[OGirlieMama]

I'm hearing a lot about this in the mainstream parenting forums and from a few friends. http://www.elfontheshelf.com/#/about-us Basically, you have a little elf in the house, and he's watching and reporting to Santa, so you're supposed to remind the kid that the elf is watching all the time, etc.

I wouldn't say so to any of my friends who have it, but it feels...weird to me. Manipulative. Creepy. But maybe part of that is having been raised in a Jewish home (my husband is a Christian-raised athiest - both of us identify with the cultural traditions, but not the religion). And I think part of it is that it's a recent invention (as far as I know) with the trappings of an old tradition, which feels kind of crass and commercial to me. Or maybe I've read too much Alfie Kohn to get down with this. I'm just wondering how others feel about it and whether I should just lighten up.

 

[LynnS6]

It would creep ME out. I think it would probably send our kids off the deep end!

We do Santa. But we've managed to do Santa without actually doing the 'you'd better watch out' bit. Santa's unconditional in our house! Santa isn't a huge focus of our Christmas, but I kind of like the tradition.

BUT the elf on the shelf seems to make the magical tradition too literal. At a certain age, kids begin to rightly ask "how does Santa know?" And these questions lead to the realization (eventually) that Santa is 'magic' created by people who love you. The elf on the shelf takes that important developmental step away, I think.

 

[ChristyMarie]

Holy creepy Batman!

And so then they can misbehave when the elf isn't watching? What if they blindfold the elf?

This is the most bizarre thing I've read in some time. But of course I think the good=presents thing is just wrong. Around here we give presents to make people happy.

 

[angela&avery]

i hate that. I think parents need to be a little more accountable.. ok a lot more accountable than that. The whole "santa's watching" thing just creeps me out and feels wrong.

I have a friend that does it constantly with her ds..... OH< i hear bells?? OH santa sees you being bad... every time you are bad you get one less gift from santa, that is how he does it...., etc, etc

It KILLS me......... she is also of the brand.. just wait until I tell Daddy.... Im going to tell Daddy.... when Daddy gets home... etc ......

 

[stellimamo]

Very creepy and manipulative. We do Santa but he's not a huge part of our holiday. In our house Santa has no stipulations like "being good" and such. He just comes and brings gifts because he is a generous man who loves to bring joy to children.
Making your kids paranoid of a elf that's watching their every move is not cool. It really takes away from the magic that is Santa if you ask me.

 

[snoopy5386]

we are doing the elf at our house, but NOT in the good/bad way. I told DD the elf (ours is named Krumpet) is here to teach her about christmas. Every night Krumpet goes back in his stocking and goes to visit Santa at the North Pole and tell him what she learned about christmas that day or what she did, etc. Then in the morning he is hiding, doing something silly, or has a small gift for her (stuff I would buy anyways). So far he has been here for 5 days. The 1st day he was waiting in her stocking with a letter from Santa, the 2nd day he was reading a christmas book (that we already owned, I pulled them all of the shelf about a month ago) to her stuffed animals, the 3rd day he had made a mess in the kitchen "making cookies" (and then we made cookies later), the 4th day he had set up a little christmas tree for DD's room, and this morning he was found wearing some of DD's dressup clothes. What can I say, I am a christmas nut. DD is still to young to get the humor of the elf doing silly things but she still likes to look for him every morning and see what he did. From what I have read on other message boards, kids really seem to get a kick out of the elves when they are a bit older. I think it will be great fun and so we are doing it.

 

[mamazee]

I wouldn't do that. We "do" Santa, but I told my daughter that Santa gives toys to every child - that there is no "naughty list" and no one gets coal.

 

[GuildJenn]

In our house Santa represents unconditional love, so no elves watching.

We do have fairies in our house, but they are SERIOUSLY unconcerned with enforcing rules.

 

[Lit Chick]

Snoopy, your elf sounds like a lot of fun! I might have to do something like that when DS is older. Silly and adorable! And IMHO, similar to having dolly tea parties or whatnot - at a certain point it will clearly be make-believe but still fun.

The elf as described in the OP though - freaky!!!!! I have a terror of "alive" dolls. Eeep, Xmas Chucky!
And besides that, I have a HUGE problem with the style of parenting that basically is "be good only when you benefit". The elf is watching, so you can't get away with anything... that does not teach kids to "be good for goodness sake". Only to be good when they are being monitored and can get gifts.

 

[OGirlieMama]

Snoopy, your elf sounds like fun! I totally think that's the right way to do this - it just adds to the fun of Christmas and isn't some behavior modification technique.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who takes issue with the whole idea as I described it in the OP. I've seen a lot of people say they are doing this, and it seems to be a growing trend, and I was starting to think maybe I was some kind of GD nutball for hating it. I may still be a nutball, but at least I have good company!

