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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am so, so ready to have this baby, but just the thought of labor again is kind of freaking me out! I LOVE labor and delivery, but it's so intense and fast, I can barely wrap my mind around it. The high afterwards is beyond belief, but I'm definitely starting to have flashbacks of how painful it is, lol.
 

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Last night I was up for hours with strong contractions about 6 - 8 apart and instead of being like "oooh is this it?!" I was like "oh man I so do not feel like starting this marathon tonight." I finally settled for a few hours and they stopped being strong or regular.
 

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Im torn somewhere between not wanting to be pregnant and uncomfortable for one more second and the anxiety of 3 kids under 3 (and a teenager). But if I'm being totally honest I'm not super excited about the pain and all the weird little things that go along with birth again. I'm sure that will all go out the window when I'm holding my new babe but until then ...

There is the possibility now that I will be induced because of blood pressure issues. Ugh ... It's slightly appealing knowing that I'll be able to plan for the birth but also disheartening because I had hoped to avoid it this time. I have a history of high BP in pregnancy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm mostly scared of the pain, lol. My labors are so crazy I almost hyperventilate thinking about it. Amazing memories to look back on, but scary to anticipate. Ugh, and what to do with the other kids. I guess I need to get a plan ready for that. I think it just kind of hit me this week... there's no way out now. Lol
 

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I'm mostly scared of the pain, lol. My labors are so crazy I almost hyperventilate thinking about it. Amazing memories to look back on, but scary to anticipate. Ugh, and what to do with the other kids. I guess I need to get a plan ready for that. I think it just kind of hit me this week... there's no way out now. Lol
I started crying a few weeks ago watching one of the birth videos someone posted. Not because it was so sweet, but because I thought, "Noooo, I can't do it again!" The woman labored very similarly to the way I do, so I totally felt her pain!!!

A few of my BH contractions have felt crampy in my back and I really, really did not want to have back labor again, so that makes me nervous too.

But, I'm fairly certain it won't take more than 4 hours from start to finish and I know I can handle it. I just don't wanna...

I also thought, well it's too late now!
 

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I'm mostly scared of the pain, lol. My labors are so crazy I almost hyperventilate thinking about it. Amazing memories to look back on, but scary to anticipate. Ugh, and what to do with the other kids. I guess I need to get a plan ready for that. I think it just kind of hit me this week... there's no way out now. Lol
My labor with my son was like this. Then everyone told me how lucky I was to have such a fast delivery.
 

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My labor with my son was like this. Then everyone told me how lucky I was to have such a fast delivery.
When I say I want a fast labor, like 1 hour or something, the people in the know tell me I probably don't. But, I still think I do. Especially since this is my last baby. Bring it on! And get it over with!
 

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When I say I want a fast labor, like 1 hour or something, the people in the know tell me I probably don't. But, I still think I do. Especially since this is my last baby. Bring it on! And get it over with!
I definitely think I'd prefer it to what some mamas deal with over days, but for me, in that case it was such a whirlwind that I felt out of control. I couldn't "manage" it if that makes any sense. I kept trying to regain my composure between contractions but I felt ... wild (?). I think I just let fear take over when I realized how quickly everything was happening. But it did get me to my baby quicker which made up for it!!!
 

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When I say I want a fast labor, like 1 hour or something, the people in the know tell me I probably don't. But, I still think I do. Especially since this is my last baby. Bring it on! And get it over with!
I loved my 1 hour labor, and my 2 hour labors. :D The last 2 hour labor spent in the shower was soooooooo much more relaxing and I felt so much more in control (which is difficult in such a whirlwind of physical intensity.)

I totally understand where the fast birthing mamas are coming from. It's fast and furious and immediately after baby is born, it's pure bliss, but there can definitely be some anxiety as it begins. Have you all tried Rescue Remedy for this? It might take the edge off a bit (or if you drink the whole bottle, maybe it's the alcohol. :lol)

I had a "Darn, I can't turn back now!" moment the other day but it was absolutely concerning the newborn lack of sleep stage, which to me, is the most insane of the insanity. I can handle the intensity of birth but the thought of how I'm going to survive the lack of sleep sent me into a panic. I feel soooooo awful when I don't get a solid night's sleep lately that I fear I'll feel this way for many months to come just from not sleeping through the night. And I confess I've even had little moments of "What was I thinking? All of my kids sleep through the night and are fairly self-sufficient and I'm starting all over!" and then I felt guilty and had to rub baby girl's bum and apologize and tell her I love her and she's very much wanted.

But seriously, I think in every pregnancy since my first, since I found out what labor/birth was like, I've had 1-2 moments of panic with crazy-intense contractions at some point in each 3rd trimester. I have honestly thought I was in labor once or twice in each pregnancy just because I'd get into this pattern of intense, frequent BH topped with panic and it would just spiral out of control. A hot shower and some magnesium and deep breathing would bring me to center and I'm hoping I can remember all of this enough to avoid it this time.

And I swear, getting into the hot shower almost immediately after labor began last time REALLY calmed things down. I was able to get in my zone, I felt totally safe, nobody bothered me yet I knew they were just outside the bathroom should I need anything and baby and I just journeyed together through the waves. I'd love for this labor/birth to go the same way. :love

Fear only leads to more pain, so letting go and finding your zone is the key (which I have to remind myself of every time!)
 

