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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so mine will be 24 months apart -- per plan.

what idd you do to get your first ready for the 2nd?

what do you WISH you had done?


We co-sleep and ds has already moved from by momma only to in teh middle -- with more of a cuddle push on DH -- and seems to be working the adjustment on his own -- he rolls to DH after he nurses -- then he generally rolls back -- but he is reaching out to DH at night for the first time ever....

DH has started going to get him from his bed when he wakes to bring to to our bed, he comes right to me, but he is no longer freaked with dh and not momma arrive at his cries to bring him in.

i am going to stop rocking to sleep and start laying down with him to sleep soon --

i am letting him walk more -- warm weather helpping that too -- like to and from the car rather than being carried, i still -- of course -- lift him in and out of the car itself.


we are working on going down the stairs, he goes up well....

whatelse................

he is not in a crib -- but a big boy bed where he naps alone (well I have gone back to napping with him -- i am so tired -- but not every time ) and where he goes to bed till we go to bed......

what did you do, what do you WISH you had done

Aimee
 

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:

Mine will be 22 months apart! One thing I'll be doing is investing in some more wraps and making sure to go to my NINO group meetings as much as possible since my carrying skills when DD was an infant were abysmal.

Also, we've moved a big mattress onto the floor for DD and she sleeps on it, while DH and I sleep on our mattress beside hers - although I usually end up with her, I'm hoping to gradually change that. Although maybe we'll end up with DD and DH on one bed and me and the new babe on the other once that time arrives.
 

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Mine are 19 months apart. Q was 10.5 months old when I got pregnant with Bastian.

I started talking to Q about her baby sib pretty early in the pregnancy . . . about the time I started to show. I kept it pretty casual and general for the most part. She really liked feeling him kick and seemed to have some solid memories of being in there herself when I asked her about that. She went with me to all my appointments and we read some stories about having a new baby in the house and becoming a big sister.

DH started putting her to sleep and we worked our way toward him doing it half the time. I'd still nurse her first, but not in bed (in our "special chair" at my desk instead) and then he'd walk her down in the sling and lie down with her.

We practiced patience and taking turns at home and with her friends. She got into sharing her toys and being shared with in return. That's helped A LOT, especially with sharing her mama milk.

I really wish we'd prepared her, and ourselves, for the possibility that I'd be away overnight. Even though I'd instinctively felt I needed to birth at the hospital, we still optimistically felt any complications would be resolved fairly quickly and we'd be home that night. Instead, B and I were admitted for 3 days and Q wasn't allowed to room in because she hadn't had either chicken pox or the vax. A little foresight would have made that a much less traumatic event for both of us.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Quote:
she hadn't had either chicken pox or the vax
I had NOT thought of this -- t has not had either -- either -- and while i am planning on being gone one or two nights i WAS planning on his visiting.......like the brother in his waiting for baby book...

hummmmmmm

Aimee
 

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Congrats Mamas on your pregnancies! Mine are 19 months apart. I "prepared" my younger one by talking about the baby, taking her to all my prenatals and she "helped" find the heartbeat of the baby with a doppler/stethoscope (my MW office is in her house so it was totally laid back), and reading Baby on the Way by Dr. Sears. I didn't do much else...I had a HB/waterbirth and dd came over right after I gave birth (I chose not to have her here and she went to the campus day care). She nightweaned herself (mostly) by herself when she was 14mo and dh took a much more active role in putting her to sleep. Now I tandem nurse so she is used to sharing her nursies. I can't think of much else...hmmm...maybe I will be back later...gotta go rescue dd#2 from her sister's "help" rolling over!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post
B and I were admitted for 3 days and Q wasn't allowed to room in because she hadn't had either chicken pox or the vax. A little foresight would have made that a much less traumatic event for both of us.
I can't believe that's an issue! I would never have even thought of that. DS has not had CP or the vax either-- to what extent does that matter? Was it just the rooming in that was a problem or is it a problem with visiting also???
 

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My two close siblings are bigger now, so feel free to tell me to bog off
We barely talked about the baby in advance- about what things would be like, what labour would be like, etc. We talked about how a new person was growing in my tummy, and how amazing that was. We talked about how long it took for things to grow- and planted sunflowers. He came to all the scans, was there during all of my AN visits (the midwife came to my home), listened to the heartbeat, got to prod my tummy and was shown "look, there's the back. There's the bottom...can you see the feet? Whoo, look, he just turned over!" Alex was with me during labour- we sat in a paddling pool full of warm water in the very early morning- up until I felt the need to be by myself and get on with it.
One thing that did make a difference to us was asking Alex (elder son) to label Isaac's emotions: Isaac was very hard work as a newborn, and Alex was brilliant about being able to empathise if he thought Isaac was tired, or hungry, or bored, or frustrated. It also reinforced the idea of Isaac as a person, rather than a sack of spuds.
HTH
 

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the big things that helped us were:

1) ds walking more instead of always being carried
2) teaching ds to "fetch" a diaper for the baby
:
3) going up and downstairs alone
4) shhhhhhh - a much harder concept than i realized for a toddler to grasp.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Quote:
to label Isaac's emotions:
excellent idea -- we do this in books now -- this might help...



