[alyssatuininga]

OK so my wonderful dh and I are trying to figure out what the heck to do about birth control and I am at a COMPLETE loss. We have a 5 week old and I am exclusively nursing so I know we have a few months. He is positive he doesn't want to have any more. I am still feeling like I want to have one more so feeling like I am NOT ready for anything permanent. Here are our issues...<br><br>
1. I have PCOS and a VERY irregular cycle so although we have used NFP for conceiving I am concerned about using it as our only form of birth control.<br><br>
2. He has allergy issues (with spermicide) so that leaves most barrier methods out.<br><br>
3. I am nursing 2 boys and uncomfortable with hormonal methods during this time.<br><br>
Any suggestions? We have been around it so much and I feel like there is nothing safe. I would hate to get pregnant with him so against the idea of another but I feel like we have NO options. Any ideas????

 

[readytobedone]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alyssatuininga</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12489477"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">OK so my wonderful dh and I are trying to figure out what the heck to do about birth control and I am at a COMPLETE loss. We have a 5 week old and I am exclusively nursing so I know we have a few months. He is positive he doesn't want to have any more. I am still feeling like I want to have one more so feeling like I am NOT ready for anything permanent. Here are our issues...<br><br>
1. I have PCOS and a VERY irregular cycle so although we have used NFP for conceiving I am concerned about using it as our only form of birth control.<br><br>
2. He has allergy issues (with spermicide) so that leaves most barrier methods out.<br><br>
3. I am nursing 2 boys and uncomfortable with hormonal methods during this time.<br><br>
Any suggestions? We have been around it so much and I feel like there is nothing safe. I would hate to get pregnant with him so against the idea of another but I feel like we have NO options. Any ideas????</div>
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non-hormonal IUD?

 

[alyssatuininga]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>readytobedone</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12489574"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">non-hormonal IUD?</div>
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I just have this fear of them. Maybe I am being paranoid?

 

[smeisnotapirate]

I like the copper IUD I just had put in. Don't be paranoid. Aside from cramping and your first period being crazy heavy, it's been fantastic.

 

[104356]

what about FAM and non-spermicidally lubricated or just non-lubricated condoms during fertile phase with the lubricant of your choice?

 

[JMJ]

Statistically, there is absolutely nothing you can do to guarantee never getting pregnant unless you are abstinent for the rest of your life. I do not recommend this option because it isn't good for your marriage. I do think that it is important to understand, though, that if you do have sex, you could get pregnant. If I had a husband who did not understand that, it would really hurt our sex life. I would feel like he would be angry with me if I got pregnant or worse, that he wouldn't really love our child.<br><br>
If you have used NFP to conceive, you can use it to postpone. If you don't feel comfortable with it, you can see if there is a postpartum class being offered near you, or you can see if you can meet privately with an instructor (still cheaper than the pill). It's not 100% effective, but if you know what you're doing, it can be as effective as the pill.<br><br>
The openness to life thing is something that you and your husband are going to have to work out. Just leaving it as is could be really damaging to your relationship. Tell him how you feel and see if you can work it out.

 

[MarineWife]

I have PCOS and very irregular cycles, too. Check my chart links in my sig. I'm also nursing my 16 month old. I'm still not ovulating every cycle yet. I charted to conceive and am now charting to avoid. We use withdrawal during my fertile time (if we're lucky enough to have the time and energy for sex <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">). I'm only on my 4th cycle since doing this and I've only ovulated once, maybe, so I can't attest to whether or not it works in the long run. I'm fully comfortable with it, though. It works for me. I am not completely opposed to another pregnancy although my dh is.

 

[Mommyintraining2]

The book Honoring Our Cycles by Katie Singer is helping me to build confidence again after "mis-practicing" FAM to avoid and then getting pregnant again four months after the birth of DD (and yes I was exclusively breastfeeding). Here is a link to her site:<br><br><a href="http://www.gardenoffertility.com/honoringourcycles.shtml" target="_blank">http://www.gardenoffertility.com/hon...urcycles.shtml</a>

 

[mamafirst]

well when i was six weeks past baby birth my ob put me on hormonal pills...almost completely dried me up! i went off and we just didnt when i was ovulating or used condoms...lambskin bc i m allergic to latex... and most all the other times he didnt.. you know in me HA! tmi!!! but it worked! i got preg so easily with ds and i ve not been for two years! so...good luck

 

[javilu]

I used condoms for years and never got pregnant. I like the polyurethane ones, as far as sensation goes. I have also read that the Lea's Shield is quite effective, even without spermicide, but you might want to look it up, as it's been a while since I read about it.