 

[One_Girl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuildJenn In our house Santa represents unconditional love, so no elves watching. We do have fairies in our house, but they are SERIOUSLY unconcerned with enforcing rules.

This is how we are too. I don't think the elf thing is creepy, it is a plastic toy not a little man sitting on the shelf spying on them in the shower. But I do think it is manipulative and wrong.

 

[OGirlieMama]

Am I total hypocrite? I was at my friend's house last night for a jewelry party and she started talking about the elf and telling us how every night they move the elf (he goes back to santa at night to give his "report" and comes back to a different spot in the house) and the kids wake up and look for him. I liked that part of things and had a lot of fun putting himside a chafing dish with his feet sticking out.

 

[quietserena]

I don't understand how repeatedly pointing out to kids about how Santa knows when they're 'bad' wouldn't make the kids hate Santa. And in this context, the elf too.

 

[Calidris]

I thought Santa "sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake, He knows if you've been good or bad"

So who needs an elf? Seems like yet another marketing trick to me. The all knowing all seeing Santa is way more sinister and more effective if you are into that sort of thing.

(I don't use it, but DD (4.75) heard the song this year, and has been warning her little baby cousin, and the dog against misbehaviour

)

 

[anywaybecause]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stellimamo Very creepy and manipulative. We do Santa but he's not a huge part of our holiday. In our house Santa has no stipulations like "being good" and such. He just comes and brings gifts because he is a generous man who loves to bring joy to children. Making your kids paranoid of a elf that's watching their every move is not cool. It really takes away from the magic that is Santa if you ask me.

I think the spying elf thing is creepy, too. And it really bugs me when people tell kids (any kid, but especially my kids) that if they're not good, they won't get any gifts from Santa. We tell the kids that Santa "knows what's in their hearts" -- the idea being that even if they make a big mistake, Santa knows that they are sorry and didn't mean to hurt someone; he knows that most people try to be nice and kind, but that sometimes they make mistakes.

 

[mrspineau]

I think that an elf is cute, but I think the good and bad and "hes watching you" thing is kind of stupid. I may get one and have it in different spots of the house "doing" different things on the days leading up to christmas, and every day look for him. I think that would be a cute idea..

 

[NiteNicole]

My mom got my daughter an elf called Christopher who comes every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas and brings a little treat. He doesn't watch and when someone tells her to stop being bad (100% of the time this has happened in a checkout line when she was not being bad at all, just tired) or Santa won't bring any toys, I laugh at the "hilarious joke" and say we're pretty sure Santa has already done his shopping or something similar.

It took her a few days to catch on to the elf, but she's into it now. My mom got him kind of last minute so I didn't have much time to prepare or brainstorm fun things for him to do/bring. It's mostly a piece of candy or small toy (mostly things I had gotten for her stockng).

The Elf on the Shelf creeps me right the heck out. My grandmother had an identical elf on her tree every year and we (all the grandkids) always found him creepy and weird. He just has a kind of evil look about him.

 

[KBecks]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnS6 We do Santa. But we've managed to do Santa without actually doing the 'you'd better watch out' bit. Santa's unconditional in our house! Santa isn't a huge focus of our Christmas, but I kind of like the tradition.

I think it is bribing kids. I saw a mom this weekend telling her son Santa may not come and the kid was very distressed, I think it's cruel to tease like that. I didn't want to do Santa but our oldest knows and is talking about Santa. I try to minimize, but he can believe and have fun if he wants. I'm just not going to get him all worked up over it.

 

[AlmostAPpropriate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calidris I thought Santa "sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake, He knows if you've been good or bad"

Ugh, I hate that song! I always amazes me how many of my conservative Christian friends have no problem teaching their children that someone other than God is omniscient - which is blasphemy - and laugh it off saying "oh, its just fun." [end rant]

The Elf sounds fun, in terms of a way to build anticipation before the actual day. I dont really see it losing any of its fun by the child knowing that I move it around and make it do silly things. In fact, Im sure he'd love having a turn at hiding it himself.

 

[AlmostAPpropriate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KBecks I think it is bribing kids. I saw a mom this weekend telling her son Santa may not come and the kid was very distressed, I think it's cruel to tease like that. I didn't want to do Santa but our oldest knows and is talking about Santa. I try to minimize, but he can believe and have fun if he wants. I'm just not going to get him all worked up over it.

We do exactly that. If he wants to pretend we all get into it. If he starts to worry about it I remind him that playing Santa is an awesome pretend game.