[wordprincess]

Our daughter is 4 1/2 months old and I have nursed her to sleep for all her naps and to bed at night. But the problem is, she doesn't stay asleep for very long when I'm not in bed with her.

So, often she's in my lap asleep before we all go to bed (that's where she is right now). I'm not really sure what to do to get her to sleep on her own.

Every once in awhile, I can nurse her to sleep in our bed and she won't wake for maybe 45 minutes - tops. For naps, the longest she's stayed asleep without me is when I set her, asleep, into her infant car seat (which is odd because she's definitely not a big fan of this thing when she's awake). If I try to set her down anywhere else, she wakes almost immediately.

Any suggestions?

 

[rzberrymom]

The No Cry Sleep Solution has helped us quite a bit. It has tips for what you're struggling with.

Sears also talks about the fact that a baby's light awakening (when they're most vulnerable to wake ups and often notice that you're not there) happens at around 30-45 minutes until they're at least 6 months--possibly a protection against SIDS.

Maybe she's just not ready to sleep on her own yet--I know mine isn't, and they're almost the same age. I use a little book light and try to do bills, read a book, etc. while she naps. Or, if I have to go out, I put her in the sling to nap.

 

[stashalou]

I just want to tell you that my dd is 14 months old and still nurses to sleep - but now she stays that way for at least four hours or so. But when she was your baby's age I had the same problem. She would fall asleep so easily at the breast, and sleep so soundly there but the minute I put her down her eyes flew open. I drove me mad, I couldn't get anything done. But even if you don't come up with any techniques to change her at this point hang in there she will grow out of it!!

Good luck!

stashalou

 

[AugustineM]

Same here! My DS wouldn't sleep for more than 45 min to an hour without me until about 3 weeks ago (he's now 9 mo.) and now he'll sleep for 3-4 hours without me. It changed very suddenly, just one night he slept from about 8-12pm! Wow! I think it had to do with no longer teething so heavily and he learned how to crawl and stand up really well. I think a lot of frequent night-waking is due to lots of brain activity and being unable to shut down without help.

Don't worry too much about your baby not being able to fall asleep on "her own." I think most babies can't do that anyway, until they are much older. It's good of you to be patient with her and help her sleep. She needs it!

 

[The4OfUs]

Another former lap napper and chest sleeper chiming in that it's not unusual at all, especially at 4-1/2 months for your babe to wake when you put her down. My DS napped on me until he was almost 14 months old - I "worried" about it in the beginning, worryign that I'd be setting him up to always need me (before I started coming to MDC and learned a lot about trusting my instincts that he needed/wanted me for a reason - thank you MDC!), but then started to enjoy the time to just zone out and found I could do other things (as pp mentioned) as long as I set myself up beforehand. Sometimes I would veg in front of the computer with him asleep on my lap laying on a Boppy pillow, sometimes I would be lounging in a chair watching TV or paying bills...now, I almost miss the fact that at 16 months he naps on the futon nearby without "needing" me! I'd just keep doing what you need to to make your daughter comfy - she'll grow out of it soon enough, especially if she knows she can count on you to help her when she needs you!

PS - on the rare times I did need to put him down to go do something, I waited plenty long, because I read somewhere that you need to wait at least 20 minutes after the "wet noodle" stage (where you can pick up their arm and it will just flop back down without them waking) before putting them down or they'll startle back up. Sometimes that would only give me 20 minutes or so, but that was often all I needed. The wet noodle trick worked well for me, you might want to give that a try.

Good luck! No time to proof, so sorry for any typos!

 

[sistermama]

You might want to try a sheepskin:
http://www.kiwi-sheepskins.com/baby-...-baby-care.asp
They can be found for quite a bit cheaper at IKEA, if you have one near you. My dd loves to sleep on hers. When I put her down on it (asleep), she snuggles her face into it, graps handholds of wool and falls back asleep. We take it with us everywhere, because it is her bed away from bed, kwim?

 

[stashalou]

I've heard about babies loving sheepskins before. And an Ikea just opened up near me. Do toddlers like it too?

stashalou

 

[sistermama]

Quote:

I've heard about babies loving sheepskins before. And an Ikea just opened up near me. Do toddlers like it too?

Ds loves his little sister's. You could always bring your dc to Ikea and try it out. Where are you BTW, if you don't mind me asking, that you just got an IKEA? Rumor has it we are getting one here in Orlando next year. (please, please, please)

 

[Victorian]

first of all, know that this is completely normal developmentally. There is nothing that needs to be *fixed* and you are doing everything just fine

second of all, we all need to use the bathroom and eat lunch. My favorite two tricks are 1) sheepskin and 2) your nightgown from the night before (unwashed). Sometimes this can buy you a few minutes. The sheepskin will warm up be comforting and the nightgown provides the right smell.

V.

 

[sistermama]

As I'm sitting at my desk about to do it, have you tried the boppy transfer? As in, nurse to sleep on boppy, disengage mouth, let settle back down and then transfer onto a safe surface carrying the boppy with baby in it? I do it twice a day at work, and it works really well.

 

[wordprincess]

Thanks for all the support and suggestions!!

I do find that I end up wearing her in her sling(s)

for a lot of naps and I work part-time from home and my work is on the computer and sometimes phone and I have gotten pretty good at one-handed typing, so it's not that much of a bother if she naps on me. So, it's good to know it's so normal and esp at this age.

I love it, personally, it's great to have the suggestions, though, for when I do need a "moment" and it happens to be when she is asleep. My ped said to nurse her until she's drowsy and then put her down (obv not pro-co-sleeping, so I didn't even ask) and I have no idea when that drowsy mark is, but I do know the limp noodle test!!

And I'll have to try the boppy transfer! And re-read NCSS!

I'm so glad I found MDC!!

 

[Victorian]

welcome BTW! Putting down while sleepy IMO is a nice way of saying CIO so is "letting them find their own way to sleep". Not for me and NO thank you!

I still nurse my 23 month old to sleep, I

it!

 

[wordprincess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victorian welcome BTW!

Thanks!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victorian Putting down while sleepy IMO is a nice way of saying CIO so is "letting them find their own way to sleep". Not for me and NO thank you!

Oh, that explains why it wasn't working!

:LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victorian I still nurse my 23 month old to sleep, I it!

I have a feeling I'll be doing the same!