 

[AnewMommy]

I'm right there with you - for different reasons, but I don't want to use hormonal BC, NFP (though being used to avoid pregnancy) is the "reason" behind both of my children existing LOL <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> and I find the diaphragm and condoms annoying.<br><br>
I think that just makes me hard to please LOL! What is the Lea's Shield? I'm off to google.

 

[lyterae]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AnewMommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12554140"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm right there with you - for different reasons, but I don't want to use hormonal BC, NFP (though being used to avoid pregnancy) is the "reason" behind both of my children existing LOL <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> and I find the diaphragm and condoms annoying.<br><br>
I think that just makes me hard to please LOL! What is the Lea's Shield? I'm off to google.</div>
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Oh my goodness, I could have written this! NFP (used to avoid) resulted in my daughter (user error...), hormonal birth control makes me loopy, and hubby and I both hate the diaphragm and condoms... I'm also not willing to use an IUD.. I'm apparently to picky to as well.

 

[NizhoniTwice]

vasectomies are reversible. That's what hubby's doing because we aren't sure we want another pregnancy. We want more children but are leaning more towards adopting. I was following my cycles, ovulation, tracking discharge, etc....before I got pregnant, and that one little swimmer still made it to my egg! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">

 

[MarineWife]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LorenaAZ</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12560087"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">vasectomies are reversible.</div>
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But the man's fertility doesn't always return. It's not that simple.

 

[texaspeach]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LorenaAZ</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12560087"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">vasectomies are reversible. That's what hubby's doing because we aren't sure we want another pregnancy. We want more children but are leaning more towards adopting. I was following my cycles, ovulation, tracking discharge, etc....before I got pregnant, and that one little swimmer still made it to my egg! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"></div>
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they are sometimes reversible. they must be thought of as permanent though. If you go into it thinking "oh if we decide to have more, you can just have it reversed" you're fooling yourself. There's a reason it is listed under permanent birth control.<br><br>
Plus there's the issue of cost, I don't know that many insurance companies will pay for the reversal of a sterilization procedure, I'm sure they're out there some where, but it isn't as easy as calling up your insurance co and saying hey I want this done and paying a nominal fee.<br><br>
If both of you aren't absolutely ready to be done, I wouldn't agree to a vas

 

[pumpkin]

I'm allergic to latex and spermicide. Hormones give me migraines. No way in *(#( I would consider an IUD given my particular history.<br><br>
So we use non-latex condoms. The lambskin are the best but they are the most expensive. There is also polyurethane. Both of these can be found without spermicide, though you may have to order online.<br><br>
There is also a Polyisoprene condom that we haven't tried yet.

 

[blueRhino]

I would say you look like a good candidate for condoms! I've used then my whole life except my brief stint with the pill (made me crazy) and the 16 months it took me to conceive. I think they are a good choice.

 

[NizhoniTwice]

You are correct about insurance and reversal issues. Most insurances cover vasectomies, but not the reversal.<br><br>
MarineWife, would you mind sharing some sources that talk about the man's fertility not returning please? I had never come across this.

 

[MarineWife]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LorenaAZ</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12560244"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">MarineWife, would you mind sharing some sources that talk about the man's fertility not returning please? I had never come across this.</div>
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I'll have to search a little. I haven't kept that info on hand because it isn't a particular issue for me. What I have read and been told is that after a vas the man's body can start making antibodies against his own sperm. After a reversal the antibodies attack and kill the sperm as if they were a foreign invader. I've know several people who's dhes had vas reversals and discovered they didn't have optimal fertility return, if at all. Many couples have fertility problems after a vas reversal. I have one friend who's dh had to take clomid. It's just not as easy and simple as the docs make it sound.<br><br>
I wouldn't do anything permanent unless everyone is absolutely sure they never want more children no matter. Even if you decide as a couple that you don't want any or more children, you don't know what may happen in the future to change that. With the couples I've known who had vas reversals, it was the man's 2nd marriage. He and his 1st wife agreed no children and decided on a vas. Then they either got divorced or the wife died and the man remarried and wanted children with his new wife. Because of the vas, though, they had to face the possibility that they may never be able to have children together. It's a very sad situation since it could've been easily avoidable.

 

[texaspeach]

that happened to my uncle. he remarried and wanted to have children with his new wife, so he had a vas reversal.. no luck. she conceived with donor sperm.