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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My oldest dd is starting to take an interest in friends, but I'm hard-pressed to find any for her. I have one good friend with a 5 year old and the two get along well, but that friend is homeschooling her two oldest kids and taking care of a toddler, and busy a lot of the time. She is going out of country for 10 weeks soon, too. :-( My other friends all have toddlers, or they live too far away to get together regularly.<br><br>
I have just joined a co-op but the activities are more for older kids so we don't do much with that group yet.<br><br>
Do you think at this point that it's okay for dd to just make new friends at the playground when I take her, or does she need more? She is always asking to see a little girl across the street who's older and in school and really not interested in Abi. But Abi just really, really wants to have a friend.<br><br>
I feel bad <i>in this regard only</i> by pulling her out of preschool, because she had some friends there.<br><br>
What should I do? Advice? Thoughts?<br><br>
Darshani
 

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We don't get out too often, but we could meet you for a play date here and there. Katlyn is just a bit older than Abi.
 

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could you try some other kinds of classes -- not preschool? we've done several mommy and me type classes and have made some friends there. my dd1 is not super outgoing around other kids, but we've been able to make some connections with kids and moms through classes. we do an art class on saturday mornings that usually just dd1 and i go to while dh takes care of dd2. maybe something like that on a weekend day might be an option for you if you're worried about juggling two kids? i think playground friends are fine, too, especially if they're from the neighborhood or you can make a connection with a parent to arrange a future playdate.<br><br>
hth
 

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Have you checked to see if there are any playgroups in your area? I'm spoiled where I live, I know, but we have a number of homeschool park days in my area. Also join email lists for your area if you aren't already on any. Post to the list that you are looking for friends for your dd. Or post that you are interested in *starting* a park day if there aren't any already. It doesn't have to be complicated but as easy as "hey, we'll be at this park on this day at this time. Anyone else interested?".
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the ideas! She is enrolled in a parks and rec class almost all the time (the class changes depending on the session). The co-op has a park day but it's always during nap time. I'm going to try to make the next one but it may not be a pretty picture! :LOL Let's see if she'll function. I really need to get her out more and start making friends with this new co-op.<br><br>
Michelle, that is so sweet of you to offer. LMK your schedule and I can work around it. I know how busy you are!<br><br>
Darshani
 

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My DD is the same age and it has actually been a little easier this time around since she plays with the little siblings of her older brother's friends! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Are there any scouting groups in your area? I've had luck finding like-minded families through scouts, and I believe some programs start at 5 or 6.<br><br>
We try to get to park day also, but I started caring for a 3yo at the end of the summer so we also have to work around naptimes. Perhaps you can offer to host a preschool/kindergarten playgroup through the coop in the mornings, and there might be other families who have the same problem getting to park day.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Fridays are usually pretty clear for us. Just send me a PM or email and let me know. We'll be out of town from 12/18-1/1, but I'm almost done w/school.
 

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Hi Darshani,<br><br>
A few thoughts in addition to the very good replies above:<br><br>
Check out your local library's story hour. Usually, the same families<br>
attend week-to-week and are selecting books in the stacks after<br>
the story time. This can be a safe, regular way to make contact<br>
with age-mates. You may even meet some homeschoolers there.<br><br>
Put a note in your local homeschool support group's newsletter --<br>
e.g. "Five year old girl and her mom looking for weekly playdates" --<br>
or start a playgroup. Another idea: start a monthly art co-op for<br>
homeschoolers grades K-2, just for example. The library will have<br>
lots of information about projects; and moms can (and should <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">)<br>
take turns leading and bringing supplies. Simple projects can be<br>
big fun with friends around. You might also consider starting a<br>
book club for your daughter. Put fliers up in the library, health<br>
food stores, and your local homeschooling groups. I'd recommend<br>
"Better than Book Reports" as a nice, nonthreatening way to get<br>
kids involved.<br><br>
By the way, I think playing with other kiddos in the park is great<br>
socialization. I don't think kids *need* lots of friends. For my<br>
own children (ages 7 and 4), I see that they might enjoy one<br>
special friend that they make out of 15 or so children I've set up<br>
playdates with. Gee, it seems kind of like dating. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> For both of<br>
my children, their favorite social interation is when a big friend (adult)<br>
comes over to visit our whole family and gives them lots of attention<br>
and plays with them. They also really like it when their babysitter --<br>
a college-aged girl -- comes over a few times a month while my husband<br>
and I go out to eat together. They consider her a buddy.<br><br>
I'd follow your daughter's lead, trust your own judgement, and also<br>
begin my assuming her needs are simple. Personally, I get wigged out<br>
every few months that my children should have a bigger circle of<br>
friends. The truth is that I've limited their circle when we've played<br>
with kids who are encouraged to be violent or kids who just don't mesh<br>
well. I told my oldest (homeschooling grade 2 this year) that I think<br>
about sending him to the 5 hour per week enrichment program at a local<br>
public school so that he can make more friends. He said, "But I want to<br>
be with my family. I'm happy. I have plenty of friends." I think it's<br>
easy to worry about my children missing out on this aspect of<br>
institutional school. But, they're really not. They'd be missing out on<br>
so much more if they didn't homeschool.<br><br>
peace,<br>
teastaigh
 
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