's 3 times that size, so I am definitely staying positive and hoping the baby keeps growing and staying very healthy.
Thanks again Mamas. You're support has been sooo helpful.