General vent...sad,angry

Ugh, I'm sorry. The loneliness sucks. As far as friends, X really didn't socialize, so I didn't have the couple friend issue, but I became very withdrawn and isolated during our unhappy marriage.

I've reconnected with my old friends, and make major efforts to see them regularly - my pre-X friends. Yes, they are pretty much all married, but we manage to do things with or without kids, and with or without their husbands.

I too did not care for the general crowd at the larger dating sites. I've poked around, and I like what I see more at some smaller sites - one that is religiously oriented, for instance. Also, at plenty of fish, you can search by education level, I believe. Have you said in your profile the type of man you're interested in meeting? Oh, on POF you can also limit who can contact you with certain exclusions. For instance, no one who is looking for "intimate encounters" or who smokes can contact me. I learned that after a married man sent me a message looking "for a good time." I should be clear that I've not actually dated yet, just been looking, and have very generic, photo-less profiles up. I've also thought of joining the local meetup.com single parents group, or parents without partners. I have NO idea what kind of crowd there is, but it might be worth a whirl.

Sorry on the loneliness.

As for meeting someone...if you can afford it and it's in your area, you might want to check out It's Just Lunch. A friend of mine did it and after a few duds, they kept refining their suggestions and they got it right! It does cost a fair amount (I think $1200 for the year), but it's a whole different ball-game than meeting people online or in the bars. And you can tell them what you're looking for honestly and they're pretty good at the match-ups. Plus if you like someone and decide to date exclusively for a while, you can suspend your membership for up to a year or something like that.

I've often said that if I was ever serious about wanting to date again, I'd do it. But I'm really not inclined to go down that road again any time soon!

My friend did it after breaking up with her fiance that she'd been with for years. She'd gone so far as deciding to have a kid on her own with him as the donor, but that fell through right as she started dating again through this service. It's geared towards professionals and covers anything from "just want to casually date" to "want to get married" and everything in between.

Mmmm. Sorry. Hugs!

I don't know where the thoughtlessness comes from. People seem to be so busy ... they think ... oh, maybe we should ask [name] next time and then ... time goes by ... they decide to go out, but think ... oh, [name] couldn't get a sitter at the last minutes ...

I dunno, but maybe it is something like that.

I just keep reaching out.

As for guys ... not gonna try that. GL to you.

M