[Fluffy Peanut]

I need some advice. I want to start getting my kids (ages 6 months and 2.5 years) ready for bed at 8:00 and have them asleep by 9:00 because not only do I need more time to myself, but my DH and I need more couple time. The kids aren't asleep until 10:00 or 10:30 most nights and a lot of times my DH is either asleep or ready to go to sleep by the time our 2.5 year old is in bed. My DH works pretty long hours (he doesn't get home until between 6:30 and 8:30) and the few times that I tried to get my kids to bed earlier, it didn't work out too well. I was trying to make dinner and put the kids down at the same time, which was very difficult. So, I am wondering how to make this work. I'm thinking that maybe I can make dinner (enough for all of us) early and then just reheat my husband's portion when he gets home.

Is there anyone else in this situation? How do you make it work?

I have to say that I worry that my DH wont get enough time with the kids if I put them to bed earlier, yet I also worry that our marriage is going to suffer from not having enough quality couple time.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[Kirsten]

Hi Heather,

When dd1 was our only, she stayed up very late - easily 10 if not 11 each night. I stay home so we'd sleep in together (me and dd) and it gave dh more time with her in the evenings. It worked fine for us when we only had one child and there was no schedule (preschool, dance, etc.) to work around.

Once dd2 came along, dd1 was old enough (4) to be in preschool and classes like dance. We couldn't sleep in as much and it just seemed not to work with two kids. We adjusted to having more of a bedtime (actually, made that change when dd1 was 3 and started preschool now that I think about it).

Now we have three kids (8, 4 and 1) and I am an absolute nutcase if we don't get them all in bed by 9:00! I need some grown up time! I am a better mom if I get that time in the evenings.

Trick is getting dinner on the table by 6 or 6:30. (Notice I didn't say that I am good at that - only that that is what works...) Then you can get done with dinner, do baths, read, get 'em tucked in and those doors closed by 9:00! In your case I would definitely feed those kids early - you could eat with them or with dh. Most everything reheats fine. Regardless, you are not alone! Lots of us with this issue.

 

[Linda KS]

At our house, dinner is at 6. If DH makes it home, great, if not, we eat without him. Depending on what time Dh thinks he will be home, the girls and I do as much as the bedtime routine before Dh gets home as is possible -- toys are picked up, kids are bathed and in jammies, etc. They do not like to go to bed before DH is home, so they can watch TV or play a quiet game or something else calm and not messy. (They are very active and messy all day, but it has to stop at some point or I want to jump our a window). They spend a little time with DH when he gets home and often have a bedtime snack while he eats his dinner. They seem to all enjoy eating together, even though a family dinner is not a regular thing for us at this time. Then we brush teeth, read, and I put them to bed while DH has a some down time. Then I clean the kitchen (ugh) and then DH and I have a tiny bit of grown up time.

My kids don't go to bed at the same time every night. That just doesn't work for us. The kids stay up later on nights when my DH gets home late -- but we seldom have to get up early.

 

[Fluffy Peanut]

Hi ladies! Thanks for your replies! It helps to hear how others handle this type of situation. I think I am going to make it so that my 2.5 year old and I eat at around 6pm and then I'll get both kids ready for bed and I'll try to have them asleep by 9pm. I think having the bedtime at 9pm will allow them to spend some time with their daddy.