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How often did you "get it on" in the first year?

  • Several times a day!

    Votes: 19 12.2%
  • On average once a day.

    Votes: 34 21.8%
  • On average 3-6 times per week.

    Votes: 47 30.1%
  • On average 1-2 times per week.

    Votes: 41 26.3%
  • On average 2-3 times per month.

    Votes: 11 7.1%
  • On average once a month or less.

    Votes: 4 2.6%
  • Other

    Votes: 3 1.9%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a friend who has been married 8 months and her partner only really wants to "get it on" maybe twice a month. She's having a hard time with feeling like it's because of her (I'm sure it's not). He works long hours and I'm sure that's part of it. Anyway, I told her I didn't think twice a month was totally abnormal, but maybe a bit on the low side for a couple with no kids and married less than a year. I also told her I could post a poll if she wanted since she didn't believe me. I know it was much more often than that for myself and dh. So, is that normal?
 

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Dh and I have been married 4 years, together for 5 and we *do it*
: about 3 times a week still., sometimes more if hes on vacation.

When we were newlyweds it was about that too. But thats just us.
 

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Yike.. when we were newly married we did it several times a day, sometimes only once a day, but AT LEAST once a day.

Now (when he is not deployed) we do it 3-4 times a week after 6 years of marriage.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Carol, we did it on average once a day for at least 6 months. Then we may have backed down to 3-6 times a week until after dd was born (2 years into our marriage). We average 1-2 times per week now.
 

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Quote:
we've been married a bit over a year, we are 5-6 times a week.
im jealous. lol

I *would* DTD everyday, but dhs health isnt great so sometimes he cant, even though he might *want* to.
 

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We have been married almost 8 years and still do it at least once a day, twice on weekends. We have the occasional day off if one of us is sick.

And this is even with hubbies 80 hour, on-call schedule! :) So I don't think working alot is a valid reason personally.

As newlyweds, 4 times a day was normal and 6 wasn't unheard of. Oh for younger days! LOL

I think that everyone has a different sexual need and what is normal for one, is abnormal for another. Your friends amount might be perfectly normal for her. However, if she is wanting more physical contact then she is getting, then what she is getting is abnormal for her and she needs to figure out if more is possible.

with very happy smiles
 

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we aren't married, but in the first year living together...man....many times a day...

Has she asked him what the deal is? Has she told him she wants it more than that? What reason does he give? Even if he has to work long hours- I assume he does get more than 2 days off in a month right? If I were her I would be extremely upset. 2 times a month ain't gonna cut it here.
 

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my DH and I have always been 'low key.' it's more often than twice a month, but when both of us were working like crazies, it was probably about like that. We're very cuddly though. so, we're affectionate and always have been.
 

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For the first two years, we did it every day, sometimes multiple times! The only reason it slowed down was the nursing on my end (no drive). We've rebounded, were back to 3-4 times a week, then it tapered down again. Right now, we're at 1-2 times a week. It would be more, but we're dealing with bc issues. (I won't take the pill and dh has to wait until next summer to get a V.) We've been married for 4.5 years, together for nearly 6.

If we'd been married for 8 months and were having little sex, I'd be concerned. I realize people have different sex drives, but if one half is left wanting, you've got to find a compromise somehow.
 

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i answered other.
i was on anti-depressants for most of the first year of our marriage that had the side effect of zero libido. we had been like bunnies before then, so i think our first year isn't representative (especially considering when not on meds or immediatly post-partum, we tend to average 4 or 5 times a week!).
 

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For the first 2 years of marriage it was a couple of times a day.

After we had a baby it dropped to several times a week.

After 10 years of marriage it still couple of times a week.
:

Dh works long stressful hours
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
mum2a&a, I'm kind of feeling the same way when she asks me about this. She's concerned about him being into internet porn which would explain his lack of sex drive. I told her she needs to talk to him. She has told him on many occassions that she would enjoy more frequent sex and he says okay, but then it doesn't happen. The other problem is that she doesn't know how to initiate, so she waits for him to. She was kind of hoping that this poll would show that only a couple times a month is completely normal, but clearly it's not, at least not in the first year.
 

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When we first lived together, almost every day. When we finally got around to being legally married we had a newborn, so, um, not so much. Few times a month maybe?
But it sounds like she would really benefit from initiating!
 
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