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So my son just turned 7 months and is always on the move. He's crawling, standing, going up stairs. He has no teeth, so he's not biting or hitting or anything like that, but he's 7 months old, ya know? He's into everything.<br>
How do you go about GD with a baby?<br>
Also, I read some really great articles on praise. I've never used or liked the "Good boy" "big Boy" "Yaaaay!" thing and I like the idea of letting children do for their enjoyment, but when DC or DBaby does something you're really happy and excited about, what do you say? How do you express that?<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Well, our baby is only just under 5 months so we don't really do any GD yet, just very simple things like if she grabs my face too hard or something, I will say "that hurts mommy" (gently) then redirect her hand to stroke my face gently and say "gentle"...stuff like that.<br><br>
As for the praise thing, we don't praise her as in "goooood giirrrrrrrllllllll"... and things like that. I usually just notice what she is doing and comment on that.<br><br>
"Look at that red block! You are holding the red block!"<br><br>
"Look how colorful those rings are! Bailey is holding the blue ring!" You are holding TWO rings!"<br><br>
"Who is that baby in the mirror? You are holding yourself up!"<br><br>
Stuff like that. I feel like it is the best of both worlds, as I am sure she can detect the *pride* in my voice when I say things in an excited or impressed way, but I am not like "wow, you are the smartest baby in the world for grabbing that block! GOOD GIRL!!"... know what I mean?
 

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My ds is 5.5 mos old, and I'm remembering how easy it is to "discipline" babies! I know some people might disagree, but for us, it's all about distraction. Except, like the pp said, I will sometimes say, "It hurts when you pull hair." or "We musn't pull hair." when he grabs my dd's hair, which he is fascinated with (it's a curly blond halo), but this is more for her benefit than his.<br><br>
I think the pp's examples of praise were great, too, because they used descriptive language to help your child learn to talk.
 

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Distraction and picking them up and bringing them to another room when they are persistent combined with as much baby proofing as possible and keeping realistic expectations have helped me a lot. I do use praise when I mean it, I know that this is controversial but I think that you can overdo the no praise thing too and that to much is better than to little.
 

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i don't really think there's much discipline to be done with a 7 month old. if they are getting into something dangerous i would just distract them with something more fun/interesting/safe. now is the time to put up stuff you don't want broken or messed with. pretty soon he will be pulling up and there is a whole new world of stuff for him to get into then! lol<br><br>
as far as praise...if my kids do something i am really proud of, i am going to show it. i also show them they can be proud of themselves and show pride in thing i do.
 

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My mother had a phrase that she used to praise us, "I like the way you..." For example when my son says thank you, I say "I like the way you used nice words!" I started when he was really young, about 6 months or so.<br><br>
As for behavioral issues, contol your environment (babyproofing), and distraction and redirection are your best friends.
 

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I dont think there can be much to a theory which tells us to withhold our expressions of joy in our children and their accomplishments.<br>
If my kids do something great I tell them I think so.<br><br>
As for discipline. childproofing and distraction are all you need at this age.<br>
joline
 