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@Metasequoia - I wouldn't be afraid of a fast labor, but excited! I'd think,wow this is intense and in a moment in between contractions I'd let everyone know how happy I was that it was going to be quick! I've never panicked during labor and as soon as I hit transition, I get excited because I start having those "I'm done" thoughts and I know baby is almost here!
 

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I definitely think I'd prefer it to what some mamas deal with over days, but for me, in that case it was such a whirlwind that I felt out of control. I couldn't "manage" it if that makes any sense. I kept trying to regain my composure between contractions but I felt ... wild (?). I think I just let fear take over when I realized how quickly everything was happening. But it did get me to my baby quicker which made up for it!!!
I can understand that feeling of lack of management.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I think that's where my fear comes in. I have absolutely no breaks between ctx once they are real, then I can't breathe and just panic. I've learned how to keep myself from freaking out, mostly, but it's just so intense. It feels like a freight train running through my body.
 
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I'm freaking out over here too. I'm betting money my little girl will be making her appearance around 38 weeks, and I keep lying in bed at night thinking about the impending labor and delivery! Haha.
 

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I think that's where my fear comes in. I have absolutely no breaks between ctx once they are real, then I can't breathe and just panic. I've learned how to keep myself from freaking out, mostly, but it's just so intense. It feels like a freight train running through my body.
My births are very similar.. I reach I point towards the end where I'm sure I'm about to die. It's very short lived and it's right before baby arrives. I think I read about this phenomenon before - maybe in one of Ina May's books? But I've never actually met anyone who experienced it. Have any of you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Yep, I totally get that. My first l&d was about 12 hours and it was hard for sure, but I was able to process it. My last few are crowning before my mind is caught up. It is nice that they're so fast, and recovery is usually awesome, but it's so overwhelming in the moment. My first fast birth I literally passed out as soon as he was out, which happened without me even pushing. My brain just shut off. Plus, the hospital is farther now and I'm really not looking forward to birthing in the car, lol.
 
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I also get the ctx on top of each other freight train birth situation once things get "real", at least in two out of my three births. It's insane and awful and I can't manage it and I am unable to even take a deep breath and screaming that I would rather be dead, and just reliving it in my mind is making me tear up in self pity thinking "I don't wanna(do it again)!!!!"
I guess I'm not a tough lady. But it's scary and I'm feeling fear and dread. I'm not even really able to connect to pleasant anticipation about the bliss after because I feel no emotional connection to my babies in utero. Or any happiness about being pregnant. Rationally I understand how much I do want another child and how much I'm going to instantly fall in love and how happy and relieved I'll be and how on top of the world I'll be for weeks and months after, very smug about my new treasure, but I don't feel anything. No positive emotion yet. It's always been like that. Depressing emotional landscape and physical misery for 9 months followed by being a very happy mama with a baby wrapped to her chest all the time.

But yeah thanks for starting this thread, I'm half in denial half in utter terror at the thought of the birth. It's the first time the thought of the pain has actually given me chills of dread. For some reason I was not concerned about it before.
 

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Yes! Also moderately nervous and part of the fast birthing mama club... My middle child was the freight train birth (I hallucinated, spoke in tongues, screamed hysterically, begged people to just kill me etc) and my third, although much faster, was more peaceful and calm. So I think they are all probably just a little different regardless of length! I think once I'm not attending several natural births a week I will be better able to prepare as well... :lol Nothing like watching mamas push their baby out to remind you of your own fate! Of course I get to witness those precious first hours of perfect hormonal bliss as well, so there's the reminder of the flip side. :love
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Sounds like we are all facing reality about now! Lol
I'm almost scared to get excited about birth, even though I really do love it, because I know what it takes to get there. I can do it, I know I'm strong enough, but eeee! It hurts!!!
 

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Okay, I'm in the club. Today stunk. I woke up with a headache and felt nauseous. Had diarrhea a couple of times, continued to feel just not well. I got a shower and then was just beat so I laid down in bed and had contractions every 5 minutes for a while and they were weird - like up higher towards my ribs and my belly hurt so much - just tight everywhere. And lots of pressure around my cervix - especially when I'd pee - felt like baby was coming down the birth canal. And generally crampy.

UGH!

LOADS of anxiety as I laid in bed - my jaw hurt, my heart was thumping and I couldn't tell if I was just mentally freaking out because of my headache and thinking back to that migraine and hospital visit that freaked me out so much or panicking about being in labor 5 weeks early or who knows what.

I've had two nights in a row of little/poor sleep and I know how much that wrecks me.

Then I had to take Samual to his ball game alone with just the two boys again and I know that freaked me out further, remembering what happened that one time.

But so much of it is physical! Like the cervical pressure and crampiness and baby feeling so low....

I was sitting at the game tonight thinking, "I'm NEVER doing this again!"

I think the anxiety of the last weeks is the worst. I guess I'm a little afraid of not being able to handle labor/birth - not pain wise, but adrenal-wise - like complete adrenal exhaustion.

Any suggestions for calming things? Herbs? ANYTHING? Some Xanax? :lol
 
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