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My DH is not a book reader. He is not a message board reader. Basically his parenting skills come from seeing his mom (no dad) raise him and his 3 siblings with very little money. There was a lot of yelling and broken wooden spoons in his childhood. When I read all the wonderful things here about how to raise an open, loving, well rounded, self assured child, I am inspired. My concern comes when DH is left to his ideas. We have discussed spanking or other physical punishments. He hates the idea of it and we have decided we are not going to use that type of thing with our DD. He is not in the mentality of "I survived, so it is okay". I just don't know how to bring up these ideas with him. Our DD is only 1 and has not pushed us too much just yet.<br><br>
Should I wait till the opportunity presents itself and use it as a teaching tool? Or do I make up hypothetical situations and see what his instincts tell him to do? He follows my lead on many things. It took 6 months to fully convert to cloth diapers, but he is completely on board now. He likes co-sleeping with her, but she kinda hates it, so it doesn't happen too often. He is squeamish about BF'ing at all, but has not tried to make me stop since I put my foot down about 6 months ago. Basically he lets me call the shots, but I don't want to be dictating everything, KWIM?<br><br>
So for you ladies with DH's that aren't so into everything AP (at least not on the surface), please let me know what you do.
 

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I think example is a great teacher. Also sharing some of the things you're learning during his more mellow, receptive times (such as after lovemaking). Just don't take it too personally if he falls asleep while you're talking!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I'm with you on not wanting to be the one who's dictating all the parenting choices. My DH was raised very mainstream, My parents were AP before there was a name for it. NFL and AP come as second nature to me because that's all I know.<br>
Example has been the best teacher for DH. DH's best friend happened to marry a woman who is very AP (more so than me, she reads the books, I just make it up as I go along). Their dd is 2 years older than ours. When we spend time with them DH comes home and wants to talk about parenting because he likes what he sees happening with his friend's dd. I also find telling him a story about other parents in our playgroup gives him a "real" situation to react to as opposed to something I make up. I'm continuously surprised at how good DH's instincts are, especially considering what a mess his mother is.<br>
DH often tells people that cloth diapers are the only diapers he's ever used so he doesn't know if it's harder than disposeables. I like his clean slate approach.
 

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How about telling him about things you read on here. For example "Hey DH, I was on MDC today and I was reading about a Mama who had XYZ problem. One of the suggestions was ABC. I thought it was a great idea! We'll have to keep that in mind for when DD gets older and goes through that stage!"
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">How about telling him about things you read on here. For example "Hey DH, I was on MDC today and I was reading about a Mama who had XYZ problem. One of the suggestions was ABC. I thought it was a great idea! We'll have to keep that in mind for when DD gets older and goes through that stage!"</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: That's what I do. My DP won't read anything either, but I'm slowly working him around. I also do a lot of "You wouldn't believe what this woman's DP did! We wouldn never do that!" and when he asks why I can fill him in on the research/philopsophy.<br><br>
This method has really worked for us. When I was pregnant we went from him wanted to call an ambulance at the first sign of labour to hiring a doula to planning a homebirth for the next one!
 
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