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I first read about not using any rewards or punishments by reading Alfie Kohn's well documented and extensively researched book "Punished By Rewards". Our son was about one year old, at the time. Here is a link to one of Alfie Kohn's articles: Five Reasons To Stop Saying "good job!" <a href="http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm" target="_blank">http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm</a><br><br>
It took me months to unlearn this habit and relearn other methods of celebrating *with* our son instead of inadvertantly directing him to observe and be attuned to *my* reactions about his accomoplishments. The goal being not to create or nurture extrinsic motivations at the expense of suppressing intrinsic motivations. I shared the article with all family members who would be providing regular or extended care.<br><br>
I also highly recommend Alfie Kohn's recent book "Unconditional Parenting". I found it unsettling how pervasively a child could perceive love as conditional due to our cultural norms.<br><br>
Read up now, because it gets much harder to sit down to read anything for about the next two years, (as soon as they are toddling around). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
HTH, Pat
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">...when DC or DBaby does something you're really happy and excited about, what do you say? How do you express that?<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"></div>
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When ds did something that was new, I'd say "wow! you got up on the couch all by yourself! check you out!" Yeah, I was genuinely surprised by that one!<br>
and if he does something sweet or helpful, I say "thank you" or something like that. Or if he's petting the dogs nicely, for example, I'll say "she likes it when you pet gently. That makes her happy" or something.<br>
Basically, I don't get into "good boy" or anything, but I like to let him know how his actions affect others. and, in the case of accomplishing something, I think it's good to let them know you see what they've done. kwim?<br>
OTOH, if he does something that I don't want him to do (assuming it's not dangerous or hurting anyone) I generally just tell him that I'd rather he not do it. Then if he keeps doing it, I either decide to let him keep doing it, or if I really don't want him to do it, I redirect him. "Yeah, that looks fun, but it's not really for you to play with. How about playing with x instead?"<br>
If it's something I can't let him continue doing, like if he's hitting the dogs (doesn't happen often) I'll tell him that we don't hit the dogs, and I'll point out a few things that he CAN hit- usually the couch, or the floor. He almost always is quite happy to hit the couch and not the dog.<br><br>
I think the most important thing that I tried to remember when ds was smaller (it's basically second nature now) was to just assume that everything he does, is the best that he CAN do at that moment. He WANTS to do the right (acceptable) thing- if he's not doing the right thing, there's a reason- he doesn't know what the right thing is, he can't control his impulses, he forgot what to do, etc. ykwim.
 

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When my 6-month-old does impressive things, I tend to say things like, "Wow, look at you!" Or "Oh my goodness, what are you doing? Are you _____?" Or I'll describe what she's doing in an excited voice: "You're climbing Mommy! You're a climber!" I try to match her mood, so when she's grinning and and active I pitch my voice to be excited and dynamic. If she's being more meditative (usually with small motor stuff), I'll comment more matter-of-factly: "Can you get it? Alex is reaching... there it is, mmm, tasty rattle."<br><br>
I've also been known to make up little songs about the things she especially enjoys. She loves to stand holding on to my fingers, so we have a standing-up song. (Okay, I'm silly. She's got a horizontally-striped outfit that looks like an old-fashioned prison uniform, but in pink, and so yesterday I made up a song called "Little Pink Jailbird." She loved it.)<br><br><br>
I have no problems with expressing my delight in my baby. I tell her she's amazing, she's beautiful, she's perfect, she's the sweetest girl ever, she's such a good baby. I'm not doing it to try to "manipulate" her, I'm doing it because it's an expression of the love that I feel. It's not in response to her behavior - what can a six-month-old do that's "good" or "bad," anyway? It's in response to my recognition of her intrinsic, essential goodness - the goodness that my religion tells me is at the core of every living thing.<br><br>
In fact, "good baby" is a phrase that my husband and I use most often when Alex is being challenging to take care of. It reminds us that her goodness as a human being has nothing to do with her behavior. "She's a good baby," one of us will remind the other. "She is," the other one will agree, "she's very good." And we'll stroke her hair and be reminded of how lucky we are, even if she was up fourteen times the previous night.<br><br><br>
As far as "discipline" is concerned, she's way too young to expect her to remember anything about what is and isn't allowed. When she pulls my hair hard enough to hurt, I pry her fingers loose and tell her, "No, that hurts Mama," but it's with about the same mindset that I tell her, "We can't leave the store until we pay for our groceries." It's informing her about the world, not giving her responsibility for controlling anything. Similarly, I will inform her: "Babies don't read The New Yorker. It isn't tasty," or, "No, *Mama* decides when your diaper comes off," but it's my responsibility to keep the magazine away from her and cover up the velcro tabs so she can't pull on them.
 
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