I really like the
Motivated Moms program (though your dh may want to call it something else! LOL) and there is a free week or so posted on their website that you could "try out" to see if it would work for you/your partner.
What I like the most about the system is that it really forces you to take "small bites" that are very easy to accomplish. I've tried FlyLady several times in the past and always get frustrated... even though she says over and over again to start small and be consistant, the whole FlyLady routine is just never ending and I feel discouraged when I don't do "the whole thing" (and in the case of FlyLady "the whole thing" would have me working 24/7 and still not getting everything done! lol).
Anyway, the Motivated Moms program provides a daily chore list with the goal of keeping the house clean/organized/running smoothly without spending much time/effort on it. Like, the chores for one day might include cleaning the top shelf of the fridge. Not the whole fridge, JUST that one shelf. Once the shelf is clean you check it off the list and you're done! Then a few days later maybe the list will include the fridge door, or the crisper, or the middle shelf. It means that by the end of a month the whole fridge is clean but you've never spent more than a few minutes at a time on it. Each day is dividied into a routine chore checklist (feed the pets, empty the sink, take your vitamins, do the laundry) and a "chores of the day" checklist with 4-8 items listed (the fridge shelf, wiping the windows in the guest room, vacuuming the living room, calling in perscription refills, trimming the children's finger nails, emptying out the trash in the family car, wiping down the stove, restocking the TP). For me it works really well because it sort of enforces small, focused, activity and provides feedback from the "check off" items. The daily routine portion usually takes me a out 30 minutes a day and the "chore of the day" portion usually takes another 15-30 minutes depending on the day. Since it's cyclical, the idea is that if you don't do something one day you just wait for it to come round again so there's no sense of trying to catch up and no worry that you'll fall behind.
During my babymoons DH does most of the household tasks and he and I have very different ideas about what "makes a tidy house" and DH's ADD means he is easily side tracked into time consuming but not very productive "big picture" tasks (like putting away dishes and getting sidetracked into organizing the silverware drawer... he feels like he has worked all day on cleaning, but from a "look at the kitchen" perspective nothing has changed). Printing out a week or two of MM pages and taping them to the wall has been a wonderful tool... dh has a short, focused list and anyone who stops by and asks how they can help can just pick a 5 minute chore off the day's list and have at!
It just focuses on one room of the house per week with little tasks. I also like her kid challenges. They are really easy like, go to your room and find 5 things that are out of place and put them away. Really easy stuff!
