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Your friend needs to set up some consultations with attorneys asap. Most likely, DH has already done so and may even have divorce papers being filed. She also needs to document everything -- all accounts, assets of any kind with details like account #s and amounts.
Each state is different, so an attorney would best know for her state. Also, local libraries and the internet are great resources.
As far as protecting the kids, that's difficult -- they're seeing and living it all. She might want to look at the Sandcastles book for some assistance. And if the kids are asking questions, she should answer them without involving them in their dispute. If they plan to co-parent in the future, she should make the best of the holidays and try to be as peaceful as possible in front of DC. If DH does not wish to participate, have an awesome time without him!
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