I'm a stay at home mom and chose to stay home to be a MOM. I'm home for the children, NOT the house. yet, I feel like I'm a slave to the house due to household chores. I have spent so much time crying because if I want to keep the hosue decent with 3 lil ones I end up spending more time cleaning than I do actually with them lately, and that's not why I'm home! I told dh many times since dd#1 that I'm home for the kids not to be a maid. He did say that he agrees and that we would hire a housekeeper to clean and do some of the cooking as soon as we can (some people pay alot of money for daycares, summer camps and private schools, so why not hire a housekeeper so I can spend more time with my kids? It costs less too!). That may happen in the next 6 months to a year, which I'm excited about, but what do I do until then? The children do help as much as they are able, and I do give them more chores then some kids get. We also homeschool so they are all home all day, which is AWESOME, but it does mean we need to clean more than if we weren't all home all day. Dh only does a little bit of cleaning to "help out" when it is convenient for him, when he feels like it. I've tried giving him chores and delegating it to him, and he'll even say he'll try but it won't get done and I don't want to do it for him (or else he'll certainly never do it) but then I'm embarassed to have anyone over. I've also tried getting him to agree to be in charge of most of the cleaning and I'd be in charge of all of the cooking, and everyone helps with after meal clean-ups, and I would ofcourse oversee the children when they clean (ofcourse the baby doesn't have chores). But nothing and I'm getting frustrated. I don't know what to do! I do not nag him, because that isn't good for anybody. He comes hoem and says he's tired and too stressed or not feeling so well, he always has SOMETHING, but then he spends the evening on the computer and we all miss him. When he spends time with us he's always complaining, gets cranky and often will fall asleep. He's on that darned computer until 1 am and sometimes later and wakes up at 6:30 am for work. Before anyone says porn, I did put some software that monitors what he does and then e-mails me a report and it's not porn or games or anything like that. He just loves computers and spends so much time reading about anything to do with computers and programming, but it's like an addiction. Some people feel liek they married a car, I feel like I married a computer sometimes and often feel like a single mom but I'm not. Anyway, sorry for the vent. I just don't know how to get dh to participate in the hosuehold chores that need to be done without nagging, which I will not do as it would certainly hurt our relationship and that's not what I want to do. I'm sure there are others out there in similar situations, or atleast with dh who expect them to do all the chores and cooking because they are a SAHM. Any suggestions are much appreciated!