friend is pregnant...

I had this happen with my bff about 5 yrs ago. We were hoping to be pg togeter but my cycle returned before hers did. I had my m/c at 12 1/2 wks. exactly one week later she found out she was pg. I then had a second m/c at 6 wks the entire time watching her be pg. It was excruciating to say the least but our friendship was very important to me so I did everything that I could to try and be a part of her life and her pregnancy. I even did her belly cast wondering if I was going to be able to have one done (she did do my cast for me when I became pg with ds3). It was hard but it wasn't her fault that we weren't able to be pg together. I think she struggled with it a bit as well as she was at my m/c and it was very traumatic and she wanted us to be pg together as much as I did.
I am sorry that you are going through this, I know it is so painful. Hang in there and don't do more than you can handle but do what you can. Your friend might be hurting really bad about it as well.

This is so hard. It happened with me, too. One of my very best friends is pregnant with her second. Our first two are only 9 days apart and are super good friends. She got pregnant and, amazingly, so did I 7 weeks later. The amazing part is that I am 42 and got pregnant after only 2 months. I knew there was a danger of m/c, but it just would have been so great. She is now about 25 weeks or so.

The thing I did was decide I would be part of her joy. It might or might not help that I was "only" 7 weeks when I miscarried. I don't know if that had anything to do with it. It's probably partly because, like theboysmama, this friendship means so very much to me. And we both were very honest about how it could be difficult. And she baked me brownies the day I miscarried and talked to me about it forever. But the fact is, she is still pregnant and I am not and sometimes that is still very painful. I do notice she doesn't bring up her pregnancy and all its attendant appointments and what not; not as much as I think she would if I was still pregnant, given how much we talk about everything else together. She's really subtle about that, too; all to her credit. Now I try to remember to ask her, because I'm genuinely interested and pretty okay about it now.

But I am determined to be part of her new little one's life, whether I have another one of my own or not. I think it's gonna sting a little, though. And I still have days like you, where it's just sucky that the great thing didn't happen and the crappy thing did. I want that other reality, too.