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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The first tri is SO scary you guys!
I mean, all of pregnancy and motherhood has scary parts, but for me this is hard to take, probably because of the intense first tri hormonal edge that amplifies my anxiety.

So a week ago, probably at roughly 4 weeks, I had some light brown discharge. There was very little and only when I wiped, plus maybe a ring spot on my pad (I immediately put on a pad, assuming the worst had happened and I would start bleeding soon). It only lasted 24 hrs and it was, like I said, incredibly light.

Today I have lower back ache and *might* have seen the tiniest minuscule pinprick of brown-tinged mucus but I also think my eyes could have been playing tricks on me cause I'm so frightened and on edge.

I had no brown discharge or spotting with my first 2 pregnancies, and I've been so freaked out ever since that happened a week ago.

Obviously I would love to be able to just call my midwife and be seen but I am out of state visiting family til the 3rd of January. I could pay some massive out-of-pocket fee to get an early u/s here but I'm also only about 5 weeks so don't even think they'd see anything conclusive. I just have to wait til I get home. I also want to avoid early u/s unless it's absolutely necessary (which I guess it might be with how scared I am).

I guess I just need some support and reassurance.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
"tiny spot" not "ring spot".
 

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Brown indicates old blood. Bright red blood might be concern. It sounds like you're OK.

With the anxiety and sickness, the first trimester is the worst. I wish there were some words of wisdom that could make it better. Hang in there.
 

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So sorry you are having scary moments. I wish I had advice, but I freak out over everything and still haven't figured out how to handle it all myself!
 

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After a bad experience with a doctor last week telling me, based on nothing, that I had virtually no chance of carrying to term, I really get your anxiety. I feel right now that this entire pregnancy is just going to be one long wait to miscarry (I'm 40). At least that's what the doctor and most of what I am reading tell me. Add some wicked hormones in and this is a recipe for disaster. And, like you, I'm stuck at my in laws' house in n another state! I just want to sleep, cry, and eat, but we don't want to tell them I'm pregnant (because all we hear is don't get your hopes up) so they think I'm just being a jerk. In any case, I also had super light tan spotting for about a day and was terrified, but now I realize all I can do is wait and try to stay hopeful. I don't want my first time doing this, which was s supposed to be joyous and astonishing, to be nothing but darkness. But it's hard. Love to you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Oh sjbr what a hideous and horrifying Doctor experience! What the hell!!

Thanks for your replies ladies. I am just feeling so on edge and frightened, then telling myself that those feelings are a "sign" that something will go wrong. However I'm also prone to anxiety during pregnancy and maybe I felt this scared with my others too? I just don't know. I want this baby so badly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I called the nurse at the hospital where I had my son and her exact words were "yeah I'm not worried about you at all". She offered to do hcg levels but only to help me feel better, she did not think it was necessary. I'm feeling so relieved and glad I called.
 

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So glad you are doing better!!
 

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I completely understand! I've been working hard to be at peace, visualize baby growing perfectly and trust that everything is going as it should. I had a chemical pregnancy the cycle before this one, and I'll be a first time mom, and I'm also prone to anxiety. Hasn't been easy. Positive affirmations and meditation have really helped me. There's a particular guided meditation that I really like:


I also am avoiding any early scanning, and it is hard! I just want some tangible evidence that our little one is doing well. January 26 is our next appt with the mw, I'll be 12 1/2 weeks so we *should* hear the heartbeat. Cannot wait!

Stay strong mama.

@sjbr that sounds like a terrible experience with your doctor. You need positivity right now! I realize the risks are higher at 40, but that in now way means you won't have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby. I, for one, will be your cheerleader! Can you see a different doctor? One that will be more supportive?
 
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