A
 

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I'm curious about the vax issue too, I wonder how I can find out if that will be an issue or not. I'm not sure I want to call the hospital and bring it up or just hope its not an issue. This is stressing me out now though!!
 

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My boys are 20 months apart. We talked about the baby alot, and felt and kissed the tummy. We visited neighbors/friends new babies, and I held the new babies with ds1 talking to and sitting near me (ds1 was very territorial so this helped with mom holding a new baby). Naturally, as I started to grow bigger, dad started to pick him up more, and play on the floor more, so there was a pleasing trend to like to play with daddy more, which leads to being more comfortable overall. Ds1 was a clingy boy to his mama, but that changed thankfully (now I wish he was still a mamas boy)

We also bought some small gifts that we kept in the closet for when we had baby showers or visitors that brought gifts for the baby and not ds1. We also wrapped presents and put it in the hospital bag for gifts to ds1 from the baby. http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...0/100_0331.jpg

I also cannot speak for the pp, but I believe vaxes are the issue if the baby is admitted to a nursery for health reasons. I do not know how we could of prepared my ds1 for the three day hospital stay, or ten day nicu stay for ds2 where I was at the hospital alot. He did wonderfully though, and my sister stayed at the house with him when we were not able to be there. He was not allowed to come into the nursery (though we snuck him in once ds2 moved to the front, and he totally "got" what we were doing there, and who his brother was) You never want to think about bad things, but there should be back up plans, with you saying to friends or family, if we need help with toddler, could you be availiable?

As for the jealousy and sharing toys and parents time, we did the best we could, and they are sweet to eachother, but we have our moments of him telling us to put down the baby, or put him to bed
)

If there is one thing I could of known would of been to help ds1 become more in touch and used to a baby crying and teaching them that is how they communicate. For the first month or so, ds1 got very teary when ds2 cried becuase of baths, diaper changes, etc. It still upsets him when ds2 gets worked up, "masey cry mama, masey cry"


Good luck and being an in touch mom and thinking about these things in the beginning is the right start!

Leaving you with our little ones initial reaction just 8 mths ago....
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...0/100_0332.jpg
 

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DS was born 3 days after DD turned 2. (Whew... same due date but NOT same birthday!)

We didn't really do much. We talked about the coming baby. Did get her to sleep on a crib mattress on the floor in case we needed the crib (we didn't). We didn't have any problems... well, until DS turned 6mo old and the jealousy began.

Oh, for me the most difficult part in the early days? DD decided she was ready to potty learn when DS was 1 mo old. Not easy to schedule potty trips between demand feedings
 

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My girls are 17 months apart, and the things that we did to prepare:

- DH began giving dd her bath, which was so helpful when I became huge, and also after her sister came (I would bf the baby while bath was going on).

-DH started putting her to bed, which was a difficult adjustment for all of us! But it really helped us in the long run, especially when I was in the hospital.

-My daughter loves books, and I found 2 that were very helpful and perfect for her age level. "Backpack Baby" is adorable, about a baby riding on his father's back, whispering to everyone his secret...turns out his secret is his baby sister, who is in a sling in front of daddy! Great book! Another book we loved was "What's Inside" which showed a bunch of things, like what's inside a suitcase, and what's inside a teddy bear, etc. and then the last chapter shows whats inside mommy's belly...my daughter loved opening up each item to see what was inside.

- we bought my daughter a baby doll, and we used that for "practice"

- we bought my daughter some presents that were from the baby and gave it to her in the hospital.
My daughter was great in the hospital, but was very concerned about my iv, which I wish I would have covered up with a towel or something. She was so concerned about me, more focused on that than the baby!

I hope these help, got to run!
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I am wondering -- too -- if the PP who's had the DD who was nt allowed to visit ---- was that DUE tot he complication that put mom and new baby in the hosptial to start with -- rather than just a routine hosptial birth?

Ours will be a hospital birth.

I want DS to visit and MAYBE room in the night -- MAYBE -- but

I am bad

I do not want to ASK about it -- for fear they will say he has to have the vax, whereas maaaybe if he jsut showes up no one asks.......

don't ask / don't tell .....

so I don't know what to do -- I may ask my OB.....

a back up plan -- NICU related is excelent idea. My sis just had a baby -- NO problems in less than 12 hours from start to baby -- in a birth center -- THEN ended up in the hosptial for 4 day HERSE:F due to bp and blood work.....(her 4 yo is still haveing a bad time f it 6 weeks later..she was supposed to be gone over night) ---- sooooooo yes we will be making a back up plan....in case anything happens to me or baby......

Quote:
Leaving you with our little ones initial reaction just 8 mths ago....
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f1...0/100_0332.jpg
I am sorry -- I am sure your heart was breaking -- but
-- that is kinda cute!!!!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Aimee21972 View Post
I am sorry -- I am sure your heart was breaking -- but
-- that is kinda cute!!!!
It was such a picture of the moment you know, I was a little sad, but amused more or less at the whole picture after I got it developed. They are becoming fast friends!
 
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