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So I have been planning to birth at a free-standing birth center near my home. There are four midwives you rotate through and I met the last one today. I haven't really hit it off with any of the midwives like I did with my previous midwife (in another state), but no big deal. Today, I just really felt like this last midwife and I were just not a good fit. She looked at her computer screen more than me, I felt like she was putting off my issues until the next visit so someone else could deal with them, and I felt like she wasn't really listening or caring, more like she just wanted to get me out the door (I had a mid-morning appt, not right before lunch or end of day or anything.) I also left feeling like there was a high chance that I would be transfered (due to possible pre-term labor) and not get to birth there anyways.

On top of that, today I find out that our application for insurance was accepted and they cover maternity services and hospital births 100%.

Ug. I am 30 weeks along (with possibly only 6 weeks left if I go early again). I really don't want to change providers at this point, but I guess that would be better than changing providers during labor.

I also really don't want a hospital birth, but if I go into labor even one day before 37 weeks, I can't birth at the birth center or with any home birth midwives I had previously interviewed.

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

So what do I do? Hope this midwife is not the one on call when I go into labor and that I hope I go into labor after 37 weeks? Do I start shopping for another group of providers (that my insurance will pay for)? Ug. I am just dragging my feet here because I really don't know what to do. This is totally throwing off everything I had planned for and hoped for.

Thanks for reading! Suggestions? Sympathy?
 

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Since you're not happy with any of the midwives and you may need to go to the hospital anyway, I would at least check out the providers at the hospital to see if any of them works better. You might be lucky; not all OBs are scary.

I transfered my care to a different provider two weeks ago - my original provider doesn't support VBACs - and so far, I'm really happy with them. They just seem like such a better fit as a group than the previous group. I sort of wish I'd been more conscientious about checking out different providers with my last birth.
 

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First off, big sympathy.

You mention that your insurance application was accepted, and that maternity and hospital services are covered. I'm just curious if there's a timeline on that coverage? Most insurance, unless it is through an employer, will require you to wait anywhere from 6 months to a year before they will start that type of coverage. You'll have it, and they'll cover 100%, but only after X amount of time. If you haven't checked to be sure, make sure to do that first before you make any decisions. Find out if your maternity coverage will begin on day 1 of your policy, or if there will be a waiting period.

Next off... I would shop around. I think free-standing birth centers are amazing... My first was born in one, and it was a spectacular experience for me. But as beautiful as the center was, and as nice as the tub was, my experience was great because I clicked very, very well with my providers. I felt cared for, concerned for, and adored. My wishes were honored, and treated with respect. While hospitals are scary to a lot of mamas (me included), I think I would probably honestly feel better about birthing in one if I had great providers. I know a few people who have gone with hospital CNMs (vs. an OB), and have really liked the women in their practice.

If it is indeed covered, it isn't going to hurt you to interview some hospital based CNMs and see how you click. The upside to going that route, would be that if you were to go and 36w6d, you could have YOUR midwife with you in the hospital, vs. having to go to a total stranger at the hospital because you were risked out of the birth center.

There is a possibility that you'd interview some CNMs, and wouldn't like them. In which case, at least you know. You can continue seeing your midwives at the birth center, and still shop around. I'm a person who really likes knowing, so that's my two cents. All you'd be out is time if you decide to stick with the free-standing birth center.

Good luck mama, and hugs about your situation!
 

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I feel for you! I had a little freakout about my hospital choice after going on the tour (the post-partum part of the experience is not great). So I called around to arrange to meet with some other providers. 2 of them were instantly ruled out because they weren't taking any more patients! So, just a bit of advice, call around now. I mean, don't stress too much over it, but some might already be full, and others might have a cutoff date for when you can switch to them (one was 33 weeks for me).

Oh, and in the end, I decided to stay with my current plan. But I am glad I called around!!
 

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I yo-yo so bad with this type of thing. When I am with my OB I think ok, her and a hospital is fine. When I'm in my Bradley class I think, of crap! I have to get into a birth center. But since you are activly upset with your experiences with the midwives you've met, I think you should definately look around. But keep in mind, even if you love one of five you meet somewhere else, that only gives you a 1:5 chance of having her and since you migh be a hospital birth anyway, that decreases your chances further of knowing/being able to choose who you birth with. It's not the end of the world either way. But I would just say do what you can to settle your mind now but don't try to control things to the point where you get super upset. There are so many things left to chance for this experience, just make sure you have all the things you know you want and you can control in place. Worry less about the things that you might be able to chose but you simply may not get due to odds.

Good Luck!
 
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