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DS is 3y9m and this is his 4th week at preschool. We go for 2 hours twice a week, and I know this is still the adjustment phase, but I'm hoping for some advice. I was just shocked at how mean some of the children are to each other, especially at this young age (the oldest child is 4).<br><br>
DS is the new kid, and some of the other boys haven't been very nice to him (one in particular isn't really nice to anybody, but he's instigated some others ganging up on DS). DS is perfectly capable of defending himself (and if it were up to me, I'd let him), but of course they always wind up hitting, kicking, throwing stuff, etc., which is unacceptable. Also, DS is only there for a couple of hours, while all the other kids seem to be there when we arrive and remain there after we leave (and I'm sitting there watching them the whole time), and I'm sure that doesn't help.<br><br>
The teachers are all great and intervene in kind and gentle ways. But how do you teach your child to stand up for himself without lashing out? I don't believe in violence, but I don't want DS to turn into a tattletale or think he has to just stand there and take it. Also, DS really likes going to school and is a good-natured kid who enjoys playing with the other children -- I really want to encourage that.<br><br>
Any ideas? TIA!
 

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Out of curiosity - why do you stay with him? Does this make him "different" from the other kids? (and thus a target).<br><br>
I want to say that it's probably just fitting in stuff going on (I think it took my kids 6-8 weeks to get into the routine of school, figure out the social dynamics and their place in it, etc.).<br><br>
What do the preschool teachers say and recommend?<br><br>
I think teaching social skills has got to be the hardest job of a parent. One that I currently feel like I'm failing at miserably. But I didn't want to read and not respond. Hopefully others will have better suggestions!
 

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Hmmm...how exactly are the teachers intervening? I think it's important to give your DS the words (and his teachers should be doing this):<br>
"Don't push me."<br>
"It's my body."<br>
"I don't want to play that game."<br><br>
At DS's school in that kind of instance, the teachers would make sure the instigator had to stop and listen to what the other kid had to say. So they're trying to teach them to stick up for themselves with words, IYKWIM.<br><br>
Why are the other kids there for a longer time?<br><br>
Anyway, it must be hard to watch your sweet boy get picked on. Hope you can figure out a way to deal with it.<br><br>
-e
 
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