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General vent...sad,angry

638 Views 5 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  mommy68
Just a few things.....

1) I am angry with my coupled friends who have forgotten about me. I am also pretty pissed at the friends I have-or had-with ex dh....especially when said friends go out with ex dh and know full well that I am always home with the kids and rarely get to go out at night.

2) I am sick of attracting losers. I live in area that consists primarily of I decided to try Match. In fact, I tried twice. Both time all the guys that emailed me were absolute losers...fat,uneducated,poor,ugly...I know I sound like a b*tch but women like me normally do not attract that

I am sad, lonely and frustrated, and it is coming across..not with or toward my kids, mind you, but in my attitude toward other adults..what do I do?
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Ugh, I'm sorry. The loneliness sucks. As far as friends, X really didn't socialize, so I didn't have the couple friend issue, but I became very withdrawn and isolated during our unhappy marriage.

I've reconnected with my old friends, and make major efforts to see them regularly - my pre-X friends. Yes, they are pretty much all married, but we manage to do things with or without kids, and with or without their husbands.

I too did not care for the general crowd at the larger dating sites. I've poked around, and I like what I see more at some smaller sites - one that is religiously oriented, for instance. Also, at plenty of fish, you can search by education level, I believe. Have you said in your profile the type of man you're interested in meeting? Oh, on POF you can also limit who can contact you with certain exclusions. For instance, no one who is looking for "intimate encounters" or who smokes can contact me. I learned that after a married man sent me a message looking "for a good time." I should be clear that I've not actually dated yet, just been looking, and have very generic, photo-less profiles up. I've also thought of joining the local single parents group, or parents without partners. I have NO idea what kind of crowd there is, but it might be worth a whirl.
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Sorry on the loneliness.

As for meeting someone...if you can afford it and it's in your area, you might want to check out It's Just Lunch. A friend of mine did it and after a few duds, they kept refining their suggestions and they got it right! It does cost a fair amount (I think $1200 for the year), but it's a whole different ball-game than meeting people online or in the bars. And you can tell them what you're looking for honestly and they're pretty good at the match-ups. Plus if you like someone and decide to date exclusively for a while, you can suspend your membership for up to a year or something like that.

I've often said that if I was ever serious about wanting to date again, I'd do it. But I'm really not inclined to go down that road again any time soon!

My friend did it after breaking up with her fiance that she'd been with for years. She'd gone so far as deciding to have a kid on her own with him as the donor, but that fell through right as she started dating again through this service. It's geared towards professionals and covers anything from "just want to casually date" to "want to get married" and everything in between.
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Mmmm. Sorry. Hugs!

I don't know where the thoughtlessness comes from. People seem to be so busy ... they think ... oh, maybe we should ask [name] next time and then ... time goes by ... they decide to go out, but think ... oh, [name] couldn't get a sitter at the last minutes ...

I dunno, but maybe it is something like that.

I just keep reaching out.

As for guys ... not gonna try that. GL to you.

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It sucks so much when our friends choose him over me (I am sorry, after the way he betrayed me there is no way I am going to go out to dinner with people who are still close to him. Its no fun, i feel like I have to be constanty gaurded.) and it sucks being forgotten.
s I am so sorry.

as for men....I am attracting men 10-15 years younger than me. i don't know which is with issues at that. how do you have so many issues when you are freaking 22 and childless? whatever their issues it seems to make them gravitate toward middle aged single mothers ....weird.
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Are you a church person? You could start going to a church that offers a singles group and find people to mingle with there. I'd stay away from the singles online clubs. I've heard they are no good, but then again I've been married for 15 years so what would I know personally.
Is there a Parents Without Partners group near you? My parents divorced when I was young and I remember my mom going to meetings there. I think you just need to find different ways to meet people, not just men but people in general, and make new friends.
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