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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I posted this in the Parenting section, and then realized that it would probably be better here...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:<br><br>
A couple of months ago all I could think about was ttc another baby. My dd is 28 months and I was feeling like it was time. And I was almost desperate to do it. Then I decided that it would be best to wait until I had finished some schooling and work, and we secured some other things in our life. Which was ok even though i was a little sad. We then moved and it has been crazy, but things are much better now and my schooling will be done by May. So, we were thinking it would be better to ttc #2 sooner than later and we would start trying soon.<br><br>
Well, I am so scared now. Just the thought of being pregnant again right now, for some reason is freaking me out. Mostly b/c I had it in my head that my dd would be much older than 3 and 1/2 when we had another, and I am scared that this will be too soon. There are so many wonderful reasons to do it soon, but I was getting used to the idea of waiting, and now I just can't get my head around it. Anyone else go through this? What did you do? Help!
 

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i'm 6 weeks pg right now and i still don't know if it was a smart move! mostly i have my doubts late at night when dd wakes me to nurse and i start to wonder if i'll be ruining everyone's life by having this baby. if she'll hate her sibling the way i did mine. if my milk will dry up and her heart will break because of it. if she'll get sick for the first time in her life because she's not nursing. if i have the mental and emotional fortitude to survive being a single mother until i am 28 freaking weeks pregnant. if i can handle 2 children. if i can survive another labor and birth (21+ hours of back labor). if my husband will even be there for the birth.<br><br>
in the day time it doesn't look as bleak. i have to tell myself that doubts are normal. that a baby is a joy and that dd will love having another little person around to commiserate with over the weirdness of her parents. that it will all work out, and that since i got pregnant on the one time we had sex that month, that it must be part of some greater plan for my life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
aahhh, Elphaba, you made me cry. Thank you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
And I feel the same way. I don't know half the time if I wil be able to handle two children under four, if my avid nurser will lose all her milk, if I will have so little sleep after the baby is born, that I will want to run away crying, and my dh is away all the time, so I will be mostly on my own in a new town. I wonder if I am crazy for doing this. But...<br><br>
It all makes so little and so much sense all at the same time. I have to remember too, that when I first became pregnant last time, I was scared out of my mind, and didn't have half the support I have now. And I did it then, and everything was fine, better than fine. And now I have my dd, and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.<br><br>
And I also feel, that I should maybe wait a bit. Wait it out, until I am not stressing about it, until I feel comfortable with the things I am stressing about, as I did before. Maybe I just have to think about it some more, feel the possibility of it as real again, and go from there. ... hmmmm...
 

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I'm pregnant with my third and there are still many times that I think "what in the world was I thinking???" When we decided to try for #2 I was had a lot of questioning, "would I love another as much?" "Would it screw up my first?" You, know, that type of thing. When I finally got pregnant I was so excited that none of that mattered anymore.<br><br>
My almost 3 year old is demanding my attention at the moment, so I must sign off, but know that you aren't alone.<br><br>
*trying desperately to finish before he logs me off.*<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:
 
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