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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a friend with a 7 month old baby who has a family crisis overseas. They haven't got a passport for the baby, and she needs to leave pretty much immediately (in a couple of days). What would you recommend for a mom to do if she can't take her baby (I don't know how long) and is still breastfeeding quite a lot?

I don't know what I would do in this situation, either. All my family is in the same country as I am.
 

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Wow. I don't know what I would do in that situation. But I wouldn't be able to leave my 7 month old. It's just not something I can do. How long would it take to get the baby a passport?
 

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oh my... first of all, there's NO way she can take her baby?

I would absolutely die without my kids, even for a few days, but if I were in her case...
does she have a stash in her freezer? I have built mine up and I could probably keep my son on it for a while.. if she does, then she could give her the frozen bm and pump while away. IF NOT, does she know anyone that could pump for him?
If not, then maybe she could give him formula and pump while away, so she keeps her supply up and is able to resume nursing as soon as she comes back?
I am a big advocate for bf'ing ofcourse but if there's no way she can feed her baby bm, then she could do that and resume breastfeeding when she returns..

's to your friend.. I can't imagine how hard it will be for her...

's
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Wow, quick replies, Thanx!

No, I don't think she has any spare milk in the freezer. My baby is 1 month younger, I don't know if she'd accept me to offer to pump for him but he'll likely be left with grandma in another state, so that wouldn't work anyway ... I don't know how citizenship works--dad is US, mom is on greencard, I think. But my own passport took many weeks to get; even a rush takes a couple of weeks, I think. She doesn't have a couple of weeks!

So I'm mainly wondering how to encourage her to pump/if I should buy her an Isis to be able to pump and dump while overseas. I doubt she could bring her milk back--it will prob. take two days to get there in the first place.

Uck, I just don't think I could leave my baby ...
 

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Isn't there a way she can get him an expidited passport? I know it costs more, but it would be worth it to take the baby.
 

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also, does she HAVE to go? what if she doesn't? I know in my personal case, even if my closest relative died, I could not go anywhere without my babes.. can she just say no?

but ofcourse, it must be a very bad emergency for her to go...
and if you or someone else could pump great, if not, have her pump (and hopefully NOT dump) maybe she can carry a little freezer with her milk???
 

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If that baby is pretty much still exclusively breastfeeding, and hasn't been taking a bottle - she'll have a family crisis on her hands if she leaves that baby.

I'm sorry, but I think her first priority is to her baby. At this point, I don't think the issue is really about whether she can pump or get breastmilk to feed the baby - the issue is that the baby has is bonded to mom, and this will be a HUGE shock to baby.

Has she been away from baby ie is she working away from baby, and pumping/bottlefeeding already? If not, its going to be really hard on baby and its caretakers. Does it nurse to sleep?

I'm sorry, IMO her only choices would be expediated passport, or stay with baby.

(BTW, I had to leave my DD#1 when she was 9 months, for 52 hours. She had never used a bottle, but did use a pacifier. She and I both survived, but as the mother I am now, I would NEVER do that again. (I had to leave her for work committments))

Janice
 

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You can get a passport in 24 hours if you need to. I did this once when I lived in Boston although it was many years ago. If somehow the laws have changed (because of 9/11 or whatever), why not contact the country's diplomat/consulate here in the US and ask them for help.
 

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If she does decide to leave her babe (which I wouldn't do, personally), she needs a better pump than an Isis. She should rent a Medela Lactina or at least borrow a Pump In Style.

Better to bring baby or stay home.

Bec
 

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She can get an expedited passport. Same day serivce is available. A few days is plenty of time. She can use a service, or go online and follow the directions for expedited passports.

If not, she should NOT go. I don't care what happened. It's going to be horrible for mother and baby if she does. No way around it.

http://travel.state.gov/passport_expedite.html

If it's life or death (someone dying), they usually can do a same day or next day appt.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice in Canada
If that baby is pretty much still exclusively breastfeeding, and hasn't been taking a bottle - she'll have a family crisis on her hands if she leaves that baby.

