[captain optimism]

If AP is about meeting your child's needs, then GD is about anticipating them. If you want to get your child's best behavior, you think ahead to what it will be like for them in a particular situation. Are they going to be tired, hungry, overstimulated? Will they need attention in some other way? How does this individual child react to new stimuli?

It seems like parents can guide their children to learn from situations and not have to be punitive about things when they create positive conditions most of the time. Then when negative conditions arise, you have a base of positive behavior from which to work and a child who is confident that he or she has handled stuff well in the past.

Or do you have a different analysis?

 

[SagMom]

Good discussion topic!

I think that anticipating their needs, and knowing your child is extremely helpful, of course. If I know we'll be out near a time when ds2 is typically hungry, then packing a snack for him makes sense, both from a point of kindness as well as because a hungry child is likely to be crabby.

But I'm not always able to anticipate their needs, especially as they get older. So to me, it's more about respecting them as people. Acknowledging that their needs/desires/opinions are just as valid as any person's and not less so because they're children. It's about helping them learn to make decisions, solve problems and deal with the results of those decisions.

 

[babybugmama]

Springboarding from Joan... I think anticipating is the first level. When that fails the harder part of GD comes into play. Respecting them, holding our own emotions in check, guiding them through the conflict as best we can without being punitive, domineering, or controlling - letting them make the choices and viewing the possible consequences of their choices (good and bad).

 

[katallen]

AP books talk about anticipating your child's needs and looking for the root of the problem when one comes up and doing things to prevent the problem by knowing your child and knowing what causes them to have meltdowns and not putting them in situations where they will melt down. The big differences I have noticed between AP (which I read about in Sears books) and GD is that AP is okay with yelling and punishment and GD is more about working through a problem without making it a power game, which punishment and yelling does, and about respecting children's feelings and encouraging free choice and learning.