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It sounds like a difficult situation.
I have always had a "free access" kind of visitation -- and, my X of course, does NOT take advantage of it.
I think it can work well if it works for both parents & for the kids as well. If it's disruptive to the kids, I think a schedule would be better (with the understanding that if any extra time works for everyone, it can still happen). A schedule to me, can be very flexible too, but also gives general guidelines & boundaries that everyone is comfortable with.
It's a tough one though.
I never wanted to be the one to "limit" their access, yet if it wasn't working for any of us, I guess I'd have to do something to make it work better.
I don't think I've offered any help -- just know I care.
Good luck.
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