I'm sorry, but I think her first priority is to her baby. At this point, I don't think the issue is really about whether she can pump or get breastmilk to feed the baby - the issue is that the baby has is bonded to mom, and this will be a HUGE shock to baby.

this is exactly what I wanted to say but I didn't want to sound judgemental, but ITA with Janice on this one!
 

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I would only do it if
1) there is absolutely no way to get an expedited passport for the baby (it sounds like there is!)
2) Baby has already been taking a bottle just fine
3) Baby has tried formula and mom knows that the baby can tolerate it. I would NOT want to give formula for the first time when mom's not around and formula is the only choice. What if the baby has a reaction to it and needs to be put back on breastmilk?
4) She has a good double-electric pump (and she will need a battery pack and LOTS of batteries, or a European power transformer), and the time to pump every few hours round the clock.
5) Baby is used to the occasional separation from mom
6) Mom has a way to keep the milk cold and bring it back to the States.
7) Mom will be gone less than a week.

My manager pumped for her baby for a year and took the occasional business trip to Europe. It can be done. Her freezer stash was good but she had to supplement just a little with formula when she would go away for 4 days or more. But her baby was used to being apart from her because she worked anyway. Baby stayed at home with dad, in a familiar environment with his familiar routines. So it was no major trauma for anybody. Your friend's trip has potential to be unduly hard on both her and the baby! I wouldn't want to deal with all those worries about feeding and caring for my baby on top of a family crisis...

Can you let us know what she decides to do? I hope she and her family will be okay - I can only imagine that it's something really bad to force this kind of urgency for her to go overseas! Hugs to her!
 

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I'm confused. Is the mother a citizen of the country she is going to? Because if she is, isn't the child automatically a citizen there, too?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bekka
...But my own passport took many weeks to get; even a rush takes a couple of weeks, I think...

You can get a passport in one day. It takes all day and costs more money, but it can be done. I've known several people who have done it.
 

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"I'm confused. Is the mother a citizen of the country she is going to? Because if she is, isn't the child automatically a citizen there, too?"

I believe this has to do with the specific country. Some countries allow
people to have dual US/other country citizenship and others do not allow
it. If it were the latter case, then the baby would be only a citizen of the US, not of the other country.

Hugs to your mama friend. Sounds like a tough situation, but it does sound
like an expedited passport (and in some cases, an expedited visa as well) is the way to go.

Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Hi, I gave her the 1-877 number previously posted. I was gone all day, so haven't talked with her, but she called the number and would have to go to NYC. We are about 7 hours from NYC; don't know the dynamics of how she would get there! She also isn't going to Europe; she's going to an Asian country (wanting to be vague here to protect her privacy, also if she ever posted here).

I just want to give her as much support as possible, but still have my family to deal with, children, etc. Thanks to everyone for your responses. I hope this all works out for her. I don't know exactly what is going to work out, but when I originally looked on the passport website, it said expedited took 2 weeks, which was way too long, needing visa as well. So I didn't know there was another option.

Baby was born on U.S. soil; dad is U.S. citizen; mother is (I think) citizen of Asian country. Baby is U.S. citizen. I think she's on green card.
 

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If one of the parents was born in other Country, her baby can have dual citizenship (mine has) and usually the Consulates of other countries issue the birth certificate and the passport in 1 day... I've read that NY is 7 hours away from your area but if she can fix everything in 1 day, could be worth it. Her baby then can travel with the other's country passport with out a problem. I hope that everything goes well for her, I cannot imagine leaving my baby at that age... I cannot imagine leaving her now!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Eggie
If one of the parents was born in other Country, her baby can have dual citizenship (mine has) and usually the Consulates of other countries issue the birth certificate and the passport in 1 day... I've read that NY is 7 hours away from your area but if she can fix everything in 1 day, could be worth it. Her baby then can travel with the other's country passport with out a problem. I hope that everything goes well for her, I cannot imagine leaving my baby at that age... I cannot imagine leaving her now!

some countries do not allow dual citizenship. for example, my country (chile) does not allow it, so my daughter, born in chile, was not an american even though I was, but when we came here we did paperwork, which took like 3 months for her to get her citizenship. my son was born here in the us, and we will have to do the paperwork when we plan on going to chile, and we will have to go the chilean embassy in Washington, DC for that. they don't automatically get it.